toji finds you crying in the bathroom about your postpartum body ♡
⊱ ۫ ׅ✧ m.list
quiet sobs escape you as you stand bare in front of the bathroom mirror, observing your new body after pregnancy.
you knew pregnancy would change you — both emotionally and physically. that was a given. but you never expected to loathe yourself so much afterwards, to face the mirror and barely recognise yourself.
more quiet sobs slip out as you run your fingers over your now soft tummy, no longer flat and firm, littered with stretch marks.
your eyes trail further up, taking notice of your puffy nipples, still sore from nursing, scattered with blue and purple veins.
for the first time in your life, you hated yourself. you quickly went from quietly sobbing to full on bawling once you began to imagine what toji must think of you.
then, the bathroom door swings open.
toji catches sight of your red, puffy eyes, cheeks stained with tears, his expression immediately softening. you quickly reach for a towel, trying to hide your new body from him until he steps closer, placing two hands on your hips.
"why’s my girl cryin’, hm?" he asks, his thumbs circling your hips reassuringly. “don’t look at me, i’m disgusting," you sniffle in response, turning your face to look away from him.
almost instantly after, he moves one hand from your hip, cupping your cheek and turning you back to face him, wiping a stray tear from your cheek.
"don’t ever say that shit again, ya’ hear? toji says, his voice softer than usual, almost breaking a little from the thought of you hating yourself this much.
"m’sorry," you sob, leaning your forehead against his chest, wetting his shirt with your tears.
he presses a tender kiss to the top of your head, then tilts your chin back up with two fingers so that you’re looking at him. "even more beautiful than the day i met you."
he crouches down slowly, face now level with your tummy. he holds your thighs gently as he kisses you there, then presses his lips to each stretch mark, each one a reminder of the happiness you brought into the world.
"all mine," he mutters, kissing his way up your body, reaching your breasts.
he kisses each nipple, making your breath hitch, your tears beginning to stop flowing from your eyes. “love these tits even more now," he says, gently grasping both swollen mounds, careful he doesn’t cause you any discomfort.
you’d never seen him this gentle, this patient. your hand finds his hair, fingers threading through the black strands. “just wanna be perfect for you," you sniffle.
he stands again, pulling you gently against his chest. "always perfect f’me. always will be."
you wrap your arms around toji’s waist, hugging him tightly like you’re scared to let go.
“cmon, let’s get y’into bed. atta girl," he says, encouraging your arms around his shoulders, legs around his waist as he carries you to bed with ease.
a gentle reminder that no matter how much you weigh, or how much your body changes, it made no difference to him.
he lays you down onto the bed, climbing in next to you before tugging you onto his chest. “love you so much," you whisper, settling against him as he pulls the sheets over you both.
late-night guilt drives toji to confess his fears about fatherhood to your unborn baby.
you moan softly as you unclasp your bra, finally freeing your sore breasts from the day’s grip. the cotton material is tossed carelessly onto the small chair next to the bed in your shared room with your husband, toji. the relief that washes over your body is instantaneous, though your thoughts quickly wander, as they always do, to him.
maybe he’s still out dealing with work? at a bar, having drinks with his friends? your chest tightens slightly at the idea, but you shake it off just as quickly. you trust him; you’ve always trusted him.
still, the week has been rough on you. the pregnancy hasn’t been easy, with nausea all morning and cramps that left you aching by the evening. toji had been there when he could, but he worked late most nights, and tonight, you couldn’t really bring yourself to wait up for him.
“where did i- oh,” you sigh as your eyes catch the glass of water sitting perfectly on your nightstand. he must’ve left it for you earlier, a quiet reminder of how much he cared even when he wasn’t around.
you down it quickly, the cool liquid soothing your body as you carefully lower yourself onto the bed, mindful not to hurt your growing belly. once fully settled, you bite your lip, stretching lazily before grabbing your phone to send him a text.
hey, babe. i’m going to bed early. i left dinner out for you. make sure you eat, okay? <3
you wait for a reply, but none ever comes. no read receipt, nothing. you feel your hormones creeping up on you again, that familiar ache settling in your chest before you force it down with a quiet prayer, letting your eyes flutter shut as you cling to the pillow that still smells faintly of him.
toji, meanwhile, is just pulling into the driveway, the clock on his dashboard reading 12:13 am. he exhales sharply, running a hand through his dark hair before stepping out of the car. guilt is etched into every corner of his mind, weighing down his broad shoulders as he unlocks the door to your shared home.
he’d broken another promise— again.
