also thinking about "i prefer hiding in plain sight / my fourth drink in my hand / these desperate prayers of a cursed man" like... how devastating to become famous as a 16 y/o whose entire public identity revolves around being a capital-g Girl in love with capital-b Boys and later realizing maybe you're not in love with boys and maybe you're not even a girl but you can't go back now because it would destroy your career and everything you worked for. so you keep going and keep up the illusion. you stay in the closet. and some gay kids on the internet figure out you're probably not straight and you go and like their posts because finally someone sees you but still they don't see all of you and you can't acknowledge any of this in a way that matters. and you write some songs about feminism and what you'd do if you were a man just hypothetically and the music video is in full passing drag and still no one sees you for you. hiding in plain fucking sight. so you tell everyone they missed this and they still. don't. get. it. so you marry a football player or whatever. it's what you were supposed to do anyway.