you've always known toji zen'in possessed an ugly, monstrous sort of insecurity when it came to his earnings—something peevish and defensive whenever he realized he couldn’t simply hand you the world on a silver platter.
and you know the exact, fragile topography of your husband's pride. so when he slides a ring onto your finger out of nowhere, you force your expression to remain perfectly, deceptively smooth.
it’s a miserable piece of junk, honestly, and genuinely ugly to look at. a cheap, lightweight band that’s slightly lopsided against your knuckle. the color is a dead, tarnished grey paired with a flat, lumpy smear of fake gold right at the center where a gem should be. the whole thing looks poorly cast, already oxidizing into a dull, leaden hue that will definitely leave a faint green on your skin within an hour.
“what is this, toji? where did you get it from?”
a cold spike of disgust flares in your throat, closely followed by a wave of overwhelming sadness that threatens you to break into tears right now and then. but you swallow both down, burying them deep beneath a constructed facade of self-control. you wouldn't let a single flicker of disappointment wash over your face. to show even a hint of pity would be to wound a beast that didn't know how to bleed without tearing everything down around it.
your voice is soft and low-pitched deliberately like a mother coaxing a child. it’s the exact, unbearable tone toji heard you use on megumi whenever his gums got red and swollen from teething, fat tears rolling down his chubby cheeks. it is a soothing hum; meant to pacify a wild animal like him.
and that knowledge makes toji grit his teeth so hard it hurts.
“it’s a ring, obviously,” he grunts, emerald eyes tracking a grease stain on the wallpaper just to avoid seeing the precise moment the regret settles behind your eyes—the realization that you’ve gone and tied your life to a jobless, useless piece of shit who can’t even buy his wife something decent. “just... thought it would be nice.”
“ah... thank you, my love. that’s so nice of you,” tilting your hand, you examine the warped, lopsided little band on your finger. a sad, quiet smile touches your lips, your eyes full of warmth—a sight toji knows for a fact he hasn’t earned, doesn’t deserve, and has no earthly right to keep. “i’ll keep it close.”
and that’s the breaking point, apparently.
you watch your husband actively fight back a choke-hold of pure shame and self-loathing, the sudden realization of his own inadequacy pressing down on his chest until he can’t breathe. his eyes are glassy now—a torturous heat he last felt on the morning megumi was born, when he looked at his father with those huge, empty eyes for the first time.
toji doesn’t say anything else. he just walks right out of the kitchen and pulls the front door shut behind him.
back to the streets. back to the horse tracks and the dirty, blood-slicked contracts, where he can disappear and leave you alone with your toddler son for days on end.
comments and reblogs are appreciated! follow me too if you want :)
also thank you guys so much for over 300 notes on nerd!eren!!
Toji got that bum dick... ya know that dick that’s so good that it makes you forgot the fact that this man is crashing at your place and driving your car around when you're at work
"i got a job interview tomorrow" he tells you one day when you come home from working a double. you're still standing by the door, taking your shoes off.
you roll your eyes, sighing deeply because this is the 6th interview toji had this month and this was probably going to be the 6th job that he didnt get. at this point your convinced that he doesn't have any real interviews and that he just uses your car to drive around with his equally bummy ass friends.
"thats good toji" you have to force yourself to sound somewhat happy when you reply.
"yeah. missed you today" he tells you wrapping his arms around your waist, letting his lips press into yours. he picks you up effortlessly, your legs instantly wrapping around his waist as he walks you towards your bedroom.
any thought you had about how he wasn't good for anything but sleeping in your bed and eating all your food is gone the moment he swipes his tip over your sticky folds, letting it nudge at your clit a couple of times before he's pushing into your tight walls.
"tight ass pussy" he groans as he fucks into you, your walls squeezing him tightly
"harder" you moan out and toji obeys, fucking into you faster and harder, the sound of skin slapping against skin bounces off the walls.
toji brings his hand down to rub fast hard cirlces on your messy clit, hissing at the way your walls seem to get even tighter around his length as you cum, a white ring forming around the base of his cock.
he pulls out ignoring your whines and pleas as he lets his tongue swipe through your puffy folds, cleaning away every drop of cum that remains on your pretty pussy.
toji slips his dick back into your cunt, picking up his pace once again as your mouth opens and loud moans escape. toji keeps pounding into you, tip hitting your sweet spot over and over again. it doesnt take long for your second orgasm to approach.
he waits until you've gone dumb on his dick to open his mouth and ask the question that he's been holding in for hours.
"gonna let me use your car to go to my interview tomorrow?"
an- listen I know he’s a killer but its canon there a soft side to him, and I love playing on small soft sides shown in characters like him,
An- HAPPY ONE YEAR TO MY ACCOUNT, I'm so happy y'all have given me a platform to keep writing for one year, thank you to all my followers and may we make it another year.
tw- lmk
Resting on his bare chest is how almost every morning starts your small hand resting on him made Toji look at you in awe. He questions how a one night stand turned into a soft morning route. On days were you woke up before him you’d always go sneak out of the room and make something to eat for the both of you He always enjoys seeing you in his shirt in the morning, how much he loved seeing you in it a memory he savors every time. But on days like this Toji is worried he’ll wake you up if he moves you off of him so he just admires your sleeping figure or tries to sleep more. Tho on mornings like these were falling back asleep seems impossible he just holds you closer. Seeing how peaceful you look in your sleep makes Toji fall alittle harder and question what exactly you see in him. It makes him look at every wrong path he took and how it made him land up here. Though I guess the answer doesn't matter much to him especially with soft hours like these he's able to understand one thing and it's that he'll hold you close forever.
