Hey, would you be open to IronAgent (Phil x Tony)? If yes, from the angst list (because /of course/ I look there first lol) 19: "Why did you wait until I moved on?" If you feel like it. Thanks! <3
never done this one before, but i like it!
Tony isn’t used to heartbreak. He’s kind of an asshole like that. Or maybe he is used to heartbreak, but he’s not quite used to people admitting that they don’t like him like that.
Phil Coulson was someone he met while at an orchestra with Pepper and showing up late and getting the wrong seat and falling asleep.
He was the one who jabbed him awake and explained why the orchestra was so important, and Tony saw how much he could appreciate it, and he wanted more of it.
So he asked. Phil said yes. And their first date was to a diner where Tony had to give Phil, like, eight quarters for the jukebox.
He was different from anyone Tony usually saw. Different as in decent, different as in he wore a white button-up shirt nearly every single day, and Tony liked it, but he liked it more when it was a bit wrinkled and Phil broke down and unbuttoned the top two.
They dated for eleven months and thirty days. They broke up in July.
In retrospect, Tony can see why. Phil was always interested in specialized security and was one of the best people to stay calm under stress. (Tony joked that it was because of him.)
Phil calls him in July. Tony is in Malibu, and Phil lives in Chicago, and he won’t allow Tony to pay for a plane or train ticket.
Now he knows why.
The phone call is short, mainly because Tony knows that he’s bursting with questions and Phil won’t answer them, because it’s considered rude to ask someone why they don’t want to choose you anymore.
Tony says okay. He says okay on the phone, which sucks, and it’s...
He calls Rhodey next.
“You okay?”
“Probably. Maybe.”
“You’ll be fine,” Rhodey says, in that tone of voice that Tony usually always trusts, but this time it’s different because Rhodey isn’t with him right now, he’s with his cousin in Florida trying to learn how to handle different beach-themed cocktails. Call it scientific research.
“Listen,” Rhodey says, “I gotta go. Ben’s taking me to dinner, but call me when you need me, okay?”
“Got it.”
He’s not going to do that.
-
Phil joined SHIELD. You can’t have personal connections, not really.
And Tony was as personal as they got, but he was also beneficial. Phil knows that if SHIELD ever caught wind of Tony being his, there would be talk. Talk about “why don’t you convince your boyfriend to get us weapons?”
“Why don’t you bring Tony Stark over? Let us in on some secrets?”
He can’t do that to him.
And relationships...
Best not to think about it.
-
It takes longer than thought possible for Tony to get over Phil. In many respects, he might not be.
But he goes out the next week and makes headlines dancing with all sorts of people and socializing and proving that he can move on. He will move on. He’s already moved on.
He bitterly hopes that Phil can see it.
(Phillip Coulson is busy fighting bad guys in a grocery store, but as he dodges a can of peaches being thrown at his head, he sees an overturned magazine rack. And there Tony is, smiling at a girl and-)
-
Tony keeps tabs on him, sometimes. He doesn’t often pop up. Tony doesn’t really look into security, because he knows that if he finds out where Phil is, what Phil is doing, it’s all he’s going to think about. And he can’t keep him safe, he can’t keep him protected.
So he focuses on weapons and business and making sure that Pepper isn’t too pissed off, because it’s like Pompeii 2.0 if that happens.
-
Coulson is in the office when the break-room TV is turned on and the news is up, and agents are crowding around.
“Back to work, everyone,” he says, but he stops when he sees the headline.
Tony Stark Declared Missing after Weapons Demonstration Gone Awry
He can’t breathe. He feels everything slam down, and he can’t let anyone know it’s all coming down over his head, so he turns off the news.
“Get focused,” he says. “I know at least one of you is supposed to be talking to our agents stationed in Liberia about a potential 084. Get it done.”
He goes into his office and stares at a framed picture of a Ferris wheel.
Just below that, folded up, is Tony kissing his cheek while he laughs.
And it might be done.
He wishes it wasn’t done, he wishes that he had never broken up with him. He’s always wished that, every single time he comes into his apartment and Tony’s plans for decorating their apartment when they both came back to Boston (Phil never did) were the talk of the night for many a night.
He can’t request any special information. He can’t risk it, doesn’t want to risk it.
Maria still catches him, because she’s Maria. She knows everything.
“You got personal history with him,” she says over a mutual dinner. She invited him to her house. She didn’t seem like a house person, but then again she also has coasters with embroidered flower bouquets on them, so there’s that.
“I’m not going to tell you anything about it.”
