I wish you would write a fic where... remus and draco have a conversation about being trans (while harry and sirius are off...i don't know...throwing tennis balls at old portraits who knows)
Well, you certainly got my number with this one, very anonymous person who I do not know at all - thank you, love. I adored writing it.
Huge thanks to @theonlywolfpants for the beta.
CW for implied past abuse/transphobia (nothing explicit).
'Does it ever get easier?'
The question is abrupt, cutting through Lou Reed's gravelly tones and the sounds of Harry and Sirius arguing over the motorbike outside. Through the window, Remus can see Sirius throw his head back and laugh as Harry smacks him with a spanner.
Just a perfect day
Drink Sangria in the park
It is a perfect day, today; one that makes the war seem a million years ago, though it's just been shy of two. Each day, they get better. Harry gets fewer nightmares, Sirius spends less time as Padfoot, Remus finds the full moons more bearable.
Remus sighs a little and places his knife down, looking over at the young man beside him.
Oh it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with you
'Do you want the honest answer?'
Draco's breath hitches a little, and then he nods. He still hunches, even since Sirius paid for his surgery; like he's determined to take up as little space as possible.
Remus remembers what he was like before, and part of him almost misses the arrogant brat who refused to face a Boggart.
Since finding out what that Boggart was, Remus can't blame him.
Oh such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
'It didn't get easier for a long time,' Remus finally says, and the words hang heavy in the air between them. Draco swallows, and his eyes cast downwards; the same grey eyes that Sirius inherited.
'But, you see,' Remus continues, 'I got better at being myself. People say be yourself like it's simple to figure out who that is. Even after I came out, I still spent years having no fucking clue who I was, no clue what the rest of the world saw.'
'How did you figure it out?' Draco asks, twisting at the threads of his jumper, half chopped courgette spilling across the bench.
Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
'I still don't know what the rest of the world sees, most of the time,' Remus admits, and they both smile as Sirius smudges engine oil across Harry's cheek, transforming into Padfoot and bowling him over. 'But I know this. I know I'm a husband. I know I'm a teacher. I know that I regret being too insecure and young to believe in the love of my life when it mattered. I know he regrets the same.
'I know that Harry feels completely loved for the first time in his life, and I know that he looks at you like you hung the bloody stars.'
Draco laughs, a little wetly.
You made me forget myself
I thought I was someone else, someone good
'I know that bad isn't always bad, and good isn't always good, and that if I could kill your father, I would.'
Draco goes silent for so long that Remus thinks he's overstepped, but when he glances at him again, Draco's hands are trembling, and he's reaching for Remus, steadying his fingers against his palm. Remus closes his eyes and breathes.
'I know that the four of us are a family.'
Draco lets out a sob, and then Remus is pressing him into his chest, holding his slight frame as he shakes.
They stay like that for a while.
'I know,' Remus eventually says, very soft, 'that you are exactly who you are meant to be, and one day you will look at your body, and it will be yours.'
Draco nods against his chest, and then pulls back slightly, wiping his eyes.
Outside, Harry yells at Sirius to get cleaned up before dinner, and he turns and looks through the window, sunlight streaming across his face and glinting off his glasses. There's black oil all over his dark brown skin, and his smile is happy and crooked, and he's holding a single daisy.
'He brings me a new one every single day,' Draco mutters, rubbing his nose.
'See?' Remus raises his eyebrows at him and turns back to the courgettes. 'That's a thing you know.'
'That my boyfriend is a bloody sap?'
Remus bursts out laughing, shaking his head.
'No. That every day brings new life.'
Draco smiles, gentle and dimpled, and the kitchen is filled with light and the smell of rosemary when Harry and Sirius come bounding in, Harry immediately grabbing Draco's face and kissing the tear tracks from his cheeks.
Remus sighs as Sirius' arms wind around his waist, engulfing him in the scent of leather and sunshine.
In the corner, the record spins, and the song fades out.
You're going to reap just what you sow
You're going to reap just what you sow
If you would like, please send me a prompt starting with "I wish you would write a fic where..." and I will give you more queer joy xx