“idiot,” he mutters to himself under his breath, slipping inside the house as quietly as possible. his feet lead him toward the kitchen, where his gaze softens at the sight of the dinner you’d left him; steaming food paired with his favorite drink, and scrawled in sauce on the side of the plate? ‘i love you.’
he curses quietly under his breath but eats every bite, savoring each mouthful before heading upstairs. the ache in his chest grows heavier with every step closer to the bedroom, and when he opens the door, the sight of you curled up peacefully makes his stomach twist.
the room is dimly lit, but even in the faint light, he can see your baby bump peeking through your loose shirt, his pillow tucked securely under your head.
he looks at you like he always does— with reverence, affection, and guilt.
toji moves quietly to change, his work clothes swapped for a pair of pajama bottoms, his strong chest left bare. once ready, he slides into bed carefully, sinking into the mattress beside you.
“hey, princess,” he whispers, his large hand reaching out to gently rest on the swell of your belly. “and hey, little one,” he adds softly, his lips brushing a kiss to your covered bump.
your body stirs slightly at his movements, but you don’t wake right away, so toji lets himself linger, his face pressed against your belly as he speaks in a voice too soft for you to comprehend fully.
“i fucked up today,” he murmurs quietly to your bump, his calloused fingers tracing gentle circles along your waist. “i promised i’d be here for mommy, but i couldn’t even do that. i’m scared. i’m scared i won’t be a good husband, or a good dad. i’m trying- but sometimes it feels like it’s not enough.”
his voice cracks slightly, his brows furrowing as he presses a kiss into the fabric of your shirt.
when you finally stir fully, your soft fingers thread through his messy hair, and he flinches slightly, lifting his head to see you looking at him with nothing but love.
“she forgives you, toji,” you whisper, all drowsy and warm. “i forgive you.”
his lips twitch, and he lets out a shaky breath, pressing closer to kiss your forehead before trailing his lips down to your belly again.
“did you eat?” you ask.
he nods. “yeah. it was… perfect. you’re perfect,” he whispers, his voice thick with emotion.
“you’re gonna be a good daddy, y’know,” you say softly.
he lets the words sink in, squeezing your waist gently as you both hold each other close.
“i love you,” he whispers against your neck, his voice barely audible.
“and i love you more,” you reply, smiling into the dim light of the room as you both drift into sleep, tangled and at peace.
toji debut on this acc !! (dw guys, i am still gonna feed y’all more sukuna content, js had to write smth for my other dadaman 👅)
𓂃 ۶ৎ toji taking all his pent up horniness out on you !
"you're too good for this," he murmurs, though his hands don't stop moving one tangled in your hair, the other gripping your hip hard enough to bruise. his breath is ragged against your neck, like he's been running, though neither of you have left the bed in hours. "i'm sorry, baby," he says again, not sounding sorry at all, not when his teeth scrape your shoulder right after.
you don't mind. you never mind with him. toji's always like this when he gets like this, all rough edges and muttered apologies, like he can't decide whether to wreck you or worship you. so you let him, arching into the drag of his calloused fingers, the heat of his body pressing you deeper into the mattress.
"thank you," he groans, hips snapping forward, and you'd laugh if you could breathe. thank you? as if you're doing him a favor and not just chasing your own pleasure right alongside his. but that's toji impossible to predict, even now, when you know exactly how he moves, how he tastes, the way his voice cracks when he's close.
your hands scramble against his chest, fingers curling into the sweat-slicked planes of muscle as the pleasure crests into something unbearable too much, too fast, the relentless pace of his hips turning your thoughts to static. you whimper, twisting away instinctively, but he catches your thigh, dragging you back with a grunt. "nah," he rasps, breath hot against your ear, "you don’t get to run now." his grip tightens, fingers digging in, and then he’s fucking you like he’s got something to prove, each thrust knocking the air from your lungs.
the tears come without warning, streaking down your cheeks as your body shakes, overwhelmed by the sheer intensity of it. he notices immediately, because of course he does toji misses nothing, especially not when it comes to you. his rhythm stutters for just a second, his rough hand sliding up to cradle your face, thumb brushing away the wetness. "shh," he murmurs, lips pressing against your temple, tender in a way that shouldn’t be possible with how deep he’s buried inside you. "just take it, baby. you can take it."
and you do, because you always do for him. the mattress groans beneath you, the headboard rattling against the wall as he drives into you harder, like he’s trying to fuse your bodies together. his kisses are messy, trailing from your jaw to your collarbone, alternating between biting and soothing, like he can’t decide whether to ruin you or put you back together. you cling to him, nails scraping down his back, and he hisses not in pain, but in approval, his hips jerking forward in a way that makes you sob.
"that’s it," he growls, voice thick with something raw and unguarded. "let me hear you." his hand slides down to your throat, not squeezing, just holding, his thumb pressing gently against your pulse. it’s possessive, the way he touches you, like he’s reminding you both who you belong to. and god, you do body, breath, every broken moan, all his.
