#tma personal

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

How time has changed me

Me @120 followers: oh I have the next week of posts queued I can relax now.

Me now @ 930 followers: *screaming and panicked scrambling to produce more content* I only have 170 posts queued! That's not even a whole month of content! *more screaming and hair pulling*

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Step dad: *says he doesn't want anything from Del taco even though he was the one who brought it up*

Me:*gets him a hamburger and three tacos anyway*

Me: *collects his trash after he's eaten* how was it (the food)?

Step dad: it hit the spot.

Me: you're lucky I ignore you and just do want I want.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

I'm so happy

Tomorrow I get to see my best friend for the first time in a year.

[shankss-magnificent-ass]

Personal

I now fully understand the term, "menstrual rage," like before I thought it was just PMS. But no I'm so angry right now I can't fucking sleep, I wanna hit everyone, and everything pissses me off. I legitimately want to fight someone right now...it wouldn't accomplish anything useful other make existence more painful. I hate this. I feel like screaming, crying, and ripping my skin off all at once.

[themusicalassassin]

Hi guys, sorry I've been so inconsistent lately...

But my health is really deteriorating right now...

I'm so exhausted and sleeping all the time, and I have no idea why, and I can't help but be scared about it.  I feel just awful and it's really distracting me, so I hope you understand why I keep disappearing for days at a time- I don't mean to let that happen, but it just does.  Sometimes I start to feel a bit better and I feel up to working on my stuff again, and then it all collapses overnight and I can barely stay awake after having slept for 10 hours straight.

I'm an ovarian cancer survivor, and I've been cancer-free now since April 2011, but the fear of it never ever goes away, and so something strange and unexplained like this, well, I can't help but be freaked out.  Hopefully, it's nothing related to that, just something (relatively) minor caused by my thyroid issues.

I'm seeing several of my doctors soon, though, so hopefully I can get on top of this quickly- I really want to be able to bring you guys lots of great AC4 content from day 1 (and of course continue with new AC3 stuff, as well as AC1-ACR, eventually)

I'm truly sorry, I really hate falling down on running my blog and failing you guys- my Tumblr experience is one of the few things that helps me cope with all this...  But I just wanted to explain what's going on, why I haven't been on here much, and to warn that it might continue until I know exactly what the problem is- and if you could spare a good thought for me, it would mean a lot!   :)

I'm still going to try my best to keep my blog updated as much as I can, and make new stuff when I feel up to it, but if I disappear for a few days here and there, you'll know it's because of all this, not because I've gone anywhere...  In the words of Connor, "I'm not leaving, do you hear me?  I'm NEVER leaving!" :D

You guys are the best!  [hug]

[themusicalassassin]

Ok, got the first cap download posted- I plan for it to be the first of many! They aren't quite the quality of a direct PC capture, but I hope you guys enjoy them and find them useful.  Now, I shall be gone now, since Walking Dead is nearly on, wahoo so excited!!!  :DDD

[themusicalassassin]

Hey guys, now that I have a capture device, I'd be happy to make unedited, no-watermark full size screencaps for use in edits, etc.  It only goes up to 720p, so I can't get the quality or size of madeinmasyaf or assassinforhire, but is that something you guys would like?  I can grab shots in different outfits, or scenes/ characters that aren't usually capped, things of that nature.  Please let me know if you'd find that useful, and if so, what you'd like to see done.    :)

[themusicalassassin]

Oh wow, I'm crying right now- thank you so much for your wonderful messages- you can't know just how much it means to me!

I was never able to complete high school because of these health reasons (so I did the GED thing), and everyone I knew there dropped me like a hot potato because of it- out of sight, out of mind I guess.

But you guys actually care- people I've meet through the internet care more than people I know IRL, it's amazing... I cannot thank you enough!

You are the most wonderful people on the planet, truly- I've been very alone for a long time, but I don't feel alone anymore, and it's a gift most precious to me.

Thank you!