The C-Train is an odd place sometimes. You will meet the strangest people under the most unusual circumstances. There are those who understand train etiquette and those who completely ignore it, but somehow it all flows together, like a well executed dance.
The worst part about riding the train is the sensory overload that occurs. There are things that should never be seen, heard, or smelt on the train, yet we all experience them nonetheless. I've seen excessive amounts of people pick their nose and wipe it on the seat. I've heard more conversations about venereal diseases and horrible doctor's visits than I would care to recall. I've had my fair share of forgot-how-the-washing-machine-works odors waft towards me from the moldy bachelor and the shirt he's been wearing for the past 34 days.
Let me just take a moment to dedicate an entire paragraph to how horrible people smell. I can't handle it. Why do people think it is OK to go out into public smelling like they rolled around in a trash heap? And after they leave, their odor lingers in the cars like they walked around rubbing their armpits on every surface of the train. It's like, hey guys, there's this handy device that we like to call a shower; it makes you bearable to the human senses.
Ok, moving on to the next rant.
During my train experiences, numerous men have tried to convince me to "come to a party at their place" with them, to which they received a vicious glare as their response. (I've learned never to be nice and give them a reason for not attending their "party". They will just push and push until eventually they try to physically "encourage" me to go with them. Just glare and look as hateful as you possibly can. Advice from a seasoned professional.)
More times than I would care to count, I've been in close proximity to a drunk individual who attempts to start a fight. In ordinary circumstances, it would be easy for me to just run away, but unfortunately, due to the train being a moving vehicle, I am locked in with the psychos until the train stops.
Although I have to say, one of the worst situations you can be put in while on the train is when you're sitting by a stranger, and another bench completely empties. Hallelujah! You could sit by yourself! But then you are posed with the awkward decision of whether or not you should move spots. While there may have been nothing wrong with the stranger you were sitting beside, moving spots away from him to sit by yourself on the train is like saying, "I hate you. You never should have been born."
Strangely enough, I actually harbour some strange affection for the C-Train, despite how often I complain about it. It's really a love hate relationship. I have to experience the daily horrors of train life, but the train gets me to school faster than a bus. My eyes may sting from the stench of the person who thought it was OK to bring a garbage bag full of compost on the train, but the train brings me within walking distance of anywhere I could ever have to go.
Train, what I'm trying to say to you is, "I love you. But I also hate you. So get your act together. Also, what are those monstrosities you're calling 'new train cars'? They're the worst things ever invented. Who actually fits in those tiny little child seats? NO ONE. I hate having the people next to me overflow onto my lap."
