‘Mr Bennet, I have something to tell you. I’m afraid it’s very provoking news. Would you like to know what it is?’ Mr Bennet lowered his paper and looked over it evenly at his wife. ‘Whatever my wishes in the matter, I am sure you intend to tell me.’ ‘Mary needs spectacles. The oculist says she cannot see without them. There, Mr Bennet!’ She looked about her with the consciousness of having delivered a very significant and troubling piece of information.
It was Elizabeth who spoke first. ‘Surely, Mama, it is good to know what can be done to help Mary. If she needs spectacles, ought she not have them? It must be very hard for her to struggle on without them if she cannot see as well as she should.’
Mrs Bennet uttered a stricken little cry. ‘Really, Lizzy, what can you mean? It is a dreadful misfortune for her! Spectacles are for doddering old men, not for young girls of eighteen! I refuse to believe that she really needs them. No one in my family has ever been so afflicted before. We Gardiners all have perfect sight.’ ‘But, Mama,’ continued Elizabeth, ‘you do so little close work and read so rarely that you may not know whether you need them or not.’
‘How can you say such a thing! No one enjoys a book more than I do. “Read so rarely”, indeed!’ ‘You are forgetting, my dear, that I myself wear glasses,’ added Mr Bennet. ‘I should not like to think of myself as an old man, doddering or otherwise, but I admit I should be quite incapable of study without them.’
‘You are teasing me, Mr Bennet, but you know the truth of what I say. A man may wear spectacles, I suppose, even a young man, especially if he is a lawyer or a clergyman or suchlike, and no one will speak ill of him. For a young woman it is quite a different thing. What do you think people will say when they see Mary in them? Who will want to marry her then?’
Mr Bennet looked thoughtful. ‘Perhaps one of those very men you have just described will offer for her, a wearer of spectacles himself, boldly indifferent to the scorn of all the neighbourhood. Indeed, it may be the very thing that brings them together.’
The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow - Chapter 6, Part One
Chapter 23 is finally here - unbetaed and likely with myriad continuity errors but hopefully y'all can still find some enjoyment in it because, to be honest, writing this was more about getting it done and trying to get back into the swing of things!
Link to Ao3 or read on below <3
[w/c: ~2,900]
~~~
The piercing sound of raised voices clattered down the stairs and fractured the comfortable silence that had settled between Mary and Tom in the Gardiners’ living room. They had been sat in neighbouring armchairs, hands loosely held as they perused their own books.
“… not fair, Ed! You said that last time was the. Last. Time!”
There was a brief moment of silence followed by the unmistakable low murmur of Ed’s voice.
“I can’t do this right now, babe,” Kate had always been gifted with excellent vocal projection, and today was a textbook example. It was as though she was in the room with them.
Mary glanced at Tom while her teeth worried her lower lip. Her book had fallen into her lap, and her worn fingernails picked at cuticles. Tom looked similarly concerned, with his brow furrowed as he chewed the inside of his cheek.
Kate and Ed practically never disagreed on anything, let alone having a fully-fledged row in the house, while the children were all home.
Footsteps thudded down the stairs, and Mary scrabbled for her book, acting enthralled as Kate grumbled down the hallway and slammed the front door behind her. Ed’s footsteps followed, achingly slow compared to his wife’s, and accompanied by a drawn-out sigh.
“Tom,” Ed called weakly, his voice echoing faintly from the hallway, “can you come here a moment, please?”
Tom glanced sideways to Mary who was regarding him quizzically. He shrugged, pushing himself off the chair with a soft groan.
Mary scrunched her face as she agonised over whether or not to chase after her aunt. She’d learned a lot about comforting people, but wasn’t sure that this was the right time. She couldn’t remember ever hearing Kate so furious, let alone at her husband; they always presented as a united front, the only disagreement Mary could recall was when Ed had been particularly vociferous about the use of the Monopoly board’s ‘Free Parking’ spot and Kate had told him to pull his head in.
Mary leaned back in her chair with a soft sigh, her ankles crossed uncomfortably and her head angled awkwardly to rest against the slightly-too-high back. She was dimly aware of Tom and Ed’s voices leaking through the wall, much quieter than Kate’s had been. Mary suspected that Ed had some bad news about work, perhaps a period of working late nights and weekends was on the horizon. Her stomach sank at the thought of seeing Tom even less than she did now. Try as they might, between her study and his work, they were lucky to see each other more than once a week unless their social circles overlapped.
They would figure something out, Mary reassured herself. They could always meet up on lunch breaks, and she had become more comfortable with the part of town where Tom’s office was, and she was considering the possibility of bringing Tom coffees on her free days, when the very subject of her thoughts walked back into the living room.
Mary glanced up, her eyes widening at the sight of Tom’s ashen face.
“What’s happened?” Mary asked, setting her book to the side and standing to meet Tom as he stepped slowly towards her.
“Ed got a call from our New York office earlier,” he began, his voice gravelly, “there’s been some fallout from the case we worked on the other week, the client’s accused the firm of some… frankly insulting things,” Tom swallowed, pausing to take a deep breath, “and because Ed and I were so heavily involved, we’ve been ordered to travel to the States and set up in the New York office while we resolve things.”
Mary was sure her heart had fallen through the floor and was now snaking its way around London’s underground.
“You… have to go to New York?” Mary asked, incredulous.
Tom nodded shakily, his eyes firmly on his thumb as it traversed along the tops of his knuckles and back, the pressure leaving a faint pink tinge to the already agitated skin.
