Holy moly, it’s been 6 months.
Okay yeah, I’m 100% sure the Ao3 curse is real now. Will there be a time in the future where I disappear indefinitely again? Unfortunately, yes. Will The Lament of Open Skies still take a long time to finish? Also yes. But actually, that’s what I came here to talk about.
When I was in second grade, I wrote my first ‘book.’ Writing has been a passion of mine ever since. I've also been a perfectionist ever since. If it wasn’t flawless I had to scrap it. If it made it past the plotting stage, it never made it to full completion. That’s what I’ve done to The Lament of Open Skies since I originally started it in 2018. I’ve written out entire arcs, felt like they were terrible, then deleted it and started over. I’d end up dropping it for months at a time, that’s why about two years ago I told myself that I couldn’t keep doing that with my work. I re-published beste av norge. I picked up The Lament of Open Skies again. Then a year later I hit a writer's block (more like a writer's DROUGHT) and stopped writing altogether.
I made a TikTok post about The Lament of Open Skies while in this drought and didn’t mean for it to get as popular as it did, but at the same time, it felt really nice seeing that people were excited for my fic. At this point I had been working on it for six years and admittedly I grew attached. By the time I posted that video I was sure that I would complete it one day years down the line, but would always keep it to myself; my personal achievement. In light of the positivity, I picked it up again. I re-published “on falling in love with jack frost” a year after wiping it from the internet, but I wasn't ready to share my fic with the world. I didn’t want criticism over something I loved so dearly. I published a few chapters, and then I got too self-conscious, and I disappeared.
Recently, I’ve realized… maybe the perfectionism was actually imposter syndrome all along. I can’t be afraid of a little criticism if I want to become a successful writer. I sat myself down for a few weeks and finished the final draft of the series outline (with how much I have in my fic, the outlines are very detailed.) I’ve been getting back into the How To Train Your Dragon community. I’ve continuously pushed aside my doubts and my thoughts that I wasn’t being authentic as I completed the outline. Overall, I’ve just been getting more active and rebuilding my confidence. So, now I’m back.
Hi! My name is Lazarus, feel free to call me Laz. This is my little corner of the internet where I will talk about Frostcup, How To Train Your Dragon, and especially where I talk about The Lament of Open Skies; a six arc, 300 chapter HTTYD fic with magic, characters that go mad, and loops that connect everything to each other. It starts canon adjacent, then non-canon compliant, then canon divergent by the end. NO, the dragons don’t leave… it’s actually much more interesting :)
Chapter Five of Arc One, “Of The Seas And The Sky,” is officially out! You can read it here:
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