#tiyesday

[whenava-tiyewhere]

Tiye's Day Update:

Thus far…

Woke up in a funk for no reason, fed my egun and the egun (ancestors) of the house, Ma and I got locked outside, had to break into the house, went to do my daughter-in-law/wifely duties by running Ma’s errands, damn near got pick-pocketed by this lady who went into my purse and took my wallet, bowed her in her ribs, she dropped my wallet and her jacket full of stolen merchandise exploded like a piñata, she tried to get buck, bowed her again and left, got a call from my cousin who lives down the street from me, says she has a free ticket for me to go and see August Wilson's "Gem of the Ocean," tonight at seven, currently getting ready...

More to come!

What a day, what a day!!

Bow! (Remember when people would say that after everything two years ago)?

[whenava-tiyewhere]

It's Tiye's Day

This Tuesday, I just wanna have a flashback session. Shout out to all the aunties, play mamas, and god mamas who called perfume, "smell good," back in the day. Those were some sweet-smellin' memories!

[whenava-tiyewhere]

It's Tiyesday, "Today..."

[whenava-tiyewhere]

Channeling the Many Facets of Faith this Tiyesday

So, what is faith? Is it merely belief that the Creator exists? Does it only entail trusting that the Creator will provide? It's those things and more. As I sit waiting for a job to come through that will allow me to move to New York, I spend many days and nights, and nights and days trying making sure that my transition will in fact happen. I believe that something will happen soon, whether it be a published work or acceptance into NYU or a much needed job, or an acting gig. I even trust that all will come through soon. But, I lack patience. I hate waiting!!! I feel like I'm on the edge of a major change, but this waiting madness has me antsy! I'm beginning to think that believing and trusting without patience is not faith. Surely, we've all heard the old chu'ch adage, "He may not come when you want Him, but He'll be there right on time," but how many of us have God/Spirit/the Creator on a strict schedule? We trust and believe only when we can define and control what it is that we want. That's not very fair, seeing as how we wake up each day breathing, existing, walking, talking, seeing, being loved, in love, etc. How dare I clock God? Urgggg, but in this age of "point, click, send, email, text, tweet, fax," we've (I've) become so used to instant gratification. This microwave society has desensitized me from seeing the bigger picture, of breathing, watching, and letting God work. But where to start? Praying? Meditating? Exercising? I've done all of that, but my need for results now hasn't gone away. I guess the anxiety is the lesson. Breathing through it and taking it one day at a time is usually a strength I've been blessed with, but now that everything is up in the air--job, living situation, where I want be, what I want to be doing, my art-- I am less than the pillar of patience. A Yoruba proverb teaches, "Patience is the father of good character." So, for now, I guess I'll just wait and hope that my impatience, anxiety, and doubt melts into rivers of confidence, trust, and faith. How do y'all cope with the unknown? How do you deal in the interim between point A and point B? This inquiring mind NEEDS to know.

[whenava-tiyewhere]

Feeling down and out? Stuck, stifled, and sad? In a funk and can't get out? Turn to your passion, and do what you love. Even if that passion, the one thing you feel you were sent here to do, hasn't rendered you any solace as of late. Turn to it during tough times. As for me, my bills are piling up, my money's low, each poem, play, or short story I have submitted for publication or production has been rejected. My next money-granting gig doesn't start 'til June. I'm moving to New York, but have no job, but I must................ ...............WRITE! Get the sadness, sorrow, and depression out of your bones by doing what you love. Lift yourself up through your own purpose for being alive. Keep doing until you create your own silver lining. WEDNESDAY is for _________________________ ERS! {fill in the blank with your thang}

[whenava-tiyewhere]

Tardy Tiye's Day

Today's post is very late because someone very important came into town today, and I haven't had the time to think about what on earth to write for Tiye's Day.

So, I overheard my step-dad and my man-friend talking about the role of the artist as a co-creator in the community.  Just to quickly re-cap their convo they were talking about how committed to the evolution of not only oneself, but the community as a whole, that an artist had to be.  They said that being an artist was a responsibility to uphold, challenge, advance, and contemplate on the mores of society.  The artist's process of creation, they said, was a sacred and taxing work that allowed the artist to be close to God and embody God's ability to transform.

