A list of all the weird crap I've heard in school
*coming into class late* “Under GOD, indivisible, WITHLIBERTYANDJUSTICEFORALL!”
“Oh, yeah, I think that guy died like 84 times.”
“I think I broke my curl.”
Math teacher: “Michael, I need your homework.”
Michael: *sticks his head in his backpack, screams, and falls off his chair*
“It’s okay, Hannah. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has those days. Look at my parents, for God’s sake, they had me!”
“Metabolism is NOT a rock.”
“No one take twenty-t— goddangit!”
Kid 1: “Are you going to finish that?”
Kid: “Did you not just see what happened?”
Science teacher: “No, but I’d be laughing if I did.”
Tech assistant: “You said hypotenuse! Isn’t that, like, a mathematical swear word?”
“I said “I love you” to Margaret as she left and now I feel really gay.”
“ALL HAIL SUPREME OVERLORD SCZYLVIAN!”
Science teacher: “If anyone presses that button again, I’m going to wring their neck.”
“Every time the lead breaks, a bit of my soul breaks off.”
“Do you ever just eat paper?” *rips a piece of paper off his math worksheet and stuffs it in his mouth*
“I have a business meeting tomorrow and Thursday.”
Math teacher: “What’s the height of this cone?”
“It looks like depression.”
Kid 1: “I could write some pretty hardcore fanfic, I think.”
Kid: “If you drink liquid oxygen, you can breathe underwater.”
Science teacher: “If you drink liquid oxygen, you can explode.”
*in the middle of math* “How dya spell ‘library’?”
Kid 1: “Try to say ‘soldier’.”
Kid 1: “What would happen if you drank Windex?”
Kid 2: “I love drinking Windex!”
“I’m the opposite of fun. I’m anti-fun.”
“Anything is gay if you look at it the right way.”
“I have a whip, but not for the reason you’re thinking.”
