Experiences with Bi Stereotypes (BiTalks topic 10)
How are you affected by the stereotypes about bi folks?
I didn't even realize that I could validly identify as bi until recently because of the stereotypes around 50/50 attraction or at the very least relationship experience with multiple genders. I was predominantly attracted to men until just the past few months, and before that my attraction to women was infrequent and generally a lot milder so mostly it went under my radar. One of the most common reactions I've gotten from the friends I've told is "but what does this mean for your husband/relationship?" as if I was suddenly going to leave him for a woman. I was able to make them understand that it's more about who I'm capable of being attracted to, and that the attraction I experience doesn't make me incapable of maintaining a committed relationship.
What do you think could be done to make bi folks who fit various bi stereotypes feel better and more supported by the bi community?
I would say basic acceptance and support without judgment. I think people have a tendency to want people who engage in what they view as stereotypical behavior to modify themselves for broader acceptance of the group, but ultimately that just reinforces the idea that that behavior is somehow wrong and should be corrected to fit some arbitrary definition that ends up being rather non-inclusive.
What could be done to support “untypical” bi folks and folks who don’t fit society’s notion about bisexuality at all and whose identity is therefore questioned (those who don’t date/have sex at all, those who are also ace, those who only have relationships with people of one gender, and so on)?
This is pretty much the group I fit into. I've been a bit on the lookout for groups outside of the internet (in my area) that I could participate in, but it's been a bit challenging. I struggle with how to incorporate my identity into how I present myself to the world, especially since it's so new to me and everyone except the few people who know just assumes I'm straight because I'm married to a man and have a young child. I think continuing to educate people on all of the ways bisexuality can be expressed is hugely important, as well as focusing on creating safe physical spaces for people to meet and support each other without judgment.
What are your thoughts about fighting/disclaiming bi stereotypes?
I've found that being willing to talk about it is very helpful. I've been fortunate in that everyone I've told has been really supportive and willing to reevaluate any misconceptions they might have had. Probably the best thing we can do is stand up for each other and continue to share our stories and experiences, no matter what they are.