“what?” you look over at him holding your breath to push back your laughter.
you tilt your head confused.
“yes baby?” you feign innocence and it just makes him more mad.
“the hell did you just say?” his voice is more rough, he’s obviously trying his best not to be mad with you.
“what do you—“ “stop acting fucking clueless, you’re not.” he stands up and leans over you.
you shrug trying to hold back a smile, but you fail terribly.
“what’s funny?” you shake your head. “nothing—“ “no no, because im so funny, right?” he laughs loudly. “we’ll see what’s funny.”
he gets up leaving you stunned.
3 hours later in the kitchen…
the house has been quiet for three hours straight, going on four.
until…
“wish i had a girlfriend who could cook.”
he huffs and walks past the island where your standing in front of cooking on the stove.
“excuse me?!” you turn your head towards him.
“don’t walk away from me, come back here!!” you yell and pick up a paper towel roll and throw it at him.
he walks over to you with that stupid smirk.
“yes mamas?” he puts his large rough hands on your waist and kisses your jaw.
you move back but not to much, you love when toji loves you like that.
“stop, and what did you just say?” you huff.
“say wh-“ “don’t fuck with me fushiguro.” he chuckles and slowly and gently kisses your neck.
“I don’t know what you mean ma, m’just walking around.”
you move away from him and sigh. “sorry..”
he walks forward your back on his chest. “sorry about what n/n?”
“for saying what I did earlier..” you put your head down and turn the stove down.
his hot breath brushing your neck his face nuzzled. “mm, I forgive you I guess.”
“just say you forgive me toji.” “i forgive you mamas”
editors note: basically I just see toji being petty and somehow making you apologize idk, also im working on part 2 of my streamer choso series guys dww :) also i hit 400 followers so i have a special coming for you guys!!!🫶
it’s been weeks since you and bully!toji have spoken to each other—more like you didn’t want to speak with him. You can tell when he’s staring at you, eyes burning in the back of your head as you walk by. Still, he hangs out with his friends, only thing different is that he no longer bothers you.
It feels weird but freeing, being able to go about your day without having someone spewing insults in your ear, or ruining the things you own just to get a quick laugh. You don’t feel tied to him anymore, not sexually and not emotionally.
Too much of an ego, too much pride. That’s all he had to show for. He took his frustration and insecurities out on you, too embarrassed to admit what he really wanted from you—though, you’ll never really know. You didn’t care to know anymore. The kid-like insults were nothing at first, just a roll of your eyes and you’d be on your way, but he grew more nasty, more aggressive the more intimate you two were. It felt like you were being used, being hidden away like you were something to be so asha, and now you know that he was.
You admit, it was stupid if you stick by for so long, to put up with him, and try to see the good in him. It should’ve clicked sooner that he’d never change. He couldn’t even muster a smile the next morning after he was inside you the night before. And that night in your dorm, you knew it was the last time you’d ever let him have that type of control over you again. His apologies sounded empty, just thrown in the air as damage control.
It was over.
Now he sees you strolling around campus with outcast!geto, the boy who stayed to himself, only clicked with a few people and didn’t do much otherwise. He sees the way you smile and laugh, not even sparing him a glance when you walk by.
“Isn’t that the girl you used to mess around with?” Sukuna pointed at you when you walked by. “Looks like she finally got a boyfriend. Better not mess around with her anymore Fushiguro, you might get your ass kicked,” he laughed, the others joining in.
Toji rolled his eyes, waving his hand in dismissal. “Whatever.” But he took the term ‘messing around’ in a very different manner from his friends. They had no clue about you and him, how he used to show up at your dorm every night. Him, coming to you. It’s always been him, following you, watching your every move, looking for ways to ruin your day just so he could interact with you without his friends thinking otherwise.
He realizes how stupid it sounds now. He knows how cruel he was to you all because his ego got in the way. Truth is, Toji was falling for you—fell for you. The minute he saw you on campus, eating alone in the food court, looking around anxiously, he fell for you. But you weren’t the type of girl he could be around, let alone bring around his friends. He’d knew what they say about you, insults, passive aggressive comments, and of course they’d chew him out too, all because you weren’t the ideal person they like.
So, he was mean to you, looking for ways to talk to you without actually talking, without actually getting to know as a person and build a relationship. He pushed you around, coming up with the dumbest kid-like insults, and anything else a cliche bully would do. But he remembers the first time he showed up at your dorm, when you opened the door, an annoyed look on your face at the sight of him. He just couldn’t help but kiss you, pushing himself into your dorm and crashing his lips on yours.