“New York, in the United States of America?” Mary pressed, her voice growing more firm.
Tom nodded once, taking in the state of his frayed jumper sleeve as an excuse for being unable to meet her eyes.
“How long for?”
Tom closed his eyes with a grimace, “For the next few months, at least, while we go through every single case file, email, text… Facebook message, you name it.”
“You don’t even use Facebook!” Mary exclaimed, her eyes so wide it would almost have been funny, if Tom wasn’t so deeply upset.
Mary could see that her reaction was only adding to Tom’s pain and she took a moment, slowing her breathing from the rapid pace it was growing towards.
He was going to be away for months. Months! This man who had rapidly grown to become one of the best people in her life, was about to leave London for an entirely different timezone.
Mary knew that it was something Tom had no control over, but she had little luck convincing her heart of that, which had abandoned its usually steady march and was accelerating to something untenable.
They’d had a lovely day up until literally moments ago, and she didn’t want to add to things by having a fully-fledged panic attack. Tom’s brow had furrowed into deep crevasses as Mary’s breaths had started coming quicker, her eyes widening as she searched desperately for grounding objects through the room.
She found herself distracted in Tom’s pained face; his concern had pushed his glasses down to an uncomfortable perch on the tip of his nose. Ordinarily, he’d have pushed them up without so much as a thought, but his hands remained occupied with his anxious skin rubbing. Mary noticed the way the thighs of his trousers had rumpled from where he’d no doubt gripped the fabric as Ed had broken the bad news, and she could imagine Tom attempting to flatten the creases on his cab ride home.
Gradually, her breathing steadied out once more, and the constriction that had been threatening to crush her chest dissipated into a faint ache that she knew was likely to remain while she processed Tom’s news.
Mary felt frozen between emotions, wanting more than anything to comfort the man in front of her, but also understanding the importance of allowing herself to feel her own genuine emotions. Mary intellectualised her feelings rather than actually existing with them, her therapist had said. Mary hadn’t ever really noticed it until this rather inconvenient moment, and it annoyed her greatly.
She took a steadying breath, closing her eyes briefly before locking them on Tom’s face.
“When do you have to go?” Mary asked, softening her voice as Tom met her now-steady gaze.
“January third,” Tom replied, his voice slightly shaky, “They wanted us to leave the day after tomorrow, but Ed refused.”
Mary nodded slowly, “Good. As he should.”
She was proud of her uncle. He was great at his job, but he was a husband and a father (and an uncle!) above all else. He must have known that Kate would have found this news difficult. Sure, they could afford a nanny to step in and help out while Ed was away, but he was Kate’s best friend. They did everything together to the point that it was almost nauseating. And yet Mary also found it aspirational. To have found someone that complemented oneself so well, where both were able to function individually and have their respective careers and goals, and yet show up as a unit. As a team.
Mary had spent so much of her life looking for her own team, not romantically but simply by virtue of finding Her People. And she felt certain that her and Tom would be a wonderful team, but now barely months into dating, it appeared that the universe had other plans. It felt cruel that her boyfriend, the new label still surging butterflies through her belly, would be suddenly overseas for longer than they’d known each other.
“What are you thinking, Mare?”
Tom’s concerned voice pulled her out of her rapidly devolving spiral. It was ebbing and flowing as her brain raced through its vast range of emotions in record time.
“This is really not how I saw today going,” Mary admitted sadly, “I’m so happy you’re my boyfriend but I just feel like…” she trailed off, picking at her thumbnail.
“I feel like I finally got to be yours,” Tom finished, different words from what Mary had been planning to say, and infinitely more devastating.
Mary’s eyes pricked with tears, and she clamped them shut while she focused her energy on resuming her steadying breaths.
Tom’s arms wrapped around her, her shoulders and waist immediately basked in the warmth of his broad torso.
“We’ll figure it out, love,” Tom murmured into her disheveled hair, “I’m so sorry.”
Mary sniffled, burrowing her head deeper against Tom’s pounding chest, “It’s not even your fault,” she replied, her voice muffled through the fabric of his jumper, “and I think that’s what makes it harder. It’s quite literally your job.”
Tom nodded, mussing up her hair even more as his cheek rubbed against the top of her head, “Ed said he was going to try and negotiate a visit home for us, although I think it’s mostly because he doesn’t want Kate to file for divorce,” Tom chuckled uncomfortably.
Mary’s heart lurched. She knew he was joking, but Kate had been so upset when she left. As if he’d read her mind, Tom continued, “He slipped out to find her, they’ll talk it out. They’ll be okay.”
Mary let out a deep sigh of relief, the warmth from her breath spreading across Tom’s chest. He pulled her tighter, spurred on by the sudden realization that such an embrace would soon feel like a luxury.
Tom’s head pulled back as Mary suddenly shifted to look up at him, “Can we still do our Christmas-on-Boxing-Day plan? Or will you be too busy getting ready?”
Tom beamed at her, “Of course we can, sausage.”
Mary wrinkled her nose at the term of endearment, “I think I prefer ‘love’, Thomas.”
Tom laughed, pulling her back against him, “Hmm, we’ll see. I’ve always thought it was a cute petname. I need to lean into the British-isms while I’m in the States, love.”
“It’s far too soon to make such jokes,” Mary chastised, “especially if you’re calling me a processed meat item.”
If Mary was being truthful with herself, she didn’t really mind the petname, but was concerned that if she accepted ‘sausage’ as his new term of endearment for her, Tom would start referring to her as more and more questionable things.
