As you get older , you may realize that soul searching in life is a continuous process , you do it to learn more of what in life fulfills you , gain interests , expand your mind and I think that's what excites me about living . When I'm stressing about the smallest things i sometimes have to think there's so much more to life than wtf I'm complaining or harboring on ... Negative things in life just takes so much energy that will drain you and can possibly change you ... I don't want to be an angry person with so much on my mind that literally causes me to have anxiety and it just isn't worth your mental or physical health . After visiting home for the weekend I had a good time with loved ones but while being there I just was very observant of my surroundings as I always am . I saw that I'm not on the same level mentally as others such as friends , my interests in certain things have changed , my interest in being in certain places have changed , I use my logic and think of consequences because I know I have to much to lose and I value more than most do. What also made me realize it was just some of the things that my friends were saying like oh you don't drive like you used to you used to be whippin hard and I had to explain well when you move to a state where there are fatal accidents everywhere you go and you've had speeding tickets that you've been to jail over shit kinda puts things into perspective and I'm not saying I'm the perfect driver now but I'm a lot more aware and knowing that I'm not invincible , and no I don't wanna go to the hood and post up and smoke with some random niggas I don't know , no I don't care to hang around people who don't want to work and depend on the kids dad or the government to take care of them with no ambition .... Niggas wrecking up they're cars behind drunk driving and some more irresponsible shit that I'm just not and never have been with ... So shit if I move differently than you then let me keep moving cause I want better for myself ... I'm not trying to stay in the struggle , and this reminded me of why I decided to move because I wanted a change and to see something different along with a challenge to help me grow ... I'm turning 24 next week and I see the overall change in myself just from last year ... I'm a lot more level headed (most times) and business minded . I'm not even into "having Hoes" as my generation calls it .... I'm honestly good with being to myself and seeking out new ventures by my lonesome , it's a lot more peaceful that way .