Then I started thinking: aren't we all, in someways, artists?

Sure, we may not all paint, write, sing, dance, draw, act, or play an instrument, but in some way, haven't we all been primed for creation at some point in our lives?

Men and women become parents, the farmer tills soil and plants crops, the teacher educates and bestows upon her students knowledge and seeds for wisdom, people in various relationships foster and produce love.

Let's find our inner-artists outside of the "traditional" artistic disciplines.

As we create, our life becomes our masterpiece, and each day, we get the chance to produce that which is central to us.

Our lives are art.  What will you do with your instrument, canvas, page, and/or stage?

[whenava-tiyewhere]

Tiye's Day: A Testimonial

If you know me, which the majority of my {five} followers do, you know that the number one lesson of my late 20s has been to be a student of faith.

What does that mean?

Well, going through two years of graduate school at Temple a few years ago, I went through a deep depression. One that made me question whether I was doing the right thing, in the right space, around the right people {I'll go into detail about that in later post}.  

{This is the reason I posted the quote from Ja'Tovia yesterday about not going to grad school.  At least not until you're firm on who you are and what you believe.  It was all a learning experience though.  It made me stronger, more decisive, and definitive in my actions}.

Now, I know this sounds like a topic for Mastering-Self Monday, but because this was a life lesson I learned, I figured I'd share it on Tiye's Day.

Now where was I? Faith, yes, and my experience with it. Um hm, now for the record, I'm no evangelical Christian who's trying to convert you to my train of thought, but again, I thought I'd share.  

So, while at Temple, I found myself having to go within almost everyday. I was attempting to decipher what my reality would be.  Would it be one of doubt, worry, and fear? Would it be one of happiness, love, and abundance {and by abundance, I'm not speaking of the material}?  

Anyway, the burden of feeling like I was in total isolation in grad school and feeling like no one understood the mental and emotional strain I was under made me buckle.  I found myself angry that I went in the first place. I was also afraid to leave because I didn't want to feel like a failure, and I didn't want people to see me as one either.

I would pray everyday, asking The Creator and my ancestors for guidance, but I always went to that prayer feeling as if nothing would be done.  I found myself asking God, "If You know I believe in You, why won't You help me?"   In that same lamentation, I'd ask my ancestors, "I know you prayed for me, but why aren't your prayers working?"

I kid you not, in the middle of this emotional breakdown, I said, from nowhere--- mind you, I lived by myself,  was in the middle of divine supplication, etc, etc---and the next word that sprang from my lips was "trust."  

It was as if I hadn't said it myself.  

"Trust?"  

"Trust."  

That is the next level of faith.  Many people know and believe in The Creator and have a relationship with Him/Her, but how many of us trust?  How many of us love our ancestors, revere them, feed them with our prayers and libations, and know that they "made it" during their time, but somehow we feel like we can't/won't make it during ours?

That's when I realized how selfish I had been with The Creator, how selfish I had been to the ones who came before me.  Believing and knowing they, their love, and their faith exists is not enough.  Who am I not to trust and believe the old saying, "everything is going to be alright"?

In my study of the Ifa spiritual tradition, I am learning that we choose our paths/destiny before we are born, that we stand before God and His/Her various manifestations and accept the trials and triumphs of our current lives {and past ones, too}.  

Knowing this, I began to reason, "The Creator's abundant love would not allow me to choose a path that I am not capable of walking on."  I make a choice to not live up to the word I spoke before I was born if I continue to wallow in my pain.  My belief in God does not ensure that everything will be smooth and easy, but that belief does ensure I'm not alone.  As my Great-Aunt Annie Faye used to say, "You were not put on this earth to be comfortable."

Belief in things unseen and belief in that which is only talked about by the elders is one thing, BUT we become active participants in fulfilling our destiny by choosing to trust that we will be okay, even when we cannot see the twists and turns on the winding road ahead.  

So, with that being said, I choose to trust AND believe in the path I've chosen and I know that it would not have been an option if The Creator didn't think I could handle it.  So, through learning and growing {no matter how painful} we get the chance to build up our faith and we get to be active participants in that journey.

Knowing that you chose your journey... Isn't that life-affirming and freeing?  Trusting in that gave me power over my life, and I hope it can offer some semblance of help to you all in yours.