“I think Ann would be understanding if I said I couldn’t do Christmas with her this year,” Mary began, pausing as she thought through logistics.
Tom cut her off, gently, “I think it’s important for you two to have that time together still. I know I’m going away but we’ll still do our day just the two of us, and let’s plan to see each other far more often over the next couple of weeks, yeah?”
Mary nodded, “Yeah, you’re right. Don’t!”
Mary scowled as Tom’s eyes had lit up with Mary’s concession that he’d been correct.
“Can I get that in writing, sausage?”
Mary shoved him lightly and his laughter echoed across the wooden floors.
“You are though,” Mary continued, “and god knows I’m going to need Ann over these next few months.”
“And she needs you, too,” Tom reminded her, “that nonsense with her ex sounds like it’s getting nasty.”
Mary nodded glumly, “Yeah. Who knew he’d turn out to be such a bastard. This will be her first Christmas without him in years, I’m sure we’ll make it one to remember.”
“That’s my girl,” Tom murmured, grasping Mary’s hands gently with his own, before pulling her in for a gentle kiss. Mary smiled against his lips, reaching her arms up to wrap around the back of his neck, tangling her fingers in his curls.
A soft cough came from the doorway, and the couple sprang apart, both glancing sheepishly at where Kate Gardiner stood, an arched brow directed at them.
“Well you two seem to be handling the news just fine,” she mused, a small smile attempting to tug at the corner of her mouth.
“Oh, no I’m just in denial,” Mary quipped with a slight grimace.
“I may have overreacted slightly,” Kate admitted sadly, but Tom was shaking his head.
“I don’t think you did at all, Kate. It’s utterly ridiculous that the firm is determined to take Ed away from his bloody family for so long. I can understand them doing that to me, given they see me as this expendable, ‘single young man with no life’, but Ed’s got you and the kids to factor in.”
Kate shot him an appreciative smile, “That’s very kind of you, Tom. Unfortunately Ed and I both knew this might be a possibility when he took on the mantle of ‘partner’. With great salary comes great responsibility.”
Tom chuckled drily while Mary continued to twist her fingers in the hem of her jumper. Tom’s hand reached out absently and pulled Mary’s anxious hand into his own, stroking his thumb over the soft skin between her thumb and forefinger.
Kate watched the split-second interaction with soft eyes. There was a comfort that existed between the two of them that she hadn’t seen either experience prior to meeting each other. It caught her breath, and also filled her with self-satisfaction. She really had nailed that match.
Ed lurched into the kitchen with three children in tow. Marianne was stony-faced, while George and Rebecca had tear-stained cheeks.
“I can see telling the children went well, babe,” Kate sighed, picking Rebecca up with a soft grunt.
“Oh absolutely. I know they’re all going to have a riot without boring old Dad here,” Ed joked, tousling George’s hair.
“Can George go too, and then we can just have a girls’ house?” Rebecca queried, baffled at the bark of laughter that erupted from her mother.
“I suppose we might need someone to do coffee runs, and sort our photocopying,” Ed mused, shooting George a conspiratorial grin.
“I don’t want to go to America,” George asserted, “I think I would literally die.”
Tom and Mary shot each other the same distinctly uncomfortable look. Turns out George had, in fact, listened in on their conversation on international gun laws the week prior.
“Well, I guess we can let one boy remain in the house then,” Kate conceded.
“What’s going to happen with your flat?” Mary asked as she turned to Tom, “You were sick of Michael anyway, right?”
Tom nodded, “Yeah, I’m sick of him but I’ve got nowhere to store my stuff. I’ll probably just keep paying rent while I’m in the States. He’s at his partner’s most of the time now, anyway. You could stay there if you wanted.”
Mary stared at him, agape.
“Well, no pressure or anything. Just, I know it’s a bit closer to uni and your work. So it might be easier for you. If you wanted.”
Ed and Kate glanced at each other, in silent agreement as they shuffled the three kids out of the room with them.
“I’m not asking you to move in with me,” Tom clarified quickly, “Not that I wouldn’t want that. I’d love to live together. One day. Not yet. Well, not ‘not yet’, but maybe after America. But that’s not what I…” Tom gave up trying to make sense come out of his mouth, opting instead to cover his face with his hand.
“It’s okay, Tom. I understand what you’re saying,” Mary placed a hand on his forearm, “I’d love to take you up on that offer, thank you.”
“I’m just going to stay here for a minute,” Tom’s muffled voice replied, his hand still firmly planted over his face.
Mary couldn’t stop the smirk from creeping across her face. She was so accustomed to being the one who felt the need to hide from the aftermath of her verbalised streams-of-thought, it was a blessed change to instead be witness to someone else. It was endearing.
“Your bed is so much more lush than mine,” Mary mused, “I may just end up claiming squatter’s rights.”
“All the more incentive for me to come back from America,” Tom replied meekly, “besides, Michael is the one that acts like a squatter there anyhow.”
“Kick Michael out and we’ll be able to move in together like you were wanting,” Mary grinned, her face splitting as Tom groaned.
“You’re not letting me live this down anytime soon, are you?”
Mary shook her head, delighted, “between the two of us, in the last what? 48 hours? We’ve basically covered off cohabitation and marriage. Next we’ll be discussing kids.”
Tom smiled, “Marius if it’s a boy, Thomasina if it’s a girl.”
“Perfect.”
“I’m glad we’re okay, Mare,” Tom said suddenly, his tone a stark shift, “I know we’ll have to figure this stuff out. But I’m grateful that I’ll be figuring it out with you.”
