decided that i actually couldn't let today go by without something for our favorite dad, so here, have a ficlet:
amazing how the time flies by
tags: pov joel; alternate universe - canon divergence; just enough canon divergence to avoid a game of golf; joel & ellie; reflections on life; sarah mentioned; joel is ellie's parent; no beta we die like david; joel lives
length: ~900-1k words
Getting older wasn't really something Joel had ever put much thought into. There'd always been something more pressing that needed his attention - his little brother, his daughter, his grief. With his grief had come the end of any further desire to live and each year that passed with him alive became something of a surprise until he stopped thinking about it altogether.
But here he was - fifty-nine going on sixty, facing down the possibility of something almost like a birthday party, no matter how much he said he didn't want one. It wasn't necessary, he'd argued, and he didn't want to bring attention to himself on a day that was so terrible for everyone else. On a day that was so terrible for him.
Ellie wanted to give him one though - "Sixty is too big of a number to not fucking acknowledge, dude." - so Joel was getting a birthday party whether he liked it or not.
Tommy had let slip the date back on their first September in Jackson, and Ellie, being the smart kid that she was, had put that together with the blackboard over the fireplace and followed his lead in not acknowledging the day. But the next year he'd gotten a card with a sketch of Old Beardy on the front, the year after that a framed drawing of the Tetons, and then after that a pound of coffee beans. She never actually said Happy Birthday and never handed him the cards and gift directly, always leaving them on the dining table the night before like some weird version of Santa Claus.
But it was still an acknowledgement, and though he and Ellie weren't the most emotionally expressive pair ever, Joel knew what she was saying with all of it.
I'm glad you're still here, you old fucker.
Crazy thing was - he was still glad to be here too. There was a hole in his chest - there would always be one - where Sarah and Tess resided, but every year the edges of it got less ragged. Smoothed out by his brother's laugh, his sister-in-law's wry humor, his nephew's wild excitement, his daughter's ridiculous puns.
He could breathe a little easier each day.
So - Ellie wants to give him a birthday party? Joel's not gonna fight her too hard on it, not like he might have before.
And in the end, it's perfect - Tommy and Maria and TJ and Ellie gathered around the dining table with him, eating Maria's pork chops and swapping town gossip. Ellie had crafted him one of those triangle party hats, and Joel wore it for all of ten minutes before happily passing it off to TJ, pretending he didn't see his kid sticking her tongue out at him as he did.
Tommy pulls out a small bottle of Seth's whiskey and pours a measure each into three glasses, passing one to Joel and one to Maria and ignoring Ellie's protests.
"You think the shit's gross," Joel reminds her, and she rolls her eyes.
"Yeah but it'd still be nice to be included."
"Drinking age is twenty-one," Maria says, hiding her smile behind the rim of her own glass.
Ellie slumps back, crossing her arms over her chest. "You guys are no fuuu-" she cuts herself off, glances over at her cousin, happily absorbed in his toy animals, "-dging fun."
Tommy snorts, shaking his head with a smile. "Alright, well, here's to my brother. Happy birthday, hermano." He lifts his glass in Joel's direction before taking a sip.
"Happy birthday," Maria and Ellie echo, and Joel leans forward to gently knock his glass against his sister-in-law's.
"Thanks y'all." Joel swallows the whiskey, relishing the burn of it down his throat and into his chest where it amplifies the warmth already blossoming there from his family. Four years and he still can't believe there's good whiskey in the world again.
Ellie goes to rummage in the fridge, emerging with a small plate covered in a familiar looking chocolate cake. There's nothing written on top - clearly Seth couldn't be bothered this time - but Ellie sticks a small candle in the top of it after setting it on the table, and lights it.
"We won't sing," she says, nudging his foot with hers, "because we know you hate that shit. But you still gotta make your wish."
Joel blinks, staring at the small, flickering flame in front of him. Tries to think of what he could wish for in a world where every day that he and his family stay happy and healthy is a miracle in and of itself. And really there's nothing more that he could ever ask for.
But everyone's watching him expectantly - even TJ, whose attention has been drawn by the appearance of a sugary treat - so Joel closes his eyes and blows out the candle, unable to help the small smile that tugs at his lips when everyone else applauds.
Tommy takes the lead on cutting the cake, and Ellie drops into the chair closest to Joel, eyeing him. "So what'd you wish for?"
He slings an arm over her shoulders, tugging her a little closer so he can press a kiss to her temple. "For my goddamn knees to stop hurtin'."
Ellie snorts. "Don't think a candle wish is gonna help with that dude, it's because you're fucking old."
"Yeah," Joel replies quietly, watching his nephew clamor for a larger slice of cake than the one he's been handed. "I'm fuckin' old, baby."
For the first time in a long time, he's grateful for it.
title from 'from the jump' by james arthur feat. kelly clarkson
full ficlet collection available on tumblr and ao3
Because I did not know we were going to be able to post today. Shout out to AO3 for being back up so early.
But I know one thing. It's Joel Miller's birthday and we've got fic to post for it!
Under an April Sky - Chapter 4 - FIC COMPLETE - 57k (total)
Slowly, over the next couple weeks, they settle into a routine. Ellie’s Zoloft starts to work and she even manages sleeping alone most nights. She might need the dose adjusted a few times, but she tells him it’s helping and he can see it. Rosie’s two week check-up goes as well as her first. She’s gained more weight, back up to her birth weight, and Ellie makes him high five her in the exam room.
Ellie has a check-up with her OB, too. He stays in the waiting room for that one, but she reports her incision is healing well and apparently her screening results were better at this visit. She’s most surprised about the unexpected flu shot, something apparently she’s never gotten before. He stops at the pharmacy on the way home and gets his own — it’s a good idea with a new baby in the house. Luckily, his TDAP is up to date thanks to a semi-recent cut he ended up needed a couple stitches for.
All in all, things are comfortable.
So of course that’s when Ellie decides to give him a goddamn heart attack.
