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The Man in Tights: an Elf AU

(COMPLETE) [Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3] >Part 4< [Part 5]

Almost there - here's You Make Me Feel So Young to play in the background later. (Like the movie? Like the movie.) The last part will just be short and more like an epilogue, really.

Kurt can't help but watch the clock as his shift goes on, even though it seems to have stopped completely. Work isn't distracting him well enough, nothing is, but eventually there are only twenty minutes left until he's free to leave. He decides to take his chances; he could use all the time he can get.

"Sebastian!"

Sebastian turns in the massage chair where he's been surveying the store and looks at Kurt, surprised.

"There's nothing important that isn't covered by anyone else right now," Kurt says, walking up to him. "Is it alright if I leave early?"

"Why?" Sebastian asks, appearing suspicious.

"I have a date." Kurt smiles in spite of himself at the thought of Blaine waiting for him just outside. "I want to have some time to make myself presentable."

"Whatever, go ahead," Sebastian says with a sigh. His signature smirk is gone, replaced by forced neutrality, and Kurt isn't sure why. "I'll cover for you if something comes up."

"Thank you so much," Kurt says, but he tilts his head to the side and watches Sebastian, who doesn't seem to want to meet his gaze. "Is something wrong?"

"Forget it, Hummel." Sebastian slumps back in the chair, a hand on his face. "I can't find a job, it's no big deal," he says quietly, mostly to himself.

"But-"

"I know what you're thinking," Sebastian snaps, finally looking at Kurt right in the eyes. "But I don't have the best track record, okay? It doesn't matter what I look like or how persuasive I can be, I can't get a 'respectable' job." He says it in a mocking, deep tone.

"What's wrong with working at... I don't know-"

"A strip club? A bar?"

"Well, yes," Kurt says. He may not be the sort of person to go for those jobs, but he understands the appeal and - sometimes - the necessity of taking on such occupations.

"Nothing. I'd be happy to do it, except I'd be cut off by my dad."

"So you wouldn't be able to keep up your easy, comfortable quality of life." Kurt can't keep his tone from coming out a bit acidic, bitter because he's been on his own for three years now and has had to deal with plenty of problems with expenses.

"Don't you get it? I'm useless in the real world. I'm a good fuck and a pretty face, but that's about it." Sebastian stands up then, turning away from Kurt and apparently regretting his confession.

"Sebastian-"

"Just leave it, Princess. Your Prince Charming is probably waiting." With that, Sebastian's gone, disappearing into the cutlery section. Kurt dithers on the spot, debating whether or not to follow. He decides it's best to leave Sebastian alone - for the moment - as he hurries to the locker room to change.

--

His hair isn't a complete loss for once, which is great considering he's just worn the elf hat for hours on end. Kurt takes that as a good sign as he heads for the door, pushing it open and letting the city noises wash over him before he's suddenly engulfed in a massive hug.

"Wh- Blaine?"

"I'm so glad you're here," Blaine says, pulling away and looking at Kurt. "Wow."

"What is it?" Kurt panics internally as he wonders what's wrong - does he have something on his face, is his hair actually not as fantastic as he thinks, is-

"You look... wow." It seems like it's all Blaine can say, his eyes wide and Kurt finally realizes why he thought the girl's eyes from the day before were familiar - they had been the same bright, clear hazel color as Blaine's.

"I could say the same to you," Kurt says teasingly, looking Blaine up and down for the first time and noticing that he's no longer wearing his elf attire. Instead, he's in a sleek dark jacket, a maroon scarf, and a grey winter cap with black stripes. "You're pretty toned down today."

"Most of this is my dad's stuff," Blaine says as he looks down at himself. "The hat is Mike's, though."

"I thought I recognized it. Well, shall we get going?"

"Oh! Yeah, just follow me," Blaine says, grinning and holding his hand out for Kurt to take.

They walk down the sidewalk hand-in-hand for a while, Blaine practically skipping in anticipation next to Kurt, who can't seem to fight off the smile that appears every time he looks at that idiot next to him. That cute, sweet, genuinely kind idiot. When they pass by a window display for a men's clothing store, Blaine comes to a stop.

"Mike told me these are bow ties," he says, peering into the window at the shelves. "I want to have some one day. I could wear a different one every day of the month!"

"That's a lot of bow ties," Kurt says, laughing. "But I think you'd look good in them."

