i think the thing that probably frustrates me the most about transmisogyny is that its completely impossible to talk about in a way that expresses how much its woven into the fabric of your whole life. and to point it out is something that is constantly dismissed as pure paranoia or attention-seeking behavior, right. surely we're just overthinking things, reading into malice that's not there, etc.
and its like . i am watched, everywhere i go. people notice me the second i step outside my apartment and they keep an eye on me. when i go to get in the car my neighbors watch me. if there are kids playing outside all conversation Stops Dead until they're sure the threat is leaving. i drive exclusively the speed limit and keep an extremely vigilant eye out for cops bc if i have to interact with one i don't know if the exchange will turn violent. pretty much any exchange feels like it can turn violent, is the thing. i don't go anywhere anymore because people will silently flash weapons to Prove that they could turn it violent, if they wanted. i don't even check the mail.
and you can talk about all of that. and people will still look down at you like you're a three year old infant and coo "aww. welcome to being a woman, sweetheart."
