Okay I'm OFFICIALLY on my bullshit again since my friend asked me last night how I'd write Rogue and then i saw the mutants as disability representation post this morning and like, yeah I've been thinking about that with her for a few years as well as thinking about like, the mutants who DON'T get cool powers but instead get like... acid sweat but no acid-impervious skin. then i saw a take that I personally consider to be dogwater in that the reason why rogue and magneto could never be endgame in comics is because she's trying to rely on herself and if they were together she'd let him be in charge and it sent me to the moon because something I've become more and more convinced of over the years as I think about her and her powers and what they do to her is that Rogue will NEVER be fully independent. She will ALWAYS need a carer or some capacity AND THAT'S OKAY! GOOD EVEN!
Marvel loves to fucking retcon and make shit up with her powers but one of the negative side effects of powers is that she ends up with the fragments of other people's minds in her head and that this can scramble her really badly. It's why she even joined the X-Men in the first place. Issues around this part of her powers come up again and again, there are times she literally does not know who she is, where she thinks she is literally someone else. This is EXACTLY the kind of person who NEEDS someone in their life who can take care of both mundane life shit to make sure she didn't forget to pay bills as well as be able to walk her back into her own identity. Like we SEE what happens when she DOESN'T have this during the 80s around the Australia era when Carol's memories effect Rogue and then Carol's psyche is just straight up stealing Rogue's body and no one does ANYTHING to help her. We SEE how distraught Rogue is, how muddled and scared.
And lemme make this clear it's not about shipping. By nature of the fact they are married THIS IS REMY'S JOB NOW!!!! THIS IS HIS RESPONSIBILITY!!! HE IS ROGUE'S CARER!!!!!! To say that Magneto is disqualified in the long run because she'd "depend on him too much" is just... it's not thinking it through. There's plenty of more valid reasons to say "nah" to Mags but like... his steadiness and ability to lead is NOT one of them. That's literally one of the POSITIVES of him as a partner! Especially for someone like Rogue who realistically needs a consistent person in her life to help her keep her shit together. Like one of the GOOD things about her being married to Remy is that this means she does have that consistent support now, but that also means by their logic that Remy is now her "crutch" because who is she gonna turn to when she's falling apart? Remy. Her Carer. "Oh but he's her husband it's different that's part of marriage!" it's not. You can be married to a disabled person and not be their carer, you can also be married to one and be their sole carer. The two are not synonymous, they are two separate roles but they DO tend to have overlap in a relationship like this. If you love someone with a disability, mental or physical so intense they need consistent assistance you are signing up for real work, and because you love them it's something you do willingly and probably even happily but there's plenty of disabled people with partner who are not doing it willingly or happily or at all because we frame as a society as a burden (and also because those people suck).
There is no 1 for 1 for analogy or whatever with Rogue's powers for both the physical or mental aspects but when I try to think about mental illnesses or conditions that are kinda similar, have similar effects or kind of feel spiritually similar I end up with: Dementia, Psychosis/Delusions, and DID (kinda). I'm not like, a professional or anything but these are the things I know of that have some kind of similarity or like, feel similar enough to use for a lose reference. Dementia has memory issues along with cognitive issues and personality changes — someone with a jumble of other people's brain scraps in their head is likely going to have memory issues, cognitive issues like trouble communicating or confusion/disorientation. Psychosis/Delusion because how else can you try to get into the like, thoughts/feelings/realities/etc of say, waking up convinced you're someone else and that someone has done something to "change" things and "trick" you and everyone is lying to you about it. How else do you get into the kinda unreality elements of her condition? DID is kind of the one I'm the most nebulous about because while in some ways it's the most obvious I also just — like they're different you know? Her powers and DID are fundamentally different. But it is something that gets into sharing a body and it is possible to have negative relationships with alters.
Carol's psyche first truly takes over after Rogue is molested in a Genoshan prison camp, Carol breaks her out and gets her and Wolverine to safety. But then she keeps coming out more and more and changing Rogue's living space, her clothes, even getting her hair cut. Carol even down plays the assault later when Rogue is upset after her latest takeover and is crashing out over the possibility that Carol will take over completely one day and how none of the X-Men care about that. Carol forcibly takes Rogue over while Rogue is still talking and then downplays her distress and trauma then goes shopping. Like..... this is not wholly divorced from the experience of someone with DID if perhaps you know... chock full of that fictionalized fantasy drama juice.
But all of these have in common that they kinda NEED SOMEONE be it a doctor or therapist or family member or friend who helps them keep track of things and deal with the worst parts of it or the bad episodes. Rogue has experienced dissociative amnesia, someone's probably gonna need to fill her in on what happened and make sure the bills got paid during that time. She likely needs to do consistent work, even when she's in control of her powers with telepaths to manage the psychic residue and keep it to a dull roar so she can stay coherent. Just because she can control when she takes things in doesn't mean that aspect of stuff piling up has stopped.
AND I THINK THIS IS A GOOD THING! I think that Rogue being ROGUE and doing all the shit she does while also needing to check in with someone to make sure she's on top of things and doing alright and needing regular check ins with the doc is GOOD. It's not really the kind of representation you really see, especially in a hero or superhero. And I think it's especially powerful considering that in comics Rogue has genuinely tried to get herself "cured" of her mutation and likely would've died in the attempt if not saved by Mystique. The idea of someone who was so self-loathing and hated how she worked and how it kept her from connecting with others now much more comfortable and understanding of her condition and seeing her succeed in building a life she never thought she'd have, one where a FUNDAMENTAL PART OF IT is having someone she's deeply connected to who helps her keep grounded is like.... IT'S GOOD FOOD. Independence can look VERY different for LOTS of people and this is a form of that! Xavier's wheelchair allows him freedom and independence, Rogue having a carer helps her keep her mind sound which allows her the mental faculties to make the choices she wants to make.