so now that i've got lily out, i saw it fit to post this little sort of follow-up piece that i did for it, as an additional insight into sunoo and the queen's relationship following the events of lily (although you don't need to have read lily to read this). i imagine this takes place sometime around fever, with sunoo being the one that gets all the boys trapped in the castle and down with the fever in the first place (which is a thought i've had rolling around in my head for a while).
tw for toxic/abusive relationships, gaslighting, arguing, crying, mild violence... yeah you get the idea
@honeyseungz @loabivey @angelhee
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"Did you do it?"
Sunoo stood stiffly, hands at his sides as he stood before the queen.
"I did," he said—his voice a shell of itself. Guilt twisted like a venomous snake in his gut.
The queen hummed her approval.
"Hmm, good. You've done well for me."
Every word she spoke made bile rise in his throat—her unwavering approval, her tender-handed affection, the poison-laced honey that dripped from her tongue with every smile. Cherry-red lips he could not look at, and so he stared at the hem of her gown instead.
"What's the matter, my sweet?" She had sensed that something was off—something amiss in the heart of her ever-willing servant. She moved forward in grand, sweeping gestures, placing the pads of her fingers under Sunoo's chin and lifting it in a move that made his breath hitch. Eyes the color of red wine stared back at him. "Everything is going to plan, and yet... you don't seem happy."
Sunoo couldn't tell if she was genuinely surprised, or just taunting him.
"I'm not," he said instead. How could he be? His friends' demises sown behind him, the needle in his ready hands. He had never been a steady tailor, and his fingers were riddled with pinpricks.
The queen's face twisted—lips pursed, eyebrows furrowed, and eyes filled with sickening sweet concern. "Why ever not? My little sun, don't you know you're getting everything you've every wanted?"
"I know," he said softly. I don't know what I want anymore, he thought.
Safety, warmth, stability—that was what he'd wanted. A steady hand, loyalty and love he would never have to question; protection from all the evils in the world. Wether he stated his wants aloud or not, she had known them, and provided. But the comfort he felt with her in his youth was long gone, now—her love was tainted, and he got no warmth from it. Her protection felt more like a cage from which he could not escape.
The queen gave a soft gasp. "It's them, isn't it?"
Sunoo brought his eyes back to her face again. "What?"
"The other boys," she said. "You're still attached to them. You feel bad for hurting them."
Sunoo couldn't help the incredulity that slipped into his voice as he said, "You thought I wouldn't?"
She shook her head and sighed. "I thought you had grown out of this." I thought you had figured out that I am the only one who would ever truly care for you.
Tears stung his eyes and the back of his throat, but he bit them back, unwilling to be so vulnerable in front of her—not here, not now. Not ever again.
She sighed, raising her hand to cup his cheek instead—he hated it. Hated how the slightest touch made his skin crawl, hated how he was frozen in place under her gaze, shackles holding his ankles to the ground. Hated it, hated it, hated it, hated her, hated himself for ever having loved her.
"I know it's... hard," she said, voice so soft though he knew it was only poison; the sugar-sweet lure at the bottom of a pitcher plant. "Letting go. Especially since you've help on for so long. But you must understand, Sunoo... their love is conditional. The second they hear of the things you've done, they'll cast you away without a second thought."
The words that went unsaid rang impossible loud in his ears. But I will not. I am the only one that won't. It was true, and he knew and hated it, the way she had him wrapped around her finger—the corner that he had backed himself into.
He jerked away from her touch as if he had been burned, eyes boring into her like hot coals. "And yours isn't?" He spat. "You say their love is conditional, and yet you ask so much of me, make me your slave with that exact same promise—love. And all so you can get to him."
His words were hot ash, pouring down on her skin, and yet she only shook her head and laughed sardonically. "You hate me for telling the truth," she said.
"I hate you," he seethed, "for keeping me here." And I hate myself, for being unable to break free.
The queen tutted softly, taking one of his hands in hers. "Whatever happened to the sweet little boy from the woods, hm?" The boy that didn't question, didn't doubt, the boy that would blissfully obey her every whim.
He left the moment you decided to make me into a puppet, Sunoo wanted to say, but didn't.
Unable to control himself any longer, Sunoo lunged forward, hands gripping her shoulders and propelling them both forward until she hit the wall on the other side of the castle. The stone cracked behind her—great fissures spiderwebbing out from the place of impact, reaching all the way to the great marble ceilings. But all she did was laugh; laugh, an impossibly bitter sound.
"You're only helping prove my point, you know," she said as he growled. "What would the others think, if they saw this side of you?"
And again his breath caught, knowing her words to be true—a sob rocketed past his lips before he could curb it. She raised both hands to cup either side of his face, wiping the tears away.
"They wouldn't understand," she said softly. "Wouldn't love you. Not like I do."
Sunoo nodded rapidly, the tears only coming faster by the second. He hated being here, under her gaze, wrapped in her touch—and yet it was the only place he truly felt safe. "I'm sorry," he choked, fisting hands in the sleeves of her gown. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, so sorry-"
"It's alright," she said gently. Softly she brought him into her arms; put a hand on the back of his head, lead it to rest in the crook of her neck. "It's alright; you can cry, now."
