Garret,
I've spent every hour trying to think how to write this. Words don't spill from me with the effortlessness they did with you. I shouldn't care so much. This isn't art. This isn't poetry. Do pleas need to be beautifully worded? I don't think so, but this time I'd prefer to hide behind the formalities of tender phrases I should have told you in person.
But it's pointless.
I can only keep up the act for so long. I'd eventually revert back to the mess I've been since you've left. I go home and I knock at the door but you don't answer. I wake up at night and you're not there and I tell myself you're in another room. Just beyond the door. And I guess that's true, but now you're behind a door that I can't open and even if I did I know you wouldn't be there waiting for me. You said you couldn't exist without me. Then why did you have to go? You never thought the same was true for me? Because it is. It is. It was true for you and it's true for me and now I don't know how I possibly can- I'm sorry.
I'm getting off track. I'm writing this because I wanted to beg you not to forget us. Please. Please don't forget the things we did. Please don't forget what we had. Even if you can only remember the worst, I don't care. The memory of us existing together in some way is all I ask because I know that's the only way we can be together. Please remember us. Please remember me.
Please.
...is what wanted to say. Wanted. By the time I penned this, I realized how wrong I was. That's not what I want. That's not what I could ever ask of you. Please don't spend your next life, or the one after that, or the one after that, chasing a memory of someone you'll never know again.
Please just be happy next time.
That's all.
-Valin
✉️