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seen from China
CD34/12 DPO
Got a very, very faint Wondfo positive yesterday, and another just-as-faint positive this morning. It’s hard not to get excited, but the second line is so faint in both that it doesn’t show up in pictures, but my husband can see it, so I’m not totally being crazy here.
Getting an FRER, let’s see what happens on my lunch break.
Husband is thinking about ttc #2 and so I skipped my shot last week but now I’m getting cold feet about it. I’m so afraid of estrogen, I do so poorly with monthly cycles of it and menstruation. I’m still chronically ill and I don’t know how this pregnancy would make things worse or give me new issues like baby e did. And then managing a toddler and a newborn, or even just a toddler while I’m heavily pregnant and chronically ill? I was so anemic last time I fell asleep everywhere until I got the IV iron infusions.
I’m 10dpo, and checked my cervix today. Bloody mucus, I thought early moon cycle so put in my cup, and just checked it ~6 hours later, totally empty.
Hopefully implantation bleeding? I’m having NO cramps whatsoever to make me think the blood offering came early. I’ll take a test at the end of the week. Moon cycle should happen Thursday or so.
So I’m officially late, I was due yesterday but blood or cramps never came. However my pregnancy test was negative. I’ll test again in a few days if I still don’t bleed, but there’s so far no signs and my cervix is high soft and wet, potentially a bit of a Chadwick sign too? That’s one of the first things I noticed with my last pregnancy, so. We’ll see? Everything else besides the negative test seems positive so far but I heard the second blood after a miscarriage is the weirdest/worst so. Wish us luck.
I hope you'll be pregnant again soon and that this child stays with you. Rooting for you and sending you all the love and best wishes💜
We hope so too. I’m about 4dpo (don’t know exact ovulation date), so still quite a while until we will know. It’s extremely difficult to get over losing my first baby. I don’t think there will ever be a time it doesn’t hurt.
Maybe it’s a bit strange, but I feel I’ll be imagining him alongside his little siblings as our family grows up.
I don’t know if I want to, or if I don’t want to. I never want to forget him but I don’t want to live every day with the pain of my lost child.
I’ve been thinking of Oberon every day.
Soon I’ll have been without him longer than I carried him. I would be 17+2 today. Trying to conceive again has me missing him more and scared for my next possible cycle.
I don’t want to keep bleeding but I’m also afraid I’ll have to go through miscarriage again.. And I want a family so I don’t want to go back on testosterone yet.
It’s just, a lot right now.
CD30 of 29
AF is still a no-show. Spent my lunch break with my husband crying for literally no reason (I’m not even sad ffs) and eating candy. Feeling weird emotional storms come on and then pass. Tested negative yesterday; going to try to just focus on self-care and keep my mind off testing/TTC until next Friday and test then if I’m still late.
CD29, ??? DPO
AF is MIA. We're having a family trip to the library and I'm going to pick up a Dollar Tree test on the way home. Trying to stay positive & loving & cheerful when I really feel emotionally tender and generally down for no particular reason.
