I hate when people say that I was “Born in the wrong body” as if I am an accident of nature. Because, you see, I am trapped in the wrong body - Constantly, consistently- but tapped by society, not nature. Its being looked at and appraised by eyes that consider me solely through the light of their own experience. Its friends, family, strangers, carving me up and dividing me out and presenting me back to myself as lacking, and in the need of their own interpretation. This is how I am not trans enough. This is not I will never be masculine enough. This- my voice- is too feminine. These- my eyes, my lips, my chin- can only ever be those of a woman.
I am not just a boy trapped in the body of a girl. I cannot be so easily defined, Can you? If you see me with eyes clouded by a life time of false assumptions and lies, its not really me you're seeing at all. The body you're placing on me is of your making, not mine- and I want you to take it back and let it go.
Yes- I’m transgender. But in the same way that being male or female for you is so much deeper and more complex than the stereotyped labels that society as imposed, my identity- who I am- is just as unique and personal. I can’t be deciphered by which bathroom I use. I am wonderfully and indefinably human- just like you. We are all greater than the sum of our parts.
I don’t want us to stand facing each other, pushing outward, trying to impress the other with the singular view that we have. I want you to stand next to me, and me to you, and share with me what I see with you and what you see with me. Whatever gender we are.
I am trying to see you. Please try and see me.