"can i request a hurt/comfort chapter where Copia is trans and Nihil is unsupportive and the reader comforts him <3? also if you could can the reader be transmasc or gender neut?"
Summary: Overhearing Papa Nihil talking about Copia never really ends in the greatest way, and unfortunately, Copia hears it this time. At least he finds you for comfort.
Word count: 1,187
TW: the beginning does deal with intentional misgendering and this fic does hint towards past abuse
“For the last time, no. She’s not ready.”
“Papa!”
“No, Sister! I don’t want to hear it anymore!” His tone softens. “Why can’t you see that this is breaking tradition?”
“Oh, to hell with your traditions!”
But Copia couldn’t stick around to hear the rest of the conversation. It felt like a knife had been stabbed through his throat as he breathed heavily, trying his hardest to blink back tears. He knew he shouldn’t have listened in. Papa Nihil never did have anything cheerful to say. Ever since Copia had cut his hair and started going through the process of transitioning, the man had grown cold to him. It seemed like every chance he got, Papa Nihil would remind him he would never be a true Papa.
His tears blind him as he walks aimlessly through the abbey, holding himself tightly as he chokes back sobs. He thought that maybe, just maybe, Papa Nihil was finally starting to come around.
Oh, what a fool he was.
He sees you in the distance, trying to shovel food inside your mouth. Through his sorrow, he vaguely remembers you asking him earlier if he wanted anything when going out with Omega and he had declined. He wishes he had accepted now. Maybe then he’d have something comforting to eat as he dealt with his emotions. But still, he chokes out your name, catching your attention and scaring you.
“Don’t tell Sister!” you yell through the wad of food in your mouth, but you stop when you notice his disheveled look and swallow what’s in your mouth. “Copia? Hey, hey, what’s going on?”
“Papa! He’s-” He finally breaks, his body trembling as he lets out a pitiful wail. You’re right by his side in a second, pulling him into your arms as you softly shush him. He sobs into your shoulder, holding you tightly as his fingers curl into your shirt.
“C’mon. Let’s go find somewhere better to sit.” You lead him out of the abbey, catching the attention of Sister Imperator on the way. You see how she visibly deflates at the look of Copia clinging to you as he heavily sobs, but you don’t spare her a second glance. She should’ve learned to keep that old man of hers on a tighter leash, and that’s a point you decide you’ll bring up to her later in those exact words. But for right now, Copia needs you.
You two had bonded over similar experiences. You had joined the abbey towards the end of your transition and Copia had been more than amazed by your looks. In the back of the library, you had told him all about what you had gone through, though you had kept your family out of it. Really, you were trying your best to forget they ever existed.
Still, he had been gentle when you granted him permission to touch your face. He had brushed his knuckles against your cheeks and made his way down to your jaw.
“Is this how it will be for me?” he had asked in a breathy voice. “Will I become as handsome as you, amico?”
“I’m sure you’ll look even better,” You gave him a smile. “And I’ll be with you every step of the way. You ever need anything, just come find me.”
Well, Copia had taken that to heart. You were his confidant and the only one who knew his deepest darkest secrets. These problems with Papa Nihil weren’t new, but they were finally getting to him. It broke your heart seeing someone so innocent go through something like this.
The pond inside the garden is luckily empty and you two sit by the water’s edge. Copia’s still crying, but it’s not as heavy as it was when he started. You keep him close to your side, rubbing his back and pressing a soft kiss to his temple.
“It’s okay. I’m right here,” you remind him. “Do you wanna talk about it?”
“I just want to know why,” he breathes, shakily inhaling. “Am I really that delusional? Is what he says true?”
“Of course not!” You hate how easy it is for someone to get into his head. You know he clings on to every little thing he’s told and it only fuels your anger towards Papa Nihil. “Copia, look at me.” And he does, those bloodshot, mismatched eyes making your heart ache. “I don’t want you to ever listen to him, okay? There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“What was it like? For you?” His question actually digs up all of the emotions you decided to bury when you joined the abbey. All of the memories you tried to forget and all of the screaming and crying came back. But you can’t show weakness. Not in front of Copia. You have to be strong. For both of you.
“I went through the same thing,” you confess. “My family wasn’t… supportive. They didn’t understand – they didn’t try to understand, even though I tried to explain it multiple times.” You try to stay monotone, but you notice how your voice wavers a bit. You inhale deeply, giving him a sad smile. “You know, my family said the same thing to me.”
“They did?” It’s small, but you can hear that tiny hint of hope in his voice.
“Stand tall and fuck ‘em.” You tell him firmly, squeezing his shoulder. He lets out a soft laugh. “The only thing that matters is that you’re happy.”
“Sometimes I wonder if I am truly happy, though.”
“Let me ask you something: who do you wanna be, Copia?”
“I…” He trails off, like he’s lost. You know he’s scared you’ll judge him. But you already know his answer.
“Tell me who you wanna be,” you encourage him softly. “and I can help set you free.”
“I wanna be me.” And it’s the first time in a while that he sounds confident. It makes you smile. “I want to be Copia! I want to be my own person and I want to be comfortable in my own skin!”
“Then so be it!” It’s the same thing you said to yourself when you had asked yourself that same question. You’re glad he gave you the same answer. “We’re gonna make it happen. I’ll always be with you. Every step of the way.”
“Thank you.” He’s smiling at you, hopeful and finally happy. He leans in, pressing his lips against yours. You’re surprised at first, but you cup his cheek and kiss him back. It’s slow, but there’s so much emotion behind it that you melt against him.
When he finally pulls back, his lips are still parted, eyes lidded as he stares at you anxiously. You give him a smile.
“Took you long enough,” you laugh softly.
“I was worried you wouldn’t like it,” he confesses.
“I liked it very much.” He finally smiles, laying his head on your shoulder as you press another kiss to his head. You look at the burrito still in your hand, having grown cold since you two started your conversation. You hold it out to him. “You want a bite?”
