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My partner, this morning at the gas station before going to work: do you think you need to roll a constitution save when having sexual relations with Illidan to avoid taking poison damage from the fel?

Me, definitely not having this conversation this early: I don't know, I'm not Matthew Mercer.

Partner, as he takes out his phone: okay, I'll ask him then.

Me: please don't. No one deserves this.

#illidan stormrage #matthew mercer #world of warcraft #critical role #matt mercer #illidan #warcraft #god i hope he doesn't #torposts #torstory

So I've started playing ark survival evolved again and I've been on this primitive plus pve server, searching desperately for a horse. Last night after I gave up, I decided to tame a male raptor that I needed for the egg boost. I finished taming, saddled up, and started to ride home when I turn the corner and right there! A horse! Raptor forgotten, I start taming the horse, get knocked off a few times but get the hang of it, until the horse runs us both across the island and into a pack of allos! We both died. I'm still so sad.

#ark survival evolved #ark #dinosaur #ark primitive plus #equus #primitive plus #torposts #torstory #torplaysarksurvivalevolved

You guys I bought my tickets to go see Amaranthe. I haven't been to a concert since The Depression™ hit me in college and I'm like really really excited

#it's been a long road but I knew I was getting better when I started listening to music again #and Amaranthe was the first band I discovered after that #torposts #torstory #torpersonal

So I resubbed and (naturally) the first thing I always do after being away from the game for a while is go visit my favorite edgelord

#world of warcraft #warcraft #illidan #illidan stormrage #wow #torplaysworldofwarcraft #torposts #torstory

This one time I almost got kicked from a legacy Mythic Hellfire Citadel run by chasing a fire mage with my [Shado-Pan Geyser Gun] until they cried

#they were on fire I had to put them out #world of warcraft #Warcraft #torposts #torstory #torplaysworldofwarcraft

Today I called to make an appointment with my hairdresser and I opened with "Hi [my name], this is [her name]. No wait, you're [her name], I'm [my name]" And I've been dealing with that for the past 5 hours.

#social anxiety #anxiety #I fucked up #torstory #torpersonal #torposts

Last night at the restaurant I was at, the waiter forgot to bring the water I ordered and when I asked for it again he said "oh did someone take it?" And as a person with social anxiety, I still haven't come up with an answer 23 hours later

#social anxiety #anxiety #torposts #torpersonal #torstory

Them: So do you have a 401k plan?

Me, a millennial: nah I'll just die

#future looks bleak #millennials #meme #torposts #torstory

#torstory

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