Tosha is made for war. She was raised with the mindset her life was dedicated entirely to fixing a problem that was putting life at risk within the universe. Which is entirely true. Her socialization was sacrificed in favor of being the mind to build a weapon that can defeat something cosmic. She grew up fast and views everyone based on their usefulness.
There’s a heart in there. It’s really buried deep, to a point Mallory can barely even access it. Her tears aren’t for anyone to see. Physical harm can do so little to what she has locked up inside. But it all serves a function. Even her heart knows what she has done was necessary to give this world a chance at life again. Sacrificing a single planet to keep one monster at bay until he can be defeated is worth it than letting him run rampant.
Mallory may be her jailer on this world but he fails to realize how mutual it is. This planet will be his prison if she has anything to say about it.
Despite the fact he is her first (toxic) friend, enemy and rival all in one short package, she has never desired to go beyond and befriend others. She’s capable of it, with time and patience. People can get under her skin. She wants to see them survive but knows the chances are so slim with the current state of things. If not them, all those that are still left alive and the generations to come afterwards will do just fine. For the most part, it doesn’t matter to Tosha that the world will likely reject her after all of this. Let them. She has work to do and if they aren’t getting in her way they can feel however they want. But there’s the smallest spec within that chained up heart that wants validation beyond herself.
Most of the things she says and does she believes firmly in. Even down the core of her being she won’t feel regret in what she does if it means living to keep building a weapon capable of taking down Mallory, and then the next problem and the next after that. She isn’t a person who knows peace and quiet, she isn’t someone who knows soft beds and warm touches. She only knows the condescending touch of a dead man and wouldn’t know what to do with anything else.
I love the mechanic that Tosha is a hammer of order and justice against something very awful but her personality and the way things unravel means she embraces chaos to inflict order later down the line. Mother of weapons who ends up just weaponizing herself. Anything in her vicinity is just something she can use to further her cause.