Leo - Just Leo 2
Characters by @lumosinlove
Thank you to elisa my beta <3
And thank you everyone for being invested! I did not expect people to care that much, but I'm happy you did :))
part 1
TW: coming out, anxiety, stess
He started sobbing. This is ridiculous. Everything was alright. Nothing had gone wrong. He could cry if they rejected him. He could cry, if everything he feared for became reality. He should not do it now. He had no reason to.
Finn’s hand on his back and Logan’s on his knees, drawing small circles with his thumbs, grounded him a bit. He tried to focus on his breathing. Leo knew the process. He counted things in his head, took a few more deep breaths and the tears pretty much stopped again. He could feel a hand on his cheek.
Finn wiped away the wetness there and Leo had to actively hold back the new ones that were threatening to roll down. He inhaled deeply.
“There you go.”, came in Finns voice from next to him. “Are you alright, baby?”
Leo only nodded. He didn’t trust himself with words just yet. He should take a few minutes to calm himself down and then tell them. Bursting into tears in between his words wouldn’t be good for any of them.
Finn’s hand stopped on his back, feeling the muscles underneath it relax. He slowly got up and went to the kitchen.
“He’ll just get you some water. Can I do anything else for you, Nutty?”, Logan asked as he also got up to move next to Leo, his hand replacing Finns.
Leo shook his head. He could feel his throat getting less tight and letting more air through. Maybe even enough to start the conversation, the one he wanted to have for quite a while now.
He hadn’t practiced. He still had no clue what to say, but he had his boys next to him and his determination had returned.
Leo downed the glass Finn had brought him. It helped, he was positive, he would get out more than a sentence without crying again. He could do this.
“So”, he croaked out the same fucking opener he wanted to use less. Now was not the time to try to change his habits.
“So”, he tried again. Fuck it. “I have something I wanted to talk about with you.”
Both of his boys looked at him. He felt less nervous now that he had started and was still feeling their hands on his back and knees. He turned a bit to face them both more fully.
Just start in some way.
“I don’t want you to call me your boyfriend anymore.”
And damn. He could have said anything else and it would have been less stupid. He needed to fix this. Logan’s hand was no longer on his back and Finns had simply fallen to the ground next to his feet. He looked over to Logan, who’s eyes were beginning to become shiner than usual. He looked hurt.
Of course he looked hurt dumbass, you basically told them you want to break up with them. He hit himself mentally for his poor choice of words.
“Leo, do you not want to be in a relationship with us anymore?”, Finn asked softly, his bottom lip worried between his teeth.
Seeing both of them this distressed at once seemed to snap him out of his paralysis.
“No! No, no, no, no, no. I really, really don’t. I would never. You two are the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much I meant it differently. I’m sorry.”, Leo had forgotten to take a breath in between. He needed to correct his mistake. He needed them to know how much they meant to him.
Finn’s expression turned into a more relaxed one, which quickly became confused. “I love you, too. Why don’t you want to be called our boyfriend anymore though?”
Finn left the question open ended. He provided no potential answers. He didn’t try to guess what was going on, he just asked and Leo was grateful for it.
He started again. “If I’m going to say this, I need to say it all at once. So until I’m done with the main part, please don’t interrupt me, yeah? I don’t know where this bravery is coming from, but it’s bound to leave at some point. Can you do that?”
He looked at Finn, who nodded. They both looked over at their boyfriend. Logan was clearly still not over the fact that, Leo almost told them he wanted to end their relationship. A few tears had rolled down his cheeks and Leo moved his hand to wipe them away, tilting his head up so green eyes met blue.
“Can you listen to me, sweetheart?”
Another tear rolled down Logan’s face and Leo wiped that one away too. He saw the brunet nodding.
Okay, here goes ... everything, he thought to himself.
