OG!Luo Binghe getting a reality check and stealth-marrying Yan Ruizhi is my jam and I’m sorry that I haven’t been screaming about it from a rooftop before now. Honestly, I just picture yrx being just as oblivious to the fact they’re pretty much married for CENTURIES while lbh is thrilled with his life now as a househusband amid the various revenge plots and bs caused by lbh’s protagonist halo. Sqq and Bingmei meeting Bingge and Ruizhi, realizing that Bingge is the original goods is bound to be hilarious.
lbh latching on like a clingy octopus is an incredibly hilarious mental image. after a few centuries pass, yrz is like...... at least the food is good. their little house is probably the safest place in the world because by this point yrz did his thing and became super overpowered and learned all sorts of wards because he got sick of the bullshit lbh tracked in after him every damn day. not even the plot can get at lbh there, tbh.
lbh is living his dream, taking care of the various animals they’ve acquired from somewhere, cooking for his wife (his wife!!!! his!!!! wife!!!!!!!), going on various trips with yrz for spice, just living out all his domestic dreams.
then one day, the sky cracks open and bing mei and sqq fall out of it, right onto binge's prize-winning cabbage-patch kids*.
yrz:.... why are there two lbhs.
lbg and lbm: *spiderman meme* it’s you!
sqq:.....fucking protagonist halos
yrz: oh shit, you too? *in English* bro.
sqq: !!!! bro!!!!
sqq and yrz: *bond over books and dealing with plot bullshit*
lbg: this feels dangerous.
lbm: shizun! shizun don’t talk to her so much, I'm right here, wu wu wu, don’t look at anyone else while i’m right here, don’t ignooooore meeeee.
yrz backs right up at lbm’s shamelessness attitude. she also gets a little nauseous at that face making that expression.
yrz, grabbing at lbg’s arm: holy shit. i’m so glad i got you instead. if you ever try to pull that attitude i’ll kill you. don’t do it. stay the way you are.
lbg: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(*cabbage-patch kids are, of course, cabbages that can grow children. what, like sqh was going to just reject a perfectly good rip off of baby-making methods for infertile wives???)
(why is lbg growing them? because shut up. shut up is why.)