#toad.onion

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Spider Lilies

The second track to pop is Spider Lilies. This one made me smile because it's a lot simpler to grasp at 7:00am on your commute to work. It's the longest of the tracks, at over 5 minutes, and is tuneful, musical, and otherworldly. I might play it as background music during the cake-cutting at my birthday in a few weeks.

There are no lyrics to analyze this time; just sounds. Despite a music background, I'm going to be bad at guessing synthetic instrument sounds here, sorry. The tones that open are a bit of a bell-like piano sound? Arpeggiated, with a pedal point pattern, IIRC from music theory. This is what gives it the sort of haunting foundation over which everything else plays out.

Then there are metallic, sort of knifey sounds – think Billie Eilish's You Should See Me In A Crown – and some horn-like, sax-like bits that keep the vibes going. But what positively sends me is that at two minutes, vocals burst onto the scene.

The Vocal Stylings of Toad

Here's the thing about the members of Toad: they can sing like angels. They have a song where they sound like the Sundays, for God's sake. I have no idea how much formal vocal training either of them might have had, but I wouldn't be surprised to hear they'd each had years of it.

Maybe it's because I'm old that I think it's strange to exhibit this level of skill at traditional singing as well as screaming and weirdness. My oldest son definitely wasn't surprised when I played him a bit of their most delicate work. He said, "even when he's screaming, you can hear how he's doing every little thing exactly how he wants to." Which is true.

In my son's mind, there's no reason this precision can't translate over into any other type of singing, I guess, and kudos to him. Personally, I don't know whether I was surprised that they could, or surprised that they would, or surprised that they might exhibit such a diversity of styles and sounds while still calling themselves the same thing? I have no idea. But I love it. It's one of the best things about them.

Here, the singer – I think Bunny – loads his voice up with a kind of honking quality. Like an extended honking. And there's a vuvuzela sound that's intermittent. And they intertwine. How much is bunny? How much is vuvuzela? Is any of it not Bunny? I have no idea.

And there's a chorus of voices behind him. My brain labelled it "Bunny's Angelic Choir." Sometimes it's the soundtrack to my whole day.

I love it.

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Turkish Delite

This was the first track that popped up when I went to Toad's YouTube page, and they were starting out strong in terms of challenging my tastes, if we were to go by TITLE ALONE.

Not that we would. I'm grown. Right?

<aside>...so I've had a grudge against Turkish Delight since my early 20's. I'm a very food-centric person. I couldn't get it out of my head since The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe.

And then when I got some, it was so. disappointing.

But it has been almost 30 years, maybe it's time to give it another shot.</aside>

The Song

Most of these tracks don't have lyrics, at least discernible ones. This one's the exception. It's just a circussy, carnival rhythm and a deep, distorted voice speaking the sometimes-rhyming words:

Jelly chew

Delite

Served as a treat with coffee and tea

Turkish delite

Uh-oh pistachio

Yummy little treat

Soft like a jelly chew

??? little sweet

Powdered sugar residue

It might break into a little singing here and there. There's definitely a burst into melody at the very end, when (I think?) Weasel repeats:

Get 'em gone

Get 'em gone

Get 'em gone

Get 'em gone

Get 'em get 'em get 'em get 'em gone

(nearly operatic) Get them goooooone

**burst of vocal fry**

This last bit – this is the part that really won me over. I'd been smiling for most of the song, but this is so much like me stimming in my kitchen that I felt deeply connected to the piece in that moment, and it's just one minute and 52 seconds.

Stimming Like a Linguistic Weirdo

Here's what makes this like my autistic stimming:

Old-timey wording

Clumsy, uncommon permutations

Singing

Increasing drama (for me, usually for humor value)

Sometimes I like to swear like a sailor; sometimes I like to skew old-timey. I once unironically told a theater employee that "hooliganism is on the rise in the balcony" because some kids were being noisy during a movie.

And whatever else is going on, linguistically, I just love to play with it until it seems funnier and funnier. Can I make the wording more unlikely? Incredibly stilted? Can I make it sound like Ranier Wolfcastle? (Up and at them!) Can I sing it to an overwrought, dramatic tune? Like Pavarotti?

For all I know, Weasel (Bunny?) wasn't trying to be funny at all. But they made me smile so. big. that day.

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6 New Tracks

I realized kind of late in the game that Toad was releasing multiple new songs this past Thursday (two days ago). Somehow I thought it was a short-form video piece that was coming? IDK.

In any case, it's 6 new tracks that they refer to as "experimental." Which I think is definitely fair, after a listen. I've got a lot of thoughts track by track, but I'll get to that. To hear them all yourself, you can find them on their YouTube page. Other social media too, that's just where I typically go.

Experimental Schmerimental

So I don't have history of respecting experimental music. But I don't have a history of a lot of what's happening with me this year.

I've been undergoing specific, intensive therapy to treat complex, long-term trauma that caused symptoms and thought patterns which stubbornly refused to budge. I've been in talk therapy on and off for decades. This new round was multimodal, but mostly EMDR.

The thing about it being, I've come to see that many things I had disrespect or disdain for, I did so as a defensive reaction. And as old things healed up and stopped taking up brainspace, new and healthy and interesting stuff began to just – appear.

This is how I've come to be a multimedia artist out of the blue, and apparently now a fan of experimental music.

Now it's time to indulge in some more autistic joy and go analyze these tracks some more.

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This - fucking - GODLESS HELLSITE I SWEAR -

The other day I composed a whole post about Weasel's marionettes - he put up photos of their construction - and I hit post.

Came back later there was NOTHING.

OK. OK, I was angry. But I have ADHD and I'm used to assuming things are my fault.

But oh, no. No, today I go on my art Tumblr and I realize I never posted ANYTHING AT ALL about the piece I just finished that I've been working on since FEBRUARY.

So I put it all in one post, with progressional photos and everything, explaining how tiny each of his little horns are and each is made of teeny tiny pieces of Jupiter photos -

Post it -

"The network is flaking out right now."

THAT'S THE ERROR MESSAGE THEY GIVE ME.

Drafts? NO. Just GONE.

So, sorry, onionmusic boys. I will be back with more posts later, but tonight I am TOO MAD.

(They probably have yet to even find the message that I'm posting this page, LOL)