“Wasn’t expecting you to. Just wanted to let you know that I know.”
“And how would you know?”
Maria smiles, biting into the pizza that she has ordered and Phil hasn’t touched, but still paid half for.
“Because I’m smart and observant, Coulson.”
“You can call me Phil, you know.”
“Nope, rather not. But if you’re not discussing it, then it must have been romantic. I’m surprised you guys dated. For long, if I’m right.”
“Under a year,” he says.
“And you’re still this affected?”
“I broke up with him,” Phil says. “You know why.”
“You’re the dumbest ever,” Maria says. “You were dating the son of one of the best-known men of all time, and you think that you were putting his life in danger?”
“When you put it like that, it makes me sound stupid.”
“You’re not,” Maria says. “You’re smart. But Tony Stark isn’t exactly a saint. He knows how to fight dirty.”
-
Tony Stark just flew out of a cave and his first thought is the fact that he really wants a nice burger, and the second thought is that he’s wondered if he’s just invented something revolutionary.
It’s about two weeks after everything and he’s still finding trouble with his standard mattress that he gets a visit.
Strategic-Homeland-Whatever.
They call themselves a private security firm. Tony knows better, has seen better liars.
But Agent Barton is insistent that security is all they do, and they want to make sure that Tony Stark isn’t a danger to himself.
(What he really means, most likely, is that SHIELD has caught on to the little fact that his flight suit exists.)
-
Phil met Obadiah Stane exactly once, and exactly once is the only meeting you really need with a man who is the physical embodiment of an oil spill.
Barton calls him, says that he needs to get there now, the mission is going wrong. Coulson’s his handler, and as much as he’d like to send Maria or Natasha or literally anybody else, he is worried.
He finds Dum-E waving frantically, with Tony hunched over a counter and breathing hard, a blue light emanating from his chest.
“Tony?”
He turns around wildly, freezing as he looks at Phil.
“I don’t have time to deal with you,” he pants out, breath ragged. “Move out of my way, and stay out of my way.”
-
Phil witnesses Tony in his element. He’s always flown above the rest, but never quite so literally.
Pepper clutches Tony’s hand and he holds her close, and oh.
Oh.
Phil knows he shouldn’t have expected anything. He knows that it’s been years and years since they were dating, since they were each other’s everything and a half.
But it still kind of hurts when you’re not a choice.
They turn to look at Coulson.
“I assume that Clint is yours?” Tony asks.
“One of them, yes.”
“He needs to get better about lying, he clearly ate my leftover sandwich.”
“I’ll...talk to him about that. Everyone okay here?”
“For now. Need to tie up some loose ends.”
“I can help with that.”
“I don’t need it,” Tony says, and Pepper follows his gaze carefully before speaking.
“We would love the help,” she says, and Phil can tell that she doesn’t know.
Somehow-and Phil’s not quite sure how-that burns. Tony didn’t tell her about them. It’s egotistical of him, sure, but he kind of wants to be known as a part in Tony’s life.
SHIELD gets involved. They clean up Stane like he was never there, and there’s a press release about him having a heart attack in his sleep that is clearly not the case, but there are enough pictures of him eating unhealthily that it can kind of make sense when people look at some shitty news source.
Phil makes flashcards.
Reminds him of studying days, when he used to quiz Tony on Captain America trivia.
He stumped him, once.
-
Tony doesn’t like that Phil’s back in his life. He doesn’t have to like it.
But really, it just...
They used to be together. And they didn’t end because it got bad, they ended because Phil had a job and he didn’t want to be a couple because that would somehow ruin things. And Tony got it, really. The board wasn’t exactly pleased that Tony wasn’t hush-hush about his activities.
“What’s gonna happen, they’re gonna sue me? Ask me to stop?” Tony had asked, laughing. “I don’t give a shit what people think. They rely on me too much to afford to have an opinion cloud their judgment.”
Phil isn’t like that.
They danced together. He still remembers Phil’s order for food.
(Lo Mein with veggies, but he would never eat all of the veggies that were in there. Plus egg rolls.)
-
“If you just read the flash cards, you should be fine,” Phil says. “Trust me.”
“You waited to tell me that until I moved on or something?” Tony asks sardonically.
-
Tony listened to Phil twice in his life and trusted him.
The first was six months in, when he said “I love you” while they were lounging on the worst couch that Tony had ever sat in, in an apartment with a leak during rainy days.
The second was when Phil told him to live his life to his full potential on a short phone call.
Fool me once, fool me twice, and never again.
“The truth is...I am Iron Man.”