Mary’s eyes sparkled in the light, “Me too, Thomas.”
Bad news for me: torrential rain and wind at 4am so I cannot sleep
Good news for you: chapter 20 is now up
Thanks to @tomhaywards the light of my life and saviour of spelling continuity lmao
Link to Ao3 or read on below
[w/c: 2,700]
~~~
Tom pushed hesitantly through the throng of revelers gathered in the entryway, craning his neck as he went, uttering a continuous stream of ‘excuse me, pardon, forgive me, sorry,’ while he tried desperately not to tread on anyone’s toes. Michael Bublé was playing… somewhere… and Tom fought against the overstimulation that had already bombarded him as he scoured the Gardiners’ packed living room.
At last, his eyes landed on the familiar knotted bun of light brown hair that he knew so well. It was decorated this evening with a sprig of mistletoe, a sight that sent his pulse sizzling through his body. Mary turned, and Tom was momentarily distracted by the way the Christmas lights were reflected in her glasses, a hazy sheen of muddled vibrancy, before he noticed the dazzling smile she was directing at him.
“Tom! You’re here!” She exclaimed, grabbing his arm and pulling him into her small group. Tom cast his eye around the intimate circle warily, smiling nervously as several sets of eyes looked him up and down. One woman couldn’t seem to stop from grinning at him, not unlike the Cheshire cat, as she clutched her mulled wine close to her chest. Another, more spindly woman, had opted to stare at him disdainfully, before she scoffed and wandered off.
“You’ll have to excuse her,” Mary chuckled, “That’s Caro, she hates everything and everyone that isn’t two degrees of separation from the Royals,” Mary added with an eye roll.
The woman who was still beaming at Tom, rather unnervingly, elbowed Mary’s ribs.
“Ow! Lizzy,” Mary hissed, “What was that for?”
“Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
Mary’s chest tightened. Of course. She’d known this was going to be part of the evening’s affair when Lizzy had shown up at the Gardiners’ door mere hours earlier. They were in town for her husband to attend the annual partners’ Christmas do.
Mary had queried why Lizzy wasn’t attending alongside her husband, to which Lizzy had scoffed, “Eugh, Mary. They’re such dry affairs. All pissing contests, an exorbitant amount of alcohol, and ‘delivering shareholder value’ ramblings. I’d much rather spend my time here with you.”
Mary had tried to object, suggesting that Lizzy might have been happier spending time with the other partners’ spouses but she’d rolled her eyes, “Fitz is quite happy for me to skip it, he is only going out of sheer obligation. He knows Cathy will have his head on a platter if he misses another year.”
And so it had been decided. Lizzy would attend the Gardiners’ Christmas gathering, and inevitably meet Tom. And now it was happening. Kate and Ed had been absolutely no help at all, instead having the audacity to be excited at the prospect of seeing another niece.
Mary could feel Tom and Lizzy staring at her, while Mary’s thoughts rapidly escalated out of her control. She knew that Lizzy was closer with their mother than she was, and the chance of Mrs Jane Bennet finding out about Tom Hayward was not zero. And Mary had been so eager to keep him to herself for just a little while longer.
Fucking Fitz. It’s not that Mary didn’t like her brother-in-law. He took some getting used to but they had struck up something of an amiable almost-friendship after all these years. But his and Lizzy’s frustrating insistence on leading separate lives together, which Mary usually admired, was causing her the utmost difficulty.
Mary shot her sister a look, “If you say anything to our sisters, or to our mother, you will be dead to me.”
Lizzy nodded, her face fixed in an exaggerated stony expression as she mimed crossing her heart.
“Tom, this is my sister, Lizzy Darcy. Lizzy, this is my… Tom,” Mary finished, lamely.
“Hello, Mary’s Tom,” Lizzy replied with a grin, as Mary groaned at her previous phrasing.
The concept of being Mary’s Tom sent a pleasant shiver up his spine. They hadn’t discussed labels or anything of the sort, and he didn’t want to get ahead of himself, but he supposed he would be quite content remaining Mary’s Tom for as long as she’d permit him to be.
Tom realised he had been so distracted by Lizzy’s comment that he hadn’t actually replied. He blinked sharply, his glasses shifting on the bridge of his nose from the force behind it.
“Right, yes. Hello, I’m Tom.”
Mary stared at him incredulously, while Lizzy smirked behind her wine glass.
“Tom. Are you alright?” Mary queried, her voice low with concern.
“Sorry, er. Yeah, bit of a long day at the office,” Tom replied, not wholly untruthfully, but hoping it would cover his temporary lapse in intelligence.
“What do you do for work?” Lizzy asked, shooting him a kind smile.
“I’m a barrister, junior, in Ed’s firm,” Tom replied, fidgeting with the sleeve of his shirt.
“Oh! I see. You’re quite young for that, aren’t you?”
Tom flushed, “Well… I, I don’t know about that, I…”
“Tom’s being modest,” Mary interjected, “he works bloody hard and has achieved a lot to get to where he is.”
Tom gazed at Mary, dumbstruck.
“He was full scholarship to Kings College, Lizzy.”
Lizzy’s brow jumped, “Oh wow, Tom, that’s impressive.”
Tom’s cheeks grew redder, “I didn’t know you remembered that, Mare,” he muttered.
“Of course I remembered, how could I forget?”
Tom bumped his shoulder against Mary’s, smiling bashfully.
“Well you two are absolutely sickening,” Lizzy laughed, “I can see why Kate and Ed set the pair of you up. You’re a perfect match.”