But the last time, all he remembers was the look on your face as you cried. He knew that night that something changed between you two and he was the one to blame. His words were sharp like daggers, humiliating and belittling you, all because he was afraid of other’s opinions. He’s a pussy. If he had been honest with you, honest with himself, he wonders what truly could have been.
“She may be quiet, but I bet she’s probably a slut. Fifty dollars.” Sukuna smirks.
“Come on man, shut up.” Toji shakes his head, a scowl on his face.
“You telling me you don’t think she gets around?” He scoffs. “That whole quiet act is just a facade. If I talk to her just right, I’d guarantee you she’d let me fuck,” he snorts.
Toji clenched his jaws, hands balls up into fist. They don’t know you at all. Not like him. You’re hesitant but sweet, every touch of yours is soft and delicate like your moans. They don’t you get nervous and shy when you get undressed, covering yourself. They don’t know that you like to fall asleep after, wanting to be held and caressed.
“Sukuna, learn to shut your fucking mouth. Just leave her alone. You wonder why I stopped? Cause the shit is getting old. We’re in college. Grow up,” he speaks out, catching everyone off guard, the crowd of laughter fading. “You guys are a bunch of immature assholes. I don’t even know why I’m friends with any of you. You just say and do stupid shit all the time. Do you not get bored of it?” His brows furrow as he questions them.
No response. They all just stare, uncomfortable and guilty. Toji just walks away. To where? Probably back to his dorm to reflect on how he fucked up. Even if you don’t want to speak to him, he just wants to apologize.
You’re sat at your desk, pencil in hand as you stare on the writing from your textbook, nodding your head to the music that softly played on your speaker. A soft knock on your door makes you look over your shoulder, a smile curling at the corners of your mouth. It was probably Geto.
“Coming!” You excitedly say, skipping over to the door and unlocking it. “Hi, Geto—oh.” Toji stands there in front of you, hands in the pockets of his sweater. “You need to leave.” You try and shut the door but he quickly pushes it back open.
“I want to apologize, okay? I didn’t come here for that. Please. I haven’t been honest with you, and I know you fucking hate me, you have every right to, but I just need to apologize to you.” His eyes soften as he blinks as you, adams apple bobbing up and down when he swallows.
“Speak,” you plainly say.
“I fucked up. I messed with your head, humiliated you, embarrassed you, and everything else. And I’m so sorry,” he breathes. “It was me. It was all fucking me being too much of a pussy to tell you the truth, for being scared of my friends. I fell for you and I didn’t know how to feel or react, so I just did anything to try and get your attention—”
“So you make my life miserable?! You have sex with me and hold me at night and then degrade me the next morning? You’re a fucking asshole!” You shove him. “Fuck you!” You shove him again. “All because of your pride, Toji.” You shake your head at him.
“I know, I know,” he softly speaks. “I’m sorry. I hate how I made you feel. Especially that night. I never meant to make you cry—”
“But you did! And you watched me cry! I told you how mean you were being and you sat there while you were rushing to cum while throwing my feelings away?” You stare at him is disbelief, a disgusted expression written on your face.
“Please,” he rushes inside, shutting the door behind him, afraid others might overhear your conversation in the hall, “I know how fucked up that was. I felt like a piece of shit afterwards.”
“Now you know how I felt the entire time. You can’t just decide when you have feelings for me. You’re disgusting. Literally. I want nothing to do with you ever. I don’t want to look at you, I don’t want to talk to you, I don’t want to be near you,” you sternly say. “I’m happy now. I’m free…from you. Now get the fuck out of my face.”
“Y/n, I can’t just…I won’t be able to stop thinking about you. I should’ve been fucking honest with you. I treated you like shit when all I wanted to do was hold you and make you smile. You can hit me, call me names, anything! I know my ego, my pride, my fears all got in the way of what me and you could have been. I can’t just let go of that,” he argues.
“Well, you’re gonna have to. It’s too late now. I stuck by your side, hoping, wishing, that you’d finally let your veil down and show the real you, but I got tired of waiting. I couldn’t take it. I’m moving on now and I won’t take steps backwards for you. Now leave.” You stare at him, cold and empty.
