#toonil

[thecultys]

#ThrowbackThursday to when Tom Riddle won a Culty for Most Dedicated Following!

[thecultys]

May 31st is too far away. I hope Lord Voldemort can tell me how I should be waiting.

Ever since Barty had taken over as the PR manager for Death's Enlightened, there were dozens of new initiatives for Tom to keep track of, many of them on websites that he had never even heard of.

While logged into a website called 'Tumblr', Tom clicked on the little envelope icon which was where Barty told him all of Lord Voldemort's fanmail would be waiting.

Finally. Some tasteful content worthy of a response. Tom typed out his answer...

Lord Voldemort blesses this sensually divine union.

...and hit the 'Post' button.

Perfect. Excellent. Very good. Tom cracked his knuckles and looked at the next one.

Too far away indeed. How was Tom to last without Harry until then? They only ever saw each other in person at the show. On one magical night every year, Tom got to shoot his shot.

If only Lord Voldemort could actually materialize in real life, and advise him on how to woo Harry...

Come to think of it, what would Lord Voldemort do in this situation? If the all-powerful god that Tom had invented at the edgy age of seventeen was real, what would his advice be?

Lord Voldemort suggests you submit your most heartfelt pleas to Roonil Wazlib, requesting his immediate assistance with my most recent prophecy. Only through the power of true love (genuine and real true love, not that shallow swill peddled by that meddlesome fool, Albus Dumbledore) can Lord Voldemort's brilliance be ignited and propel society to an epoch of peace and prosperity. Also, by continuously voting Tom Riddle for the Most Dedicated Following award. Lord Voldemort kindly reminds you that you may vote every hour.

[thecultys]

If Roonil could do anything else besides host the Cultys, what would he do?