why in the actual world is it so hard to properly characterize characters. like- im writing a (admittedly kinda silly) skk as ashlyns parents fic. (Not my og idea, props to Nightmare Dreams on yt, they're the first person I could find who did the idea, so I'm pretty sure it's theirs.) and oh my gods i cannot write Dazai correctly. I think that what im putting down has too much of "my voice" in it, than his, if that makes sense. Like for example, heres a bit of my writing:
"He told the President first. There may or may not of been some waffling for a few weeks, but he did, eventually, tell him. There was quite a lot of … discussion. (Read, Fukuzawa giving him that slightly teasing look that he did that you were never quite sure if he had actually done or not, so you couldn't call him out on it. The bastard.) Fukuzawa took the news gracefully, simply requesting that he visit Yosano for monthly checkups, and taking the time to plan maternal (paternal?) leave. Dazai bristled at the idea of telling anyone else, but folded under the urge to keep his unborn child healthy. Plus the hat-rack would castrate him if he didn't take proper care of it. Yosano was the second to be told. It was an absolute dreadful conversation, full of so. Much. Goddamn teasing. But, regular checkups got scheduled, and Dazai survived the experience. Yay him." like-- i feel like its not serious enough, for lack of a better way to describe it.
writing is the worst why do i like to do it