Defeat is all he feels. All he wanted was your forgiveness but he knows he doesn’t deserve it. He leaves, not daring to look back. Weeks after weeks and still he finds himself looking for you everywhere he goes, and sometimes he’ll see you, but you’re not alone. Hand in hand, so close with geto, pressing a kiss to his cheek. He can’t help but feel jealous, to imagine him in his place. If he had a time machine, he’d go back and fix all of this, do right by you and treat you like you deserve. Now all he can do is imagine and reminisce, clinging onto memories that you’ve already forgotten.
part 1
this was more of a oneshot than a drabble but we still vibing
ex!toji couldn’t look at himself for weeks after the breakup after you sobbed at him to get help for his wellbeing , throwing pillows as the two of you had a screaming match loud enough for neighbours to hear
ex!toji still messaged you once every month to let you know he was still earning sobriety chips , not caring that he was left on seen every time because at least you knew he was trying his hardest for you
ex!toji never changed his relationship status on facebook , claiming you were just on a break with him whenever shiu asked why he hadn’t seen you in a while
ex!toji dropped off an ‘anonymous’ bouquet of your favorite flowers on the birthday he couldn’t be there for, along with a box of chocolates and a stuffed bear which you cuddled every night when you couldn’t sleep
ex!toji’s heart sank when he heard you crying on the phone when you rang him for the first time in months , claiming you do still love him and just became overwhelmed with the addiction and constant fighting
ex!toji sped to your house after hanging up, thumbing your tears and cupping your face in the darkness of your bedroom as he whispered in your ear; “shh, i know baby, deep breaths.”
ex!toji cracked a shitty joke when you finally pecked his scarred lips, chuckling to himself and earning a light smack! to his broad chest
ex!toji swore he’d treat you better this time, promising with sloppy kisses to your temple as he dragged his cock up and down your fluttering hole
ex!toji who fucked you raw & sweet on your birthday <3
a/n initially this was gonna be longer but i felt a little lazy . . . happy halloween my lovelies !! ૮꒰ྀི∩´ ᵕ `∩꒱ྀིა
S Y N O P S I S ... toji is convinced that youre obsessed with choso and doesn't realize how obvious he's being about his jealousy. too bad he doesn't realize the feelings are mutual. and too bad he's taking out his jealousy on poor choso (send help ( ._. )"" )
A U T H O R ' S N O T E ... upon anon req! sorry if it's a little ooc, i don't write for toji often and as usual, she is not proofread ;( still! i hope you enjoyy w/c 1.5k
creds! dividers by cursed-carmine, pictures and art from pinterest!!
taglist! @iwouldbesopleased @snooki-doodle
"yo toji, do you know where-"
"no idea."
toji walks out of the kitchen the second choso comes in and everyone hears the way the former slams his door. choso sweat drops as he looks to gojo and geto for any clarity. "did i do something?"
gojo and geto, who were sitting at the table enjoying cereal, only shrug; both as equally confused as choso. "did u lace his shit or something?" gojo asks, mouth full of cereal and practically spraying it everywhere, causing geto to reprimand him. "don't speak with your mouth full, idiot." gojo merely ignores him and continues to speak as he eats, "shut up, mom."
choso ignores their regular bickering and answers, "he hasn't gotten anything from me in a while, actually."
geto suggests, "maybe it's just one of those moods. y'know how he gets."
the three of them try to shrug it off, oblivious to the real reasoning behind toji's sour mood. toji has always made it a habit to keep an eye on you, especially at parties, and from his observations, he has come to the conclusion that you have the biggest, fattest, most annoying crush on choso. everytime you were at parties with him, you always asked if choso was going to be there; "where's choso?" "do y'know if choso's coming?" "i need to ask choso something!"
in truth, you only ever asked for choso because recently, you had started helping him out with his selling. especially win finals were beating everyone's ass, more and more people wanted something to take the edge of. he was the most well known source on campus so it was only natural he had more people but he could not keep up with the orders, or really anything, for the life of him. so you helped him track everything and whatnot. plus, choso gave you freebies in return so it was a win-win!
honestly, if you weren't as cute as you were, toji would've found you infinetly more annoying. and as much as he wants to hate you, he knows he can't fault you for some crush on his friend.
so instead, he'll hate choso.
it started out as little things, such as trying to avoid him. but eventually, his jealousy and resentment festered into something harsher, and even more annoying to deal with for the frat. and especially for choso.
"listen man," choso starts, "i don't know what i did for you to act like this but this shit's getting old. what the hell did i do to you?"
"not a damn thing," toji practically spits out. on his way out of the frat house, he purposely bumped his shoulder against choso's, causing the latter to falter slightly before toji leaves, letting the door slam behind him.
choso curses under his breath in annoyance before falling onto the couch in exhaustion. it had been more than two weeks of this behavior and toji still won't tell anyone anything about why he suddenly hated choso's entire being. sukuna walks into the living room after hearing the loud slam. he sees choso sprawled on the couch in exasperation and puts the pieces together.
"toji again?" sukuna asks. choso only grunts out a response before he fumbles around in his pocket for a pre-roll and lighter. placing the stick in his mouth, he fights with his lighter until sukuna comes up to him and lights it for him with his own lighter. choso mumbles a "thanks" and inhales before blowing the cloud of smoke away from sukuna.
