Aug 29, 2018
That Captor is so hard to talk to, he just blows up and acts like I was trying to what? “Watch him tick,” he said, but I’m not even sure what that means. It feels like I’m not getting through to him at all, and maybe it’s too much to expect that I might. I don’t want to give up though. :(
I feel like he’s lying. He’s trying to convince himself that he’s apathetic, trying to become that way, but
it seems cowardly
like running
and besides that
it’s not really what he wants, I don’t think. Right? But he got so mad...
#tormentedapathy#Enforcer#Have I wronged him?#It's kinda hard to tell...#Maybe my expectations are ridiculous in general.#I have all these wild standards and sometimes it seems like the world likes to step all over them.#Now I too am an edgy whiner who whines.#Bluh.#I hate the idea that we have to be horrible in a horrible world.#We don't!#I don't want to!#I won't!#You can't make me!#Choose kindness!!#Growth!!#Change!!#We can ALL do it I know we can!#I just wish#someone would prove me right#and we can all keep proving it together#even if we slip up sometimes#and fall#it doesn't mean we can't get up and try again.#The future is shaped by the past#but it is not the past.#I want him to see what I see. I want everyone to see it.#...I'm just rambling though.#Is it foolish to say it's hard?#I don't know.