Mary rolled her eyes affectionately, “Don’t tell Kate that, please. It’ll only go to her head and she’ll start scheming about our… our wedding! Or something of the sort,” Mary laughed, a light sound that died as she registered the glee on Lizzy’s face, and the sharp intake of breath from Tom, accompanied by a rather shocked expression.
“Oh no I didn’t mean… oh my god,” Mary mumbled, her hands flying to her mouth, “I have to go.”
Mary turned on her heel and dashed out of the room, pushing through the throng.
“I’ll go see if she’s okay,” Lizzy murmured, looking to set her glass down.
“Please, let me,” Tom replied, already shedding his coat which would only restrict his movement through the crowd.
“I can see why she likes you so much,” Lizzy smiled, “and you take care of her. Thank you.”
Tom nodded, “Of course. She’s incredibly important to me. We haven’t known each other long but I can’t imagine ever not knowing her, if that makes sense?”
Lizzy nodded, a gentle smirk creeping across her face, “Oh I know exactly what you mean. And tell her to call me if she needs me.”
Tom nodded once more, steeling himself with a deep breath, before setting out after Mary. He could only assume she’d headed upstairs to her room, after he reached the entryway and she was nowhere to be seen.
He took the stairs two at a time, his shoulders heaving with the efforts of his lungs by the time he reached her bedroom door. Tom’s knuckles barely kissed the door before he creaked it open slowly, “Mare?”
Again, there was no trace of her. Tom rolled his shoulders and pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose, before setting off back downstairs.
Tom’s footsteps thudding back down the stairs, even more quickly than he’d set off, drew Lizzy’s attention and she met him as he came bounding to a stop.
“No sign of her,” Tom puffed, his hands flying to his hips as he looked up towards the ceiling.
Lizzy scrunched her face up, and for a moment, Tom could spot the resemblance of his Mary.
“Wait, I’ve got an idea,” Tom breathed, and Lizzy watched helplessly as he vanished back into the crowd of people. The soft snick of the front door opening and a gentle thunk told her all she needed to know.
Tom had pulled the front door shut as quietly as he could, but it still frightened Mary who was sat shivering on the doorstep.
“Mare,” Tom breathed, his heart lurching, “what’s the matter? You rushed off so quickly. Did I do something? Did I say something? Please, forgive me,” Tom knew he was rambling like a madman but his brain was frantically taking in the scene in front of him, simultaneously recalling their earlier conversation before Mary had run off.
“No, you didn’t say anything,” Mary sniffled, fighting to keep her breathing steady, “I said the stupid thing, I just… I was trying to be funny and then I freaked everyone out.”
“What on earth do you mean, Mare?” Tom asked, fighting to keep the incredulity out of his voice.
“Please don’t make me say it again,” Mary sighed, balancing her glasses on her stocking-clad knee while she rubbed her eyes.
Tom perched next to her, picking her glasses up and cradling them in his palms.
“Mare, I don’t think I’ve seen you this upset since that day in town. Please, can I help?”
A hollow laugh escaped Mary’s lips, “You could not be scared away by me and my… whims, I suppose.”
Tom was wracking his brain now, coming up empty on what had caused Mary to be so upset.
“Is it because I was impressed you remembered something about me? I didn’t mean anything by it… I’m not used to people caring to remember such specific details of my life,” Tom admitted, bouncing his feet to keep them warm in the bitter cold.
“No. Oh god, I’m freaking out and you don’t remember?”
“That doesn’t mean it’s not important, Mare. If you’re upset, you’re upset. You’re allowed to be. Don’t have to justify it,” Tom replied with a self-satisfied nod, “feelings are there to be felt.”
Mary sighed, “I. Oh god. It sounds so dumb now. You just looked so… appalled, when I made that joke about Kate planning our wedding. I was terrified I’d scare you off.”
Tom’s blood ran cold, and he knew the December air wasn’t to blame.
“Oh god, Mary. I’m an idiot, I’m sorry.”
Mary side-eyed him, “Why are you the idiot?”
“I just didn’t even register that that was something unrealistic. I think I was shocked that you’d said it before me,” Tom confessed, “I’ve often wondered if she’s bored now that we’re seeing each other,” he added.
Mary giggled and Tom’s heart soared at the sound. Determined to hear it again, he continued, “I’m sure she’s got Marianne, Rebecca and poor George running drills, you know? We’ve been seeing each other six weeks, she’s probably already got florists on speed-dial…”
Tom grinned as Mary laughed properly, leaning into his side.
“It’ll take a lot to freak me out, Mare. I promise.”
Mary nodded, still slightly sniffly but content against Tom’s shoulder now.
“Is it bad that I really can’t face going back inside?” Mary muttered, pulling her phone out to check the time.
“Not at all, we can stay out here as long as you want, love,” Tom murmured, wrapping his arm around her. He paused, and Mary frowned as he withdrew his shoulder, before pulling his jumper over his head.
“Here, pop this on, you’re frozen,” Tom told her as he placed his green knitted jumper on Mary’s lap.
“But you’ll freeze,” Mary sighed, despite pulling the jumper over her own head. She smiled faintly at the warmth it still held, and the prominent perfume of Tom’s cologne.
“I’ll just have to huddle close, then,” Tom smiled as he scootched across the step until their sides were pressed against each other.
“It’s still fucking cold, isn’t it,” Mary scowled, her face scrunching the same way that Lizzy’s had earlier.
