#trans stuff ish

[mythomagically-delicious]

today i got hit by a wave of regret that I didn’t choose the name “joshua” and idk where it came from so like. New middle name guys!!

[mark-me-down-right-there]

So when I’m at work it really hits me over and over all day that it sucks being misgendered bc, uh, duhh, there’s about 10 coworkers and a couple hundred customers calling you “dear, young lady, honey, darling, [dead name], girl” and it s u c ks

so I made a sticker in the back with the orange dots we use to mark the salads that says “

MARK he/him

on it. because I just wanted to have a small reminder I could slip in my pocket when it sucked most that I could look at and feel better bc I know who I am, at least, even if I can’t come out at work yet.

but it dropped out of my pocket at some point and that is a funny, slightly awkward story for another time.

I told my friends I lost my sticker, though, even tho it’s easy as heck to remake it at work the next day.

And my awesome boyfriend made me a better reminder slip. It’s small and fits in my wallet. In crayon he colored on one half the bi flag colors, then next to it the trans flag colors, and then in black sharpie over top he wrote

Mark He/Him A good man.

and honestly I started tearing up when I saw it. It was very sweet, and that’s exactly the kind of thing I needed to look at the last couple days. It’s nice knowing I have his friend and relationship support. 

[mark-me-down-right-there]

Besides the she ra dream I also dreamt about me looking exactly as i am but thinking about coming out or changing how I look to feel better.

So I called the hair stylist and she said she didn't know how to cut boy hair but she pulled up a book to figure it out

Anyway by the end of the dream I had this thick beard/mustache combo and short hair and it felt good but I still hadn't told anyone or seen anyone I knew to tell them about me.

So mark that as two dreams with trans themes this week, so far.