"Really?"

"Well, to be honest, I'm pretty sure you could look good in just about anything."

"Even nothing?' Kurt stares at him for a moment, stuttering as that particular image comes to mind. Blaine is completely oblivious - he's actually curious and not at all thinking about what Kurt can't stop thinking about.

"Y-yes, I'm sure even then," he finally says, sure that he's blushing fiercely in such a way that he can't just blame it on the chill of the wind. It's not that he's totally inexperienced - he's had a couple of short relationships and a drunken one-night stand - but around Blaine he feels like he's back to high school crushes and overactive imaginations. He decides to change the subject. "Um, was there somewhere you wanted to go?"

"Yeah, we're almost there." Blaine hums as they continue on their way, drawing stares as he pulls Kurt into a sudden twirl in the middle of the sidewalk, both of them nearly knocking over an irritated-looking woman talking on her phone. "Okay, close your eyes."

"Is this a kidnapping?" Kurt asks, smiling.

"Do you trust me?"

Kurt finds himself answering without hesitation, "Yes, of course," and it scares him a little bit how readily he trusts Blaine, considering how little they really know each other. Especially considering the fact that Blaine thinks he was raised by real, honest-to-God elves. But one look at Blaine's exuberant smile, the way his dark curls are just peeking out from underneath his hat, his expressive eyes, and Kurt's inhibitions are gone as he closes his eyes.

A second later, he's being pulled blindly into a building. He instantly recognizes the smell of the place and grins, but he doesn't say anything. Blaine sits him down at a small table and whispers, "I'll be right back."

Kurt shakes his head and resists the urge to peek, even though he has a pretty good idea of where they are. He relaxes as he listens to the buzz of chatter around him, leaning back in his chair. It isn't long before footsteps alert him to Blaine's return, and one of his hands is grabbed and guided gently to the tabletop in front of him. Blaine places a cup in his hand.

"Try it," he says excitedly. Kurt obligingly brings the cup to his mouth, eyes still shut tight, and takes a careful sip.

"Wait," he says, his eyes opening in surprise. "Is this-"

"Your favorite nonfat caramel mocha from your favorite lunch break coffeeshop?" Blaine grins, pleased with himself. "I made friends with Jeff the other day," he adds, pointing up at the counter where, sure enough, a tall, blonde-haired guy that Kurt has spoken to on occasion is watching them. He waves at them, laughing when Blaine waves back animatedly.

"You have a knack for finding my friends and using them against me," Kurt comments, taking another sip. "I'm definitely not complaining, though."

"Good, because I never want to stop seeing that smile on your face," Blaine says casually. Kurt opens his mouth, but doesn't - can't - say anything. Instead, he reaches across the table and takes Blaine's hand, holding it tightly.

"I don't care if you came from the North Pole or from the depths of hell," Kurt says. "I don't think I've ever met a guy as perfect as you." Blaine looks down bashfully, absently rubbing Kurt's thumb where their fingers are intertwined.

"I'm not perfect," he says quietly, shaking his head. "I don't fit in at the North Pole, but I don't fit in here either. My real dad doesn't even want me around, I can tell." Kurt bites his lip, searching for the right thing to say.

"Well, you're perfect to me," he says. "And I have a pretty high bar. Your dad will come around, it's probably a bit of a shock to have his long-lost son suddenly appear on his doorstep." And say he's just come from the North Pole and he was raised by Papa Elf, Kurt thinks, but he keeps that to himself.

Blaine squeezes his hand in reply, smiling softly. He tilts his head and says, "What song is this?" Kurt listens to the music for a few seconds and recognizes it, huffing out a laugh.

"Strange song to play in a coffeeshop," he scoffs. "It's Teenage Dream, by Katy Perry." He peers around Blaine to look at Jeff, raising his eyebrow as he points to one of the speakers. "Really?" he mouths at him. Jeff just shrugs as he washes out a ceramic mug, swaying to the beat.

"Hm. I like it," Blaine hums, tapping his knee as he listens. It isn't long before he catches on to the chorus and is murmuring it softly as he watches Kurt finish off his coffee. "I like this singer," he says once the song is over.

"Personally, I prefer P!nk, if we're talking female pop artists," Kurt says. "I'll have to have you listen to my music sometime so you can get caught up on the times."