“What on earth are you two doing out here?” The familiar voice of Kate Gardiner carried down the street, as the echoes of hers and Ed’s steps bounced off the surrounding townhouses.
“We just… needed a break from inside,” Tom supplied, pulling Mary closer against him.
“It gets a bit overwhelming in there, doesn’t it,” Ed agreed, coming to a standstill next to his wife, “don’t feel like you have to hang about, Tom. You’ve had a big day.”
Tom nodded, “Well, I was thinking I’d see if Mare wanted to get a drink with me, somewhere quieter.”
Mary’s head lifted, and Tom paused, “But I understand if you want to stay and catch up with Lizzy,” he added.
Mary shook her head, “I feel rubbish, I’ll text her but I think I need a break from all the people,” she murmured, her hand reaching for Tom’s and lacing their fingers together.
Kate and Ed exchanged a sympathetic look, “Lizzy will understand sweetheart,” Kate reassured her, “She’s staying overnight, so you can always catch up in the morning.”
“I’ll fetch your coats, just give me a moment,” Ed stepped gingerly between the pair and slipped through the door. He reappeared moments later, clutching two thick coats, and breathing a large sigh of relief.
“It’s absolutely disgusting in there, I think I’ll come join you for that drink,” Ed quipped, passing Mary and Tom their respective jackets.
“That’s not funny, even as a joke, Edward,” Kate muttered, shooting him a look, “besides, you’re the one that organised this affair. The least you could do is go and swan around your adoring crowd.”
Ed rolled his eyes, “Off to swan,” he sighed, bidding farewell to the trio outside.
Kate reached forward to give Mary’s shoulder a sympathetic squeeze, “It gets a bit much sometimes, doesn’t it? Go, enjoy your evening. There’s no reason for you to both be here feeling stuck all night.”
Tom pulled himself up slowly, gingerly shaking the cold from his bones. He reached down to grasp Mary’s hand before bringing her up alongside him.
Kate nodded with a smile, “Good. Now, go and warm up! It’s freezing, and I’d never forgive myself if you got hypothermia.”
Tom chuckled and stepped aside to allow Kate access to the front door.
“Let’s go, love,” Tom murmured, wrapping his arm around Mary’s shoulders.
Mary nodded, “Do we have to get a drink? I really just want to cosy up with a film or a book, if that’s alright?”
Tom nodded, “Oh absolutely. I actually had no intention of dragging you anywhere but to my place where I know it’ll be quiet.”
Mary beamed, “You really know me quite well now, don’t you?”
Tom couldn’t stop the grin spreading across his face, “I like to think I’m getting there.”
Mary sighed contentedly, bumping her shoulder against Tom’s upper arm as they walked.
“I might just get us an uber to mine,” Tom mused, “I’m cold and I really just want to be rugged up under some blankets”
Mary hummed in agreement and they stepped to the side of the footpath while Tom requested their ride.
“Okay, all done,” he advised a few moments later, “Gary will pick us up in four minutes.”
“Thanks Gary,” Mary grinned, “Four minutes though. What are we going to do while we wait?” Mary leaned back against the wall, staring up at the night sky. The street lights were casting an orangey glow across the street, and the faint glow of Christmas lights twinkled through most windows. Most people were already home and inside from the cold, so it almost felt like her and Tom were the only people left on the planet.
“I can think of at least one thing,” Tom mused, walking over to join Mary against the wall.
“Oh?”
Tom nodded, cupping Mary’s jaw. Her eyes fluttered closed, “oh” she murmured, instinctively leaning into his touch.
Tom gently touched his lips to hers, smiling as she met his gentleness with her own firm pressure.
Tom peeked to make sure no one had crept up on them, before wrapping his arms around Mary’s waist to pull her closer, more difficult than usual given they were both wrapped in thick coats.
Mary laughed as she started to tip to one side, thrown off-balance by Tom’s embrace, and he joined her as they slowly careened towards the wall.
“Well, it was worth a shot,” Tom said sheepishly, pressing one last brief kiss against Mary’s flushed lips.
She nodded with a smile, “And I think that’s Gary now,” Mary pointed to where a silver Toyota had just pulled in.
Chapter 22 - I've gone rogue and published without bothering my wonderful beta @tomhaywards because I didn't want to keep y'all waiting more than was absolutely necessary. Hopefully it's still comprehensible.
More will be coming soon, promise!
Link to Ao3 or read on below.
[w/c: 2.3k]
Chapter 22
Mary muttered something unintelligible as Tom slipped back into bed. His curls drenched a damp halo against his pillow, and he groaned at the unpleasant sensation. Mary rolled over at the sound of his grumbling, and came to rest against the solid wall of his chest.
Tom smiled wryly, slipping his arm under the duvet and over Mary’s waist, tugging her flush against him. Her breaths evened back out, warm gentle puffs against Tom’s still-damp skin and raising goose-bumps in their wake.
Tom pressed a kiss to the top of Mary’s head, smiling as she shifted and murmured against him. He thought back to those nights he had tossed and turned in this same bed, unable to fight the crippling waves of loneliness as they crashed over him.
It had been very early days after he first started practicing; no coursework or exams to distract, no classmates to drink with, and no soundproof walls to block out the sounds of his flatmate’s loud sex. He was proud of the life he had forged for himself, away from the familiar comforts of home. He had a great job, his colleagues seemed kind, and he was comfortable financially for perhaps the first time in his life. But he couldn’t deny the feeling that he was missing something.
