i know this makes me a bad trans or whatever but i rlly hate being transgender. like im proud and valid and shit dont u worry but its one of the most painful things ive ever experienced. i spent so many years not letting myself feel anything and now i understand myself and i want to be joyful but then i realize the only person in the world who actually sees me as my gender is my bf. if i died today nobody would remember me the way that im meant to be. actively transitioning and doing the work and making the appointments just leads me to more and more hurt. i feel more confident in myself and the way the world views me doesnt change and im still a fucking woman to every single person who doesnt actively try to view me otherwise. thats the worst part about being transgender to me.. the fact that i am the way that i am means i have to ask things of people. being my friend means having to constantly try to fight your natural instincts to call someone who looks like a girl a girl. im sorry. im overflowing with empathy for everyone who has an issue with me i get it
