Archie didn’t hold the capability to express how he felt; least of all with words, especially when he was deathly afraid of the consequences due to the emotions that were inflicted upon him. Sometimes though, in the roughest of circumstances he couldn’t help himself. This. This was one of those moments. Archie reads and re-reads the texts delivered from Maddox’s cell phone over and over again. He can’t go over there, Archie won’t allow it. Knowing that he’s that terrified, that he’s not willing to fight his mother or even explain the situation to her upset him, made him think and see that perhaps the situation was harder to bare , deal with that he’d ever allow himself to imagine. It’s in this moment that he makes his decision, one that would and could change his life for the worst. Maddox was worth it. Archie would never express Shakespearean texts to the lad, he’d never serenade him with the latest John Legend song, and he’d never write speech after speech about how his eyes glowed in the summer sun. It wasn’t in his nature; girls and guys alike, but he would kill for him, would die for him. He did perceive this as of more importance, actions spoke louder than words, words were fickle, they meant nothing; even his own, especially his own. When he suggested that Maddox meant nothing to him, he didn’t mean a word of it; but nurture had taught him to believe it, to believe that being gay was wrong, that people whom allowed themselves to succumb to such desires deserved all they received but he didn’t think so, not since meeting him.
Maddox was the light in the darkness, he made him smile during the hardest times. Maddox was the only thing he thought about anymore, the only thing he cared about and he knew he deserved more. He deserved so much more, deserved to see every single side of Archie; including those that would present how he felt but he was afraid; afraid of his father, afraid of himself. Maddox deserved more and he’d leave and he’d get bored and he’d never feel this distinct amount of adoration that he hid every single day of his life. It would never be returned, he couldn’t believe that. Believing that you will be loved, and looked after was a mistake because in the end, despite it all; we were alone, had to be. Had to be dependent on ourselves, had to be aware that the eventuality of loneliness will his us like a train, and it’s all he’d allow himself to believe. Anything else left him weak, defenceless. He couldn’t be that; he’d never be that. Maddox deserved the world on a diamond platter, he didn’t deserve anything that Anne had perpetrated upon him and he’d never believe that; no matter what he said, he’d never believe that. Maddox deserved to be loved, to be held, to be aware of how ridiculously beautiful he was, how smart, how brave. He deserved light touches, and kind hearted words and Archie would give him those, partially, when he could. It was a leap of faith allowing yourself to love and believe that you’re loved in return. He’s still at the cliff edge, but he’s willing himself to jump, to allow himself to fall completely and truly in whatever he and Maddox could be.
Getting up hastily, he paces into the bathroom, clinging onto both ends of the sink. He stares himself down, talks himself into what’s about to occur. Just a little word with her, that’s all. He thinks. Though deep, deep down in the very pits of his mind he knows that it won’t be the case. She won’t listen, words weren’t his forte but actions; they were. After a moment he lets out a shaky breath, closes his eyes and imagines what could happen afterwards, the costs of his plan. A few tears blur his vision as his lids flicker open almost cutely despite what he’s about to do. He knows what could happen. That he could lose Maddox but it would be worth it, he’d force himself to believe it because at least he’d no longer be in pain, he’d no longer be afraid. Maddox would find someone new quickly, find someone who treated him the way in which he deserved, he’d be someone that he used to know, but he’d be safe. A hand raises, rubs against one side of his visage in order to wake himself up. His heart is racing in the confines of his chest. This was it, it was happening and he wouldn’t talk himself out of it. Clawing at his hair, pushing it backwards he nods the once. He’s ready, he’s raring to go. He doesn’t get changed, doesn’t take a thing with him merely charges over there and a simple knock at the door is the noise of his change; of his life, of Maddox’s and you could also say Anne’s also.
At it opens he forces himself inside the house; he couldn’t consider it a home. No one could; not wishing to make a scene outside on the porch, for someone to stop his plans before they’d even been put into motion. Slamming the door behind him and pushes her against the wall. ❛Don’t you fucking touch or go near Maddox again do you hear me?!❜ He starts, and the only response he receives is a scoff and a smirk. It frustrates him, a growl emits from his coral brims as he pushes her against the back of the wall harder this time, jaw locking due to the reaction. ❛I fucking mean it!❜ He shouts, screams even because she wasn’t listening. She wouldn’t listen, just like he suspected. ‘I do what I want’ She whispers calmly, and his brows furrow, fists clench into her shirt, perhaps catching some of her skin also. Hate is a strong word, and despite acting like he hates a large majority of the world, she’s the only one he feels genuinely such an emotion about. ‘So feisty...Shame you’re not my type…’ Her faces is enough to cause a pang of rage within him. ❛No, that’s not how this works…❜ A soft laugh escapes his own brims as he shakes his head, keeps her firmly against the wall. He doesn’t know what’s going to occur, what will have to occur but he’s not leaving the building until he’s sure that Maddox is safe. ‘Honey, that is exactly how this works.’ He tried not to listen, close his eyes and his mind to the shit that escaped her lips, trying to control his fury, trying to contain the pain that was being inflicted upon him inwardly due to them. ‘He loves it, deserves it.’ He’s never been this mad, never felt so much hatred, so much disgust of a person before. He knows that he’s more delicate than he allows himself to be perceived and it’ll only take a few more words to make him snap. ‘It’s funny, because you act all high and mighty…When you’re just as bad as me.’ And that’s it, it’s something he’s been deathly afraid of since he’d found out, but hearing it from the bitches mouth. It hurt, it hurt more than he was willing to admit and he couldn’t cry it out, no; he had to force her to pay for the way he now felt. It was all here fault after all.
❛No!❜ The wrath is plain to see and so very hard to ignore. Picking up the closest item to him, some bookend or something of the sort he presumes, he hits her over the head; her eyes widen, and for the first time ever he gets some sort of negative emotion from her. She yelps, yells for him to stop but he doesn’t. The anger has overtaken his body and mind, the fury controls him and it’s no use now. He hits her, over and over again and he feels no guilt, no remorse; that could change, in time. There’s some sort of adrenaline rush, and that’s so sick, he’s watching the life leave her eyes, leave her skin as he continues to wreck here skin, destroy the life of the woman who’d inflicted pain against the person he loved more than he’d ever be able to say. Blood covers not only her form, but his own; and the walls, and the floor. Once he believes she’s suffered enough, when there’s some form of indentation in her skin, and when she’s laying their lifeless he allows himself to breathe again; heavily, bloody arm rising to rub against red face. Heart is racing so eagerly it’s almost as if it wants to escape this position he’s caught in and the significance of it. He was no longer just a bad boy, he was a murderer and that label was so much harder to remove; impossible, even. Checking her pulse his eyes close, she’s gone; dead to the world and it’s all his fault, he took a life and he’ll never get over it. She deserved every single second of it but life wasn’t the same now, it wasn’t the same, falling against the wall and sliding down it, his legs move close to his chest, tears falling from his emerald hues as he tries to calm himself down, make himself believe once again that this was necessary, that how he felt right this very minute would quickly go away. Taking his phone out of his pocket and placing it in shaky hands he sends Maddox, the ray of hope he has left a message and merely waits, hoping that despite this end, there won’t be another due to it.