The emptiness had enveloped him, carving a bleak hole in his chest. The same chest that his girlfriend was now pressed up against, as his lips remained flush to the top of her head. With each breath, he inhaled the scent of her fruity shampoo, and exhaled as softly as he could, wary of her hair tickling his nose.
His heart felt full. A warm wash of contentedness soaked his body and his eyelids drooped shut, his weariness from the day dragging him to sleep.
***
Mary winced as the morning sunlight streaked through the thin gap in Tom’s curtains, directly into her eyes. A small rasp of a groan escaped her lips and she immediately clamped a hand across her mouth, peeking across to see if she’d woken Tom. She released the breath she was holding; Tom’s quiet snores remained steady.
Mary’s vague awareness of the aches throughout her limbs became more prominent as she grew more conscious. Slowly, she rolled away from Tom, stretching her arms and legs out as she went. Tom grumbled at the movement and rolled towards where the bed had dipped under Mary’s form, his arm snaking across her waist, his chest warm and firm against her back.
“Mmmm,” Tom mumbled, his lips skating over the back of her head, “no escape allowed.”
Mary breathed a laugh, wriggling herself further under the duvet, “Not escaping, just bloody sore.”
“What?” Tom’s voice was instantly firm, heavy with concern, “did I hurt you last night?”
“No, no. No,” Mary frantically reassured him, “not at all. Yesterday was a long day and then I contorted myself into some weird positions last night.”
Tom’s relieved sigh sagged into Mary’s back, and he pulled her tighter.
“D’you have the time, love?”
Mary nodded and grasped around for where she roughly thought her phone had come to rest overnight. After a few moments, she held it aloft triumphantly.
“It’s half nine.”
“Oh shit, we needed the lie in, I guess,” Tom muttered, “d’you have plans today? Can we cuddle for a bit longer?”
Mary beamed, biting her lip as she stared at her phone to avoid Tom seeing her exceedingly sappy expression, “I have plans later, but we can cuddle for as long as you want.”
***
“Wait! I forgot my Yorkshire pud mug!” Mary practically shrieked as she ran back into Tom’s flat.
She reemerged a few moments later, the lump of ceramic clutched tightly to her chest.
“I wasn’t going to bin it, you know,” Tom laughed, his eyes shining affectionately as he smiled at her flustered expression.
“I know but I wanted to have a cuppa in it later,” Mary replied defensively, “and I know Kate is going to be so jealous when she sees it.”
“Kate does have a taste for the eclectic, that’s true,” Tom agreed.
“It’s why her and Ed are such a good match,” Mary laughed, “His eccentricities are genetic, I’m afraid.”
Mary’s coat pocket buzzed and she handed her mug to Tom, who took it wordlessly and with great care, before she hauled out her phone.
Lizzy Darcy (1:27PM)
Hope you’re doing okay after last night. I’m heading off soon, glad to have seen you yesterday xx
To: Lizzy Darcy (1:28PM)
I’ll be there in 30 minutes – can you wait for me?
Lizzy Darcy (1:28PM)
Of course!
“Okay, Lizzy is leaving soon but will wait for us to go and say goodbye,” Mary advised, pocketing her phone once more.
Tom nodded with a small smile, “Best we get a move on, then.”
***
Tom stepped out of the taxi and held his hand out to Mary, who accepted it gratefully. He shut the door gently, waving a hand in thanks as the driver scooted back into the traffic. Mary had strode ahead and was already halfway through the door to the Gardiner residence. Tom lurched forward, his ungainly legs setting a rapid pace that the rest of his body failed to meet, and he stumbled up the front steps.
“Smooth, Tom,” he muttered under his breath, attempting to reset his facial expression into something less flustered as he stepped into the house.
A short, curly-haired cannonball careened into Tom’s legs, knocking him back with a huffed ‘oof’. He looked down with a quirked brow, to see George’s cheeky face peering up at him.
“Hi Tom,” George grinned, “we haven’t seen you in ages!”
Tom crouched down and tousled George’s thick curls, and he scrunched his face as they bounced down over his forehead.
“I’m sorry mate, work’s been so busy,” Tom replied, sighing exaggeratedly.
“Dad should do some of your work,” George quipped, “he’s always home before me and Marianne and Rebecca so he could stay and help you instead.”
Tom laughed, “I like the way you think, Georgie.”
“You spend lots of time with Mary, you know?”
Tom blushed at George’s observation, and was about to reply when George continued, “I think it’s nice. But my sisters and I miss you and when you used to live here. Maybe you could move back in and you and Mary could get bunks!”
Ed’s low chuckle burst the small bubble that had wrapped around Tom and George’s moment.
“I don’t think three small children running rampant is what Tom needs after a long day at the office, George,” Ed stated, leaning against the living room doorframe as he observed his son and Tom together.
Tom stood up from his crouch, wiping his hands against his thighs as he did so, “Hiya Ed.”
“Hey mate, you guys go okay last night?”
Tom nodded, “Yeah, we just needed to get out from the crowd. Mary seemed better once we got home.”
Ed smiled and gripped Tom’s shoulder, “You’re a good lad, Tom. I’m so glad Kate convinced me on the matchmaking.”
Tom’s cheeks pinked, “Yeah, me too.”
“Thomas!” Mary’s voice called down the passageway, a hint of impatience around the edges.
“Coming!” He replied, shrugging at Ed and George who were both looking at him quizzically. Mary never yelled. Tom was sure that between the two of them, Ed and George could count on one hand the number of times they’d heard Mary raise her voice.
Tom hurried down the hall to where he could hear several voices talking animatedly.
