#translating poems

[vangoghs-other-ear]

How I translate poems

Let’s look at à une damoyselle malade by Clément Marot. (x)

This poem is notoriously difficult to translate. The language is old fashioned, the rhyme scheme is tight, and each line is only three syllables. So where do you even begin?

First things first, you wanna be sure you actually understand the poem. Read through it and make note of any words you feel shakey on, so you can look them up. Here’s mine-

damoyselle- archaic spelling of damoiselle, which is an old fashioned way to say young lady. (like damsel in english).

embonpoint (m)- plumpness, stoutness

guérir- to heal

mander- to send for (old fashioned)

friande- type of pie (spelled friand these days)

doint- donner in the subjunctif

Okay, so now you’ve got your list, you’re going to want to map out a rhyme scheme.

Let’s look at the first six lines-

Ma Mignonne,   

Je vous donne 

Le bon jour.      

Le sejour,

C’est prison ;

Guérison.

I like to mark the rhyme scheme using letters of the alphabet like this-

Ma Mignonne, A

Je vous donne, A

Le bon jour. B

Le sejour, B

C’est prison ; C

Guérison. C

A literal translation won’t preserve the rhyme scheme. Check it out-

My cute one,

I bid you

good day

this stay

is prison

let’s get better.

Another element of the poem that gets lost when we translate literally is meter. In the French each line has three syllables with the stress always falling on the last. To translate this poem to English we have to make decisions.  How far do we bend the meaning to accommodate the rhyme? Do we risk sounding stilted with awkward phrasings to hold to the original poem’s meter? Do we use modern English or English from the time the poem was written? 

Here’s my best attempt at the same six lines-

Hi munchkin,

I’m askin’,

How’ve you been?

quarantine,

has me ruined

Get well soon;

 I used modern english and tried to retain the meter, the rhyme, and the meaning, but I made certain sacrifices with the tone and the rhyme. The french is more formal, and my rhymes are much slantier than the og french.

Here’s a translation by Douglas Hofstader that made different choices-

My small princess, I send you a warm hello. Your stay in bed has been like a term in prison.

He abandons rhyme and meter and opts for a prose translation. Because of this his meaning and tone match the french much more than my translation does.

That’s all for now, cause I think trying to translate the whole thing would give me a hernia lol.