How to Lose Brain Cells in 30 minutes (or Why TLC Sucks)
I remember when “TLC” actually stood for “The Learning Channel.” When you could actually watch programs to stimulate your brain rather than fry it up and spit it out of your skull.
Sure, there were the sappy woman targeted shows, A Wedding Story, A Baby Story, etc., but in prime-time you could actually watch something worthwhile. Personally, my favorites were the home-improvement shows, especially Property Ladder. (In retrospect I should have seen where the channel was going considering even on those shows, the best were the train-wreck episodes where everything went wrong, but I digress).
But then, those shows were replaced by, to put it kindly, less than educational programming. (To put it bluntly: shitty, brain-numbing fare). Toddlers and Tiaras. Jon & Kate Plus 8. I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant. (As an aside, how the hell does someone not know they are pregnant? I have been through it twice, and trust me; it’s not something you miss!). However, the most egregious violation of the Learning Channel name has to be: Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.
It’s bad enough that this annoying little brat drawled her way through Toddlers and Tiaras, but to be given her own spinoff? Seriously? This show is all that is wrong with American society. This family is foul, disgusting, and championing every negative stereotype about Southern life. And people are watching it. And liking it! How the hell is that even possible? I have seen one episode, and the amount of brain cells lost in that time was amazing. I literally forgot math watching it. And if just watching these brain-dead morons was not enough, now you can smell them. A “watch and smell event” is how TLC promotes it. Because really, who doesn’t want to smell a redneck fart-feet sandwich? Ooh, I haven’t puked yet today, sign me up!
People, why in the hell are you watching this show? It’s embarrassing. It just reinforces the idea that Americans are a bunch of gun-toting, hillbilly assholes who haven’t matured beyond the age of 12. I am not saying we all must watch the Science channel 24/7, but for goodness’ sakes, stop glamorizing dumbasses and douchebags (looking at you Jersey Shore!) Let’s all pick up our brains and try using them a little. You might like it.
