#tothegeneralpublic

[ishkara-sounds]

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[bardgender69]

The First Fanfic Rant

MOTHER OF GOD. It's stories like these that remind me why I vehemently rejected writing fanfic for SO LONG. LEARN TO WRITE, YOU INCOMPETENT.... Now look, you're making me yell at my reader(s). It's not their fault your readers have to suffer through the utter ROT you turn out. Your spacing, while nothing if not consistent, is consistently wrong. I know you're not from here, but really, in what language is it okay to end your sentences like this ?And then start the next sentence without a space? STOP WRITING IN LANGUAGES YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!

Well, okay, I understand the thrill and the practicality, because you're learning English and everything, but REALLY? Don't publish on a site that SPECIFICALLY says to follow basic grammar rules. Keep them on your computer.

The ones that don't speak English get at least my sympathy. But people who speak English as their first language have NO EXCUSE and should have their fingers ritualistically cut off and burned. BURNED. You CANNOT call yourself a writer, even for 'fun', if you:

1) Misspell words. It's called SPELL CHECK. F7 in Microsoft Word. That little red squizzle is not there for decoration, asshat.

2) Misspell character names. This is worse than misspelling regular words. If you are writing, that means you devote enough time to a show to know how certain characters react and interact. You should know how to spell their friggin' names! SHAME ON YOU.

3) Don't know basic grammar skills. This is ESSENTIAL. If you don't know when you need a comma, when you need a period, and when you need an exclamation point or quotation marks, you fail at life and should hire someone to write everything that will be read by the general public. Or the not-so-general public. Or anyone but yourself.

4) Can't keep your tenses straight.

5) Write in a disjointed, diarrhea-of-the-fingers style so that only you and the people living in your head know what you mean. Um, hi. This is the rest of the world, and WE HAVE NO FRICKING CLUE WHAT YOU MEAN. (note: this is not your 'personal writing style', it's a shame and flat-out laziness)

There's probably more, and there's a whole 'nother list of personal stylistic things that drive me up the wall, out the door, and straight into the bloody loony bin, but I won't go into those things now. Those will probably be coming. Very soon.

If I seem sharp, it's because I have little patience for idiots and will freely admit myself to be a grammar Nazi. Not even attempting to follow the rules of grammar while and calling yourself a writer is tantamount to knowing the proper way to hold a football and saying you're an NFL draft pick.

That's all for now.