"and you're sure you didn't lace his shit?" sukuna jokes.
"i wish i had," choso grumbles, already fed up with the entire situation.
"y'know if him and yn broke up or something?" sukuna asks, taking a seat on the couch as well.
"didn't even know they were dating. where'd you get that from?"
"maybe they aren't then. you would think with the way toji eyeballs her during parties that he's made it official by now," sukuna replies. "but she's probably your best bet to getting to the bottom of this. he's pretty much obsessed with the girl so maybe he told her why he's soo pissed at you."
choso looks almost shocked that sukuna's plan was actually kind of good. "y'know if she's coming to party tonight?"
"should be, she never misses these parties," sukuna says.
just as they thought, you show up at the party fashionably late and all dolled up. you greet all of your friends and was about to head over to toji, who you saw towering over the crowd of people in the distance, before choso approaches you.
from toji's perspective, choso is yet again cock-block of the year. he was standing a fair distance from you with sukuna with choso blocks his view of you and pulls you out of the crowd and, ultimately, away from him. toji grips the can of beer harder, enough for the crinkle of the metal to be heard. sukuna, who saw the entire thing and the way toji reacted merely chuckled before taking a swig of his own drink. so that's what this is about, sukuna thinks to himself.
"why don't you just talk to her," sukuna offers. "you haven't seen her in a while right?"
toji is gruff in his response, "exam season's a bitch. she's had back to back finals so i haven't had a chance."
"here's your chance then, romeo," sukuna laughs, elbowing his friend and urging him to catch up to you. "yn and choso are just friends. i think everyone but you knows that she has a crush on you."
"shut up, man," toji says in annoyance, chugging the remainder of his drink.
"it's true. in fact, im so certain that you should go and tell her everything. and give choso a break, damn. i haven't seen that guy so stressed out since his kid brother got shipped off to that charter school."
the two laugh at the memory, it was a while ago when choso found out that yuji itadori was getting sent to some technical school for highschool. choso seriously thought he was never going to see him again since it was some fancy abroad program. poor guy was practically pulling his hair out in stress.
in truth, toji felt bad about the whole thing. choso was one of his closest friends and he knows it was petty of him to be going to such lengths just because of some wack hypothesis. as much as he hates to admit it, sukuna was right. he hands his friend his empty can before heading off to the direction you went it. toji was going to apologize to choso but first, he was going to ask you out on a real date.
݁⋆⭒˚.⋆
choso pulls you to the back patio where it was more quiet, with only a few people out there but there was still music playing so no one could hear your conversation.
"hey cho! what's up?" you ask.
"have you talked to toji recently?" choso begins, "has he told you anything about me?"
you hum in thought, "in all honesty, i haven't seen him in a while. our schedules havent been lining up recently. but why do you ask? did something happen between the two of you?"
choso lets out a sigh, "i wish i knew. the past two weeks he's just been on my dick for no reason."
you can't help but giggle at that, "well that does sound like him."
the dark haired male shakes his head. "this is different than those times," he disagrees. "he's like, actually pissed off at me. usually whenever he gets like this, he's over it within a few days. but it's been going on like this for way too long for it to be something simple."
this catches your attention; yes, toji had his moods and would often just ignore it before it ultimately fizzled out and he was back to normal. but more often than not, these little mood swings of his would last no more than a couple days. it was unlike him to ignore one of his closest friends like this.
"i'll go find him and see if i can get to the bottom of this for you, cho," you tell him. choso visibly relaxes in relief and pulls you into a hug in grattitude. you return it easily and rub his back, reassuring him that this would blow over. from your position, you looked up to see toji a good few feet away with an unreadable look on his face. you pull away from choso with a smile and go to wave toji down only for him to turn away with such a furious look it almost made you flinch. choso turns around just in time to see toji rushing off and he also pieces the entire situation together. he drags his hands down his face in frustration just as you excuse yourself to go hunt down toji.
you push and shove past the sea of bodies trying to find toji. by the time the crowd parts just enough for you to squeeze through, you see toji at the makeshift bar making out with a girl. you don't know why your chest hurts to see the way he grips her waist and pulls her even closer. you had no claim on him, you knew this. but some part you—some stupid, idiotic part— had thought that you would be fine with that. you could have toji even if it wasn't officially. though, no matter how hard you tried to convince yourself, the ache in your chest just wouldn't fade away.
ta-daaa omg first toji fic,, how do we like (˶˃ ᵕ ˂˶)
edit!! alright party people part two is out :DD read her here!!
you were both highschool sweethearts more like jujutsu high sweethearts but undoubtedly lovers for the longest time.