“I’d like you to use they/them pronouns for me, please.”, Leo saw things click behind Finns eyes, but they both knew Leo wasn’t done, so the boys listened as they continued. “I’ve thought about this for a good amount of time and I’m not completely sure how I feel, but I don’t feel like I’m a cis man. I know I’m trans. I figured that out, but I don’t know what label would fit me best yet. I do however know, I’m not a man and I’m not a woman. That’s why I’d like to try out they/them pronouns.”, their stare was fixed on the ground. Leo couldn’t bear to look their boys in the eye. They couldn’t bear a rejection. Curiosity got the better of them though, and dragged their blue eyes slowly off the ground and into brown and green ones.
Leo knew, their eyes must look stressed, nervous or even desperate, but they needed some kind of reaction.
“If I call you Leo, are you fine with that?”, Logan’s voice came from beside him. Not disgusted or distant, just as loving and considerate as it always was. Hope bloomed in Leo’s chest.
“Yes.”, they answered the question. “Leo is perfect. It’s gender-neutral and I like it. It makes me feel comfortable. Thank you for asking.”
This didn’t feel real. Neither Logan nor Finn had moved a muscle in an effort to get up or scream at them or push them away. They were both simply sitting on the couch next to them, listening.
Finn must have seen the distressed expression on Leo’s face and moved closer, his thigh touching the blonds. At least Leo now knew he couldn’t be that disgusted with them, that he couldn’t even bear to touch them. That wasn’t a lot, but it was a piece of hope Leo didn’t want to let go.
“Peanut, baby. We love you.”, Logan moved closer to them as well, putting his hand back on Leo’s back, “We love you for you. That will never change. I don’t care what your gender is, the thing I care about is that you are you. That you’re comfortable in your own skin and feel understood and accepted and loved. Unconditionally.”
Leo was so close to tears again and when one slipped down their cheek, they couldn’t help but let the rest stream down as well. They weren’t sad, but the pure relief they felt was enough to coat their cheeks with tears.
Logan and Finn knew. Both of them just moved closer and hugged Leo. It was grounding and it actually slowed the sobs down that had started escaping their lips again. Just as Finn pulled back and kissed them on the cheek, Logan whispered in his ear, “Sweetheart, we love you for you, not for your gender. Nothing can change that.”
~~~
The following Monday, there was luckily no practice, so they all slept in. The doorbell was what woke them up at about 9 am.
Finn grumbled something an got up, kissing them both, Leo on the shoulder and Logan on his cheek, maybe whispering something, but Leo was still to sleepy to care.
What they did however care about, was Logan getting up as well, leaving them alone in their bed, cold and with no body heat to snuggle into.
After a few minutes of rolling around, trying to get comfortable again and failing, they reluctantly got up as well.
“Leo!”, he heard a shout from the main room.
Answered by Finn in an almost scolding tone. “Let them sleep, Logan. They had a few stressful days.”
It warmed Leo’s heart to hear them use their pronouns correctly, even after only a day.
Their boys were in the living room, grinning at them like they knew something Leo didn’t. They probably did.
Leo was almost in front of them as they pulled out, what had been behind their backs.
Light blue, pink and white was staring back at them. Logan and Finn had bought them a trans pride flag.
Both of them were beaming and Leo couldn’t help themselves from covering their faces in kisses. They really were loved.
“We can get another one, if you decide on a label, you like more, but we got you this. You also don’t have to keep it, we just thought you might like it.”, Finn told them.
“And it’s a part of you and as we in this household love all things Leo Knut related, we wanted to have a symbol for that. For you figuring out your feelings.”, Logan added. He got a bit quieter at the end, like he was questioning if they had done the wrong thing.
Leo’s eyes, their fucking eyes, just didn’t want to give them a break. Tears were starting to form again and they had no way of stopping them. Logan and Finn accepted them. Not only that, they embraced Leo’s gender identity. And they had shown them, just like Eloise and Wyatt had.
“Thank you.”, Leo got out through their tears, “I love you both so, so much.”