"I look forward to it." Blaine looks like Christmas has already arrived as they stand up to leave, Kurt leading the way this time.

"I think you'll like what I have in mind," he says, tugging Blaine out the door and across the street.

--

They don't get to where Kurt wants to go immediately, as they keep getting distracted by the sights and sounds of New York. Kurt hasn't felt so happy to be in the city since he first moved from Lima three years ago, and he has Blaine's pure excitement and awe to thank for that. They act like a pair of tourists as they walk down the streets, occasionally exploring a shop or a bakery. At one point, Blaine pulls Kurt with him as he skips down a less crowded avenue, both of them laughing and Kurt no longer caring that his hair is getting disheveled by the wind rushing past them.

It's starting to get dark when they finally reach their destination: Bryant Park. Kurt rents two pairs of skates, aware that Blaine doesn't exactly have money - he'd admitted to Kurt that Jeff had given them the coffee free of charge, mostly because Jeff seems to be quite supportive of the two.

"That's a beautiful tree," Blaine says when Kurt returns to their bench with the skates in hand. "I don't think I've ever seen a bigger one."

"Remind me to take you to Rockefeller Center sometime," Kurt says, tying his skates on. "That's an impressive tree."

Somehow, Kurt isn't surprised to find that Blaine could be a professional skater from the way he skates around Kurt in circles. "Do you want me to teach you how to do a spin?" he asks, demonstrating one unnecessarily.

"No thanks, I'd like to stay out of the hospital," Kurt says, rolling his eyes fondly. "C'mere, you can win a gold medal for figure skating later." Blaine skids to a stop next to Kurt, letting him link their arms together.

As they skate lazily around the rink, ignoring the people around them, Kurt hears Let It Snow playing softly and smiles. This time he's the one to start singing quietly, Blaine soon catching on and joining in. By the time the song is over and many more have gone by, they're exhausted.

"So you don't have limitless energy, hm?" Kurt says, nudging Blaine's shoulders playfully as they take their skates off.

"Hey, I'm not actually an elf," Blaine says in response, sticking his tongue out at Kurt. "I'm just a human."

"No, you're Blaine Anderson," Kurt says, having learned his last name earlier. "A holiday-loving, sugar-obsessed gentleman. And I'm enjoying every bit of that."

"Really?" Blaine looks a bit self-conscious; it's only then that Kurt realizes this is probably his first date, at least with a human like himself. Hold on, did I just indirectly admit that there are really elves?

Kurt shakes his head to himself after assuring Blaine that yes, he really is enjoying it. He can figure all that out later. For now, he's just happy to be with Blaine as they wander away from the park, Blaine absently humming something that sounds a lot like Teenage Dream.

--

"Kurt, why aren't you here?" a loud voice practically screeches through the phone, making Kurt flinch. "We're having so much fun!"

"I'm sorry Rach, but I don't want to spend Christmas Eve getting drunk with a bunch of theater assholes," he replies. "Not you, everyone else," he adds hastily, before Rachel can get too offended.

"Well, your loss then," she says, her words slurring just slightly. "I'll call you in the morning!"

"I look forward to it," Kurt says, finally hanging up. He's not sure why Rachel Berry isn't spending Christmas with her dads, but at least he'll have the satisfaction of saying "I told you so" when she calls him to complain about her massive hangover.

He makes some of his favorite hot cocoa - unwilling to pass on that Hummel family tradition despite not being at home to share it - before settling on the couch in his apartment. He tries not to feel too lonely; Blaine had given him his dad's home number (not owning a cell phone himself), but no one had answered it all day long.

Maybe they've settled their differences and are spending a nice family holiday together, he reasons, turning on the TV. Or maybe I've just been making all this up in my head.

Kurt sighs and resigns himself to watching the news since he's not feeling particularly motivated enough to get up and find a movie to watch. There's something strange going on at Central Park, but Kurt doesn't really pay much attention. It's New York - there's always something weird happening.

However, he nearly drops his mug when he sees a familiar figure on the screen, dressed in green and red. Is that...?

Before he knows it, Kurt's pulling on a jacket over his sweater and bursting out of the room, just barely remembering to lock the door before bolting down the hallway.

If Blaine's in trouble, Kurt is determined to find a way to help him - even if it means doing something crazy like saving Christmas itself. Of course, that's the stuff of children's stories and cheesy Christmas rom-coms.

Or is it?

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