#total shitpost

[i-see-miwi]

“When there’s a will there’s a way” WRONG it’s actually

“when there’s a Will there’s a Mike”

Just look at these gay cuties

[yanderedrabbles]

How about if the reader (that's us) were Samara Morgan (from the movie The Ring)?

Y'know what, I can see it. Chronically online loser boy with a fixation on horror manages to obtain an old VCR tape that's supposedly cursed. When it comes, he's practically bouncing on his heels with excitement. He went to the thrift shop all on his own to get a VCR to watch it on and everything!

When he pops the tape in, all that excitement drains away. He was expecting something spectacularly creepy, something he could brag to his buddies on r/GenuinelyHauntedGoodies about. Instead it's just a low quality tape with shitty b-roll and bad sound.

When the phone rings the second the tape ends, he assumes it's the pizza guy getting lost again.

"I told you, it's Elm Street. Not Eve-"

"Seven days..." Your voice is scratchy with static and his heart jumps in his chest.

"Yo, I think you've got the wrong numb-"

Click.

For someone so into horror, he's real slow to pick up on the signs in his own life. Nightmares about a well and a dead girl? He just had too much Mountain Dew before bed. Doors creaking in the middle of the night? Must be the humidity messing with the hinges. The guy who sold him the tape calling him in a panic two days before his obituary shows up in the paper? Weird, but definitely a coincidence.

It's only when the tape starts playing on its own that he starts to get a little sketched out. It's probably just the VCR being old and stuff, right? He forces the tape out of the slot and the screen goes black. See? Just the side effects of old, obsolete technology. He's halfway out the door before he hears it.

Click.

He freezes. He can hear the static again, the sound of leaves crunching under your feet. He turns and there you are, getting closer and closer to the screen, your dress soaked and sticking to your skin.

Holy shit. Holy. SHIT. Haunted dead girl and she's a total babe.

When you put your palms on the glass and start pushing your way into the real world, he almost can't believe his luck. It's finally happening! A genuine haunting! He's been waiting for years.

You expect him to scream, to run away, to start praying to a God he only half believes in. Instead he squats down so you're on eye level and asks...

"Can you do the back bend thing from the Exorcist? 'Cause I think that would be like so hot."

You growl, throat still waterlogged. He tuts and waves the tape in front of your face.

"Full words babe. You want to keep haunting people right? Want to get back to your cozy little well?"

He looks you over and can barely believe you're real. A hot girl on her knees is his living room? Hell fucking yeah!

"Listen up hot stuff. You do what I say and I won't crush your little tape into dust, 'kay? I'll even let you keep killing people in your spare time, if it's that important to you."

You blink. What is wrong with this guy? You've seen plenty of coping mechanisms, but this is just taking the piss.

He gets impatient waiting for you to answer. "Fine. If you want to do things the hard way..."

He stands and brings the tape down on the edge of the coffee table. Hard. The plastic cracks right along the centre and small black chips scatter across the room.

You flinch and pull backwards. He follows you, opposite edges of the tape in each hand like he wants to snap it straight in half.

"What do you say gorgeous? We got a deal?"

There are some things not even a ghost is equipped to deal with.

"Fine," you rasp, "Deal."

"Sweet!" He shoves the tape in his back pocket. "Now about the back bend thing..."

The world is full of freaks and horrors. And you make the mistake of thinking you're the only one.

[What popped into my head when I read the ask]

[gbee333]

can you draw spamton and tenna holding pipis with a chalkboard with shitty names like "ashleigh" on it

iv had this sitting in my inbox for like months and months (the doodle I drew like on the day I got it as well, I just forgot to post it)

so here

idk

Sorry to the anon that will never see this prob for taking so long LMAO

[ladymirdan]

Konrad Curze rocking up to Perturabo, dressed only in a feather boa and old blood.

“Yo, Perty, can you build me a death maze that fucks someone of our caliber up not just physically but mentally so badly they go insane?”

“Technically yes.”

“Will you?”

“I have already designed one, it is based on what its like, being trapped in my own thoughts.”

“Dont care, I want to trap Vulkan in it.”

“Why?”

“Come on it will be fun. You know how like you trap your sims and they die horrifically”

“What the fuck is a sim?”

“I’ll show you.”

[virtuesolit]

"owing someone a black eye and 2 kisses" how about 🤤🤤🤤🤤how about I recieve 🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤the black eye and two kisses 🤤🤤🤤🤤

[kmpshitposter]

hi i dont know im just here because i keep staring at your p1 art. letting u know im going to be committing theft when u least expect it, taking him for my own. when he goes missing..................... know that he is happy. sort of. i might make him worse im still thinking about it

STOOP SKELTRR IM CRYING I'm so happy you like it cuz your and bug's art brings me somuch serotonin and inspiration!!! Steal whatever you want it's free real estate

5 sec marker stuff it's really tiny irl <З what

[phen00b]

guys they need votes

[thenamesart888]

Ugh...

"I use AI to create MY art"