a couple that people would look at and think ‘they’d last forever.’ you believed it too, i mean why would you break up with the best boyfriend in the world?
he was so lovely, an attractive man, your personalities merged like cotton candy creating something beautiful which was your relationship.
he took care of you, loved you, until it wasn’t enough.
when gojo came to discover the full extent of his powers and became the strongest sorcerer in jujutsu you couldn’t have been happier.
he deserved it, he was the best after all!
but in all the commotion it seemed you were left behind somewhere.. you understood of course. you tried your best to be there, planning dates, events, showing up where it mattered even if he couldn’t.
but then it started to bleed into important moments in your life, anniversaries, birthdays, the positive pregnancy test clutched in your hand.
you stayed up all night waiting for him to show, with all his beautiful blue eyed glory and he didn’t.
you awoke in an awkward position on the bed, gojo collapsed next to you blind fold still on. worried, you scrambled up to him checking his face.
he was okay..
you cupped his cheek, a tear rolling down yours, you had to try, one more attempt at this..just one last time.
gojo opened his eyes feeling your touch on his skin, his velvety skin furrowing on his forehead.
“what’s wrong?” he croaked out, voice still raspy from sleep yet surprisingly tender.
you shook your head breathing out a soft nothing, and wiped your tear that had landed on his cheek its pearlescent path glowing in the soft morning light.
you couldn’t wait to tell him! he’d be so happy! you opened your mouth to speak but—
suddenly, gojo rose up quick to his feet, “shit!” he gathered his things half-hazardly, “i had a mission, fuck! it was scheduled for this morning, sorry baby i have to go” he leant down quick to press a kiss on the side of your head.
he was out the door before you could even speak.
huh..
you swallowed. it was over then.
ཐིཋྀ toji fushiguro
as unexpected as a meet cute it was, you’d first met toji when he appeared at your workplace..as your patient.
having picked up the night-shift as a nurse you’d fallen into the rhythm of work until toji started to flirt with you.
he’d show up unannounced sometimes with no injury at all, you’d inquire after the repetitive nature of his appearances and he’d blame it on his career as a boxer.
he was..a boxer alright, you just found out the real truth when you both got together. he was a jujutsu sorcerer always involved in some shady fights.
you scolded him, got angry, fought with him and finally understood, this was the way of his life that you’d just have to accept and you loved him too much to leave him.
other than the side gigs he was a lovely boyfriend, a brute of a man with a surprisingly soft, caring nature. life with him was easier you loved who you were when you were with him.
it scared you to patch him up, now frequently at home. but the days where he’d stay at home while he healed and cook for you, you’d teasingly call him your house husband and toji would take it in stride, owning up to the title.
his hugs, his kisses, his warmth, his love it was a whirlwind of happiness you’d never felt before with anyone else.
this particular night toji was meant to return back from one of his missions, it’d been a long wait and he was looking forward to seeing you again.
two taps a pause and then another tap.
a little code the two of you had made so you’d only open the door for him.. just in case.
the door however was unlocked, and the hair on the back of his neck stood up, toji knew immediately that something was wrong.
walking down the hallway, he noted that it’s silent, too silent.
his footsteps fell heavy as he approached your room, he didn’t want to spook you if you were in there so he made his presence known.
he couldn’t help the fast pattering of his own heart and his mind wandering in every direction, maybe you were just asleep?
he opens the door to you sitting on the edge of the bed with your head in your hands. his hands reach out as if to hold you but you glance up at him before he could.
the look in your eyes is devastating, your pretty brows furrowed and the lips he loved so much scrunched into a frown.
“baby, what’s wrong?” toji breathes, his worried eyes raking over your entire form.
“i can’t do this anymore.”
what were you saying..
“do what anymore?”
“we’re breaking up”
“what the fuck, why?” he cringes at his tone, his desperation apparent through it but it’s what he truly feels.
he is desperate for you, he does not want you to leave, his mind is taking too long to catch up to his current situation.
“they showed up at my work” you curl your fists tight in your lap, boring holes into the ground from your glare.
“what..”
“your people! the shady people who work with you showed up at my fucking hospital and they threatened me!” you speak, your anger and the heat in the room rising with every word.
“who the fuck? who’s they!?” toji runs a sharp hand through his hair.
“i don’t know!!!” you shout, breathing heavy. you start to pace a bit in the room. the adrenaline and sheer anxiety you felt aching for an escape,
“i don’t know who it was ‘ji” he winced from your use of his nickname, said usually in a much lighter an lovable tone.
“hospital security had to be called, it was a whole fiasco, i couldn’t—“ your voice breaks, “i couldn’t do anything, my poor patients were freaked out and my hands they just.. wouldn’t stop shaking”
your pacing pauses with toji as he walks up to you and pulls both your hands close to his chest.
