#toadvent

[monochromatictoad]

I'm at work anbd I feel sick and my head is pounfing through my skill and I want to go home but I canf because were midding 3 people at wofk alreayf so thei wong send me home

[toadagere]

I'm kinda glad this blog never took off, because now I can vent without worrying if my moots see it. I would be more stressed if I was stressing them out. I already panic if I see my name tagged in the group chat, and I know that's not a normal thing to feel, but I can't help it right now.

I don't want to be a burden or problem for them.

[toadagere]

Me: Maybe I should mention something in the discord vent channel about my spiraling mental health

Chat: *currently talking about a friend and her situation rn*

My brain: if you say anything about what's going on, you'll look like a selfish prick and everyone will drop you as a friend, you'll be kicked out of the discord and everyone will block you on Tumblr. And you don't want to be alone again do you? No. You don't. So don't say shit, because no one wants to hear your attention seeking, your friends have real issues, and your spiral is not a real issue, it's a personal failure on your part. Shut up and keep it locked up. You cannot break character. You Cannot Break Character.

[monochromatictoad]

Probably won't have my wifi back on until tomorrow, so now I have to go to bed, serenaded by the sound of fireworks, because I can't put anything on, because I don't get good service at the apartment in the first place.

[monochromatictoad]

I love how, when one thing goes wrong for me, everything goes wrong.

[monochromatictoad]

I wish my brain would let me relax for once

[monochromatictoad]

All I did today was build Legos. I'm so hungry, but it's so hot out and I have nothing cold I can make. I don't even want to turn on my oven because it's hot.

But I don't get paid until Wednesday, so I can't get groceries, and I can't waste gas.

[monochromatictoad]

How do people clean things and keep them clean?

My counters are always covered in shit and I don't know what to do. I've been trying to do small sections at a time, but i lose motivation and energy so quickly.