#to andi

[windphone]

Mothers' Day is coming up.

It's rough every year, but I think moreso this year.

[windphone]

Missing you.

I'm up early, seeing the sunrise and hearing the birds.

And missing you.

[windphone]

Dear Andi,

Missed you so much the other day. I had lunch with your kiddo. Fried cheese and chicken salad with Ranch dressing. I wish so much you could have been there.

I hope you can see what a fun person C's turned out to be, head full of ideas.

My 53rd birthday is coming up. I'd love to go out to lunch again. I really never imagined that I'd get here without you.

[windphone]

Andi,

Thinking about you today. I'm going to turn 53, and you're not here. It breaks my heart that I don't have any pictures of us together. So many years, spending all our time together. We took pictures of the kids, but never thought to take one of us.

[windphone]

... hi, mom.

there's a song i really like. i can't remember if i ever got to show you, In Iolite.

it has a few lyrics i always focus on

give it one more day

and give it one more year

a thousand yesterdays

a thousand more will come your way

are here to stay

and it's been something over 6 years since the song - the english version - released. a thousand yesterdays, and thousand more.

on april 11th of this year, it will have been a thousand yesterdays since you didn't answer my texts.

i'm going to make a time capsule. ive always thought about that - i've never had good memory, even before i knew about my DID, my system (you never got to know the rest of us) - and i thought it'd be nice to write down some things. i'll keep doing it, on the thousand day interval.

we never finished listening to high noon over camelot. you never got to meet the people i hope to live with once we all get our health in order and can move out. you never got to see our friend's new house, i think.

i'm sorry.

i love you

Love you so much

[shadocast]

[shadocast]