#touch speaks

[havethetouch]

I had to pay bail at the post office for them bc of course they wanted customs fees and of course the postman came when I was out shopping groceries. Thus. Side quest to get the Captain and the Sailor home but ahahaha finallyyyyyyy ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Captain it's Tuesday and u send me on a side quest.

(and lemme tell ya my Lil village has been in deep fog for a while now but today we had some sun so off I go and enjoy finally some sunlight since.. Idk I don't remember. Been a hot minute. Anyway. Step out of the post office and the ice fog rolls in again. Might have heard boss music on my player. So I hauled my ass back home fast lol)

@mirensiart the boys have arriveth in Austria <3 thank you so much and thanks in general for your art. Always a bright spot on my dash, especially on Tuesdays when I am already done with the week ❤️

[havethetouch]

Its tthe final countdown dadada dadada~ about to crawl up the walls the entire family is deeply unwell <3

[havethetouch]

Gonna write this down real quick to keep myself steady...

Watching this vid

(FYI this is my fav yter for body doubling while I clean, declutter and organize, has some great vids on how to basic clean, how to clean with depression, etc. Etc. Very soothing voice no music got that autsim swag cadence while he talks so really really dope for me personally when it comes to body doubling)

Anyway in this vid he talks about letting stuff go and while I'd like to think I improved massively on that front there is still room to grow. And in this vid he brings up paperwork and conveniently the example of if ur dad died and throwing out hospital docs and whatnot. Shit that makes u sad but you still hold onto out of a twisted sense of memory or obligation.

So this is what I am doing rn. Sorting through my father's paperwork and throwing out the things that do not need to live in my home. Like the hospital shit. The hospice shit. Documents from education programs his workplace sent him to.

And it's hard. It's really really hard I am not gonna lie. I don't need this. I don't need to keep it and I keep repeating this in my head and I am writing it down so I can keep going but it's hard and somehow makes me cry and I can't even explain.

Just. It's hard. But it's okay. I can do this. I will do this. There is no need to hold onto the things that make me sad. They do not need to be in my home and take up space. It is okay to let go. I do not need to keep any of this.

[havethetouch]

Bruh almost started sobbing in the pet shop. My emotions are very big today..

But shrimp is so so smoll. Who allowed you guys to be so effing smoll? 🥺

[havethetouch]

My body and mind are so de-syched lately it ain't even funny no more but there was so much shit to wrap up at work and in my private live too. 🙃

Heat ain't helping.

They said not to use trains unless absolutely nessecary bc the heat causes failures to the tracks bc metals expand in the heat and that might cause some issues so things are going great.

Guess who has to take the train tomorrow xD

Anyway I had words and stuff but Imma come back to that when the sun is down I think bc right now it just occurred to me that tomorrow is my last day at work and since I have to go to the office I need to do laundry and collect all electronic stuff I got loaned and save some files and and and.. Feels unreal. Knew the day would come but now it's here and I'm like... Dang it's the final countdown.

[havethetouch]

And today we tackle the nutcake of great grandmother, a Tiramisu which will be a first for me and bean based brownies. I also need to mow down some parts of my garden, which has time slots bc of quiet times on Saturday.

I also wanted to keep on sanding down the old rocking chair of great grandmother bc my dad started this project by taking it apart and started sanding a bit but he never finished that so I wanna finish that also rocking chair = cool AF. Also subject to mandated quiet times bc of the noise the sanding macgine makes but also yesterday that thing did some funky things and idk if it just ran to hot or if it is on its last legs HHHH fingers crossed it's the former.

There is also a lot do do inside bc my fridge screams for being cleaned out and I am halfway done though cleaning the pantry and reorganizing it in general (this is where the fridge lives too).

Also I wanted to clear out the living room so I can give the parkquett some tlc while dreaming about loaning a big machine to sand the entire floor down neat and reseal that shit but that is unfortunately not something to be done in one weekend especially not this weekend bc today there is a bday and tomorrow it is mother's day so my floor restoration dreams have to be shelved for another time.

What I actually wanted to say is that yesterday I did my nails on one hand in a galaxy pattern and it wasn't bad for a first time doing more than basecoat to protect my nails gig but I also either have very shitty nail polish or fucked up on thickness bc they never hardened fully so I was able to peel them off today in the morning and no at no time was any peel-off nail polish involved. Pretty sure normal ass basic nail polish that is neither UV or Gel is not supposed to come off in one piece and be bend about it but alas.

So I have a shitton of things I wanna do and meant to do today but I look at my hand and the peeled off galaxy nail pieces and feel very compelled to try again. (and also maybe my hair too, shearing, trimming, retouching my roots and recolour/touch up some colour's)

So today is and everything goes kinda day I guess.

[havethetouch]

Dad I love you and may you rest in peace but why the fuck did u throw bird feed willy nilly in the backyard.

I am finally in the position to deal with the issue but oh my god. Dunno what kinda ass field plant that shit is, rye looking mother fuckers have an impressive root system. The dried stalks cut one of my fingers and took a chunk of skin and tissue out of another. These fuckers have went unchecked for a bit too long bc I was too exhausted to deal with them.

The claw thingie I use to till the soil and rip up the root system is warped and bend and the middle prong has snapped at the welding points bc this metal tool was probably never meant to deal with this kinda stuff, the rootsystem is strong and thick but my arms are stronger so I think I might have to buy a replacement soonish.

But the sun is finally out so I am highly motivated to just dig in the dirt. So until the tool is obliterated completely imma fight some roots and soil ahahahaha.

[havethetouch]

One of our own is in labour since yesterday night and the entire family is a ball of nerves we are quite a useless bunch atm xD most spoken sentence today is "any news?".

Hhhhh the babe is wanted and already so so loved but dang if it doesn't take it's sweet time to make an appearance in this world. Boy your poor mama is exhausted.

I am plucking dandelion seeds to keep me from nervous tics so like.. I mean great many nutritious microgreens in my future but damn.