“…don’t understand, I met him last night?”
“No but just go with me on this, please Lizzy. Besides, Fitz hasn’t met him yet.”
“This is true,” an unfamiliar man’s voice replied, “I’d like to put a face to the name of the man I was unaware of, up until an hour ago.”
Tom peeked through the doorway warily, his eyes falling on where Mary, Lizzy and a tall, dark-haired man were standing around the kitchen island.
“Hi Tom, nice to see you again” Lizzy said pointedly, arching a brow at Mary.
“Lizzy, Fitz, I’d like you to meet Tom Hayward,” Mary paused, “my boyfriend.”
Lizzy rolled her eyes and then paused, her whole body stilling, “wait.”
Mary grinned, watching the cogs of Lizzy’s mind rapidly turning.
“Boyfriend! Oh my GOD!”
Mary laughed, her face positively lit with joy as she nodded, “Yes, we are now labeled,” her words became muffled as Lizzy pulled her in tight.
“I’m thrilled for you, Mary,” she breathed, exclusively for Mary’s ears and nobody else’s.
It had taken a great many years for Lizzy to fully understand and appreciate the differences between Mary and the rest of their sisters. Lizzy remembered distinctly the white-hot plunge of shame as she’d had the epiphany, as a teary-eyed Mary broke down in front of her after an incident at a particularly horrendous extended-family event.
Their mother, the brutal woman that she was, had all but dragged a barely-teenaged Mary out by the ear, after a rare bum note on the piano piece she’d practiced so diligently all summer. Lizzy and her older sister, Jane, had exchanged a look before heading through to the kitchen, sticking their ears against the patterned wallpaper to better hear their mother berating poor Mary in their father’s study.
“I thought she did really well tonight,” Jane had hissed, her brow furrowed indignantly.
Lizzy had nodded back, her lips pursed, “She is by far the most technically gifted amongst us, who can blame her for missing that note when the dog tried to jump up and join in?”
Mrs Bennet’s voice reached a pitch so high that Lizzy was certain would leave the aforementioned dog in distress, and winced as she imagined Mary shrinking in on herself.
“…an embarrassment!...”
“…good was paying for those lessons if you can’t even play right?”
“… your father would be rolling over in his grave if he could see the state of you!”
Lizzy winced, her mother’s awful words a knife through her belly. Their father had always shown kindness to Mary, the foil for their mother’s brutality towards her. Mary had been inconsolable when he’d passed, more-so than anyone else, and Lizzy knew that the low blow from her mother would send Mary spiraling once more.
Hours later, Mary had crept into Lizzy’s room and tucked herself into the small twin bed, nestling up as Lizzy pulled her in close.
“I hate it here,” Mary had sniffled, her eyes bright with tears, her face blotchy and swollen from the constant sobbing Lizzy had heard coming from the bathroom.
Lizzy’s heart had fractured into hundreds of piercing shards, rendering her momentarily breathless. She couldn’t begin to imagine how Mary had felt over the years. Lizzy was young but she wasn’t naïve enough to believe that this was the first outburst from their mother. Years of unacknowledged moments seemed to click into place all at once; Mary wincing whenever their mother raised her voice, a refusal to wear anything other than her standard clothing colour combinations of beige, tan and grey, and a general disinterest and despondence that seemed to grow with each passing day.
So for Lizzy to see this confident, happy and settled Mary in front of her; from the bright red and green festive dress, to her messy up-do, and the unfettered glee on her face? It filled her with a warmth she hadn’t realised was possible.
Lizzy realised, with a shock, that her husband was gazing at her with his knowing smile, a wry twist that was met with the twinkle in his dark eyes. Mary, on the other hand, had slowly lost her smile and was regarding Lizzy with concern.
“Are you okay?”
Lizzy nodded, absently wiping a determined tear from the corner of her eye.
“I’m just so happy for you both, truly,” Lizzy smiled, looking to where Tom was standing nervously, his hands clasped in front of him as one of his thumbs worried against his knuckles.
“Lizzie, love, I hate to break it up but…” Fitz began, glancing down at his watch.
“Right, yes. We have to head off to make an appointment back home. It was so wonderful to see you, Mary. And to meet you, Tom.”
Lizzy pulled each of them in for firm hugs, lingering with Mary once more to reiterate just how happy she was for their news.
Mary’s face scrunched, she knew she had every reason to be excited, but couldn’t understand why exactly Lizzy was so thrilled. She supposed it was an older-sister thing. Nevertheless, she had leaned into Lizzy’s hug, before giving her brother-in-law an awkward wave, which Fitz returned, similarly awkwardly.
The pair rushed out of the house, and Mary and Tom stood side-by-side in the kitchen as they watched Lizzy scoop up each of her cousins for an enthusiastic embrace before her and Fitz raced out the door.
“Well,” Mary began, leaning her head against Tom’s shoulder.
“Well,” Tom agreed, resting his head on top of hers, “I guess that’s one sister down. How many to go?”
“Three,” Mary sighed, “But I only really talk to Jane. Kitty and Lydia are… a lot like my mother.”
“Well, I’ll happily meet whoever matters to you.”
“Mmm. Thank you,” Mary hummed happily, linking her fingers with Tom’s, “and maybe one day I can go with you to Yorkshire; meet your mum and sisters.”
“If you’d like,” she added hurriedly, glancing up to gauge Tom’s reaction. He was beaming down at her, his eyes filled with an unfamiliar type of warmth than what Mary was used to.
“I’d love that very much,” he beamed, pulling her tight against his side.