“i’m sorry, i’m so sorry this shouldn’t have happened” he bends down trying to come eye level to you but you drop your head down further trying to prevent the hot tears from escaping
“hey,” toji pulls you in for a soft hug, his scent so comforting, just like home, you wanted to melt into his embrace, “it’s okay” he whispers rubbing your back.
you shake your head.
it was over then, your relationship couldn’t continue, not like this, not until he quit.
but he couldn’t quit that life, you knew that, so you left first.
ཐིཋྀ suguru geto
you’d joined his cult ofcourse! the man was just so persuasive, he had that inherent luring quality in him.
one word from him and you’d do anything, anything he asked of you.
which included being his bunny.
atleast, that’s what he called you, not your name but bunny.
always perched on his lap in cult meetings, making out behind the curtains, laid up nude, a feast for him and him only in the back of his car.
geto bought you expensive gifts, took you on luxury trips, kissed you like you meant the world to him and you believed it too.
so, “why?” you croaked, clutching onto his robe.
why wouldn’t he look at you anymore, not the way he used to, why was he pushing you away?
you couldn’t make sense of it!
“it’s nothing personal” he brushed your hands off his robe straightening the delicately ironed cloth.
“b-but you loved me! for two years, i gave you everything, you wanted devotion, i was— am devoted, i swear on it geto-sama” your lips trembled.
he clicked his tongue, off-put by your desperation.
pathetic.
“i’m just bored, bun” he smiled weakly failing to sound apologetic whatsoever, the vacant look in his gaze made him seem as if he were somewhere faraway from the conversation.
bored?
you shook your head, you refused to believe it “you love me, that’s why you’re pushing me away, you don’t want any inhibitions. i know you, i know exactly how you think” you spoke with unexpected confidence.
geto looked stricken, as if this entire ordeal pained him.
“you need to leave” he bit out, “now” his words were stern, unbeknownst to you he dug half-moons into his palms.
you looked up towards the ceiling, took a deep breath and without another look walked away, out of his life.
you, his only salvation, now gone.
ཐིཋྀ ryomen sukuna
you had been beside sukuna so long that people stopped remembering a time you weren’t.
servants changed, eras passed, entire villages vanished and rebuilt elsewhere. yet you remained beside him like something permanent.
something his.
when you were younger, you thought it to be romantic. the way he called for you first upon returning, the way he pulled you against him absentmindedly while speaking to others.
the way the entire world feared him, yet some nights he rested his head in your lap and let you play with his hair in silence.
it felt special then.
being loved by ryomen sukuna felt like being chosen by something ancient and terrible yet so tender.
maybe that was why you stayed so long.
even as time slowly settled into your body…
your hands ached in winter, silver thread through your hair, exhaustion sunk deep into your bones.
sukuna didn’t understand it at first.
“you sleep too much lately,” he muttered one evening after finding you dozing off waiting for him.
you smiled weakly, “i’m old”
he clicked his tongue, “how human”
you laughed softly because of course he would say that. time had never touched him properly.
but your body remembered every year.
still, he loved you. maybe not gently, maybe not correctly but completely. his devotion to you had no end.
that is what worried you.
sukuna never spoke of love directly. but the truth of your existence was it’s end.
which was why this hurt so much.
because one evening, sitting beside him beneath the engawa while snow fell beyond the gardens, you realized you did not want to be preserved anymore.
you were tired.
not to be mistaken for unhappiness, you were so happy so loved but time eroded all.
you rested your head against his shoulder, his warm hand covering yours.
“sukuna..” you spoke quietly.
he hummed.
“when i die…”
his grip tightened instantly.
“you won’t.”
you smiled sadly.
“everyone does eventually.”
“not if i decide otherwise” your chest ached at how simple he made it sound, as though your life was just another thing he could force into submission.
after a long silence, you whispered:
“i think i want to rest” sukuna pushed to speak but you stopped him with a light squeeze on his arm “and i want you to let me go”
sukuna finally looked at you then, really looked.
at the tiredness beneath your smile, the years written softly across your face, at the falling snow so akin to your beauty.
and his denial of it all.
something unreadable crossed his expression, anger perhaps or grief. with him they often looked the same.
then his fingers tightened around yours hard enough to almost hurt. and somehow that hurt worse than if he had shouted.
because ryomen sukuna did not beg.
he did not cling.
yet here he was holding your hand like loosening his grip would make you disappear.
“please” you whispered, begging him to not make this so hard on you.
he nodded curtly.
this goodbye was inevitable.
firefly; i lowk really love the concept in sukuna’s and want to write a whole separate fic on it TT (we yes WE love angst) ❀ུ͏
