“Two things I love to do is fight and kiss boys!” – Hollywood Montrose
Yup. Mannequin.
Let me just say, when you get right down to it, the reason I would recommend that people see Mannequin is Hollywood Montrose – the queer window dresser played by Meshach Taylor.
In fact, I would like to rename the movie Hollywood Montrose has to Deal with the Limited People at his Job, Saves the Day and Remains Fabulous while Doing So.
So shit that happens that isn’t Hollywood:
Kim Cattrall plays Emmy a reincarnated Egyptian princess[i] whose spirit comes alive inside a late 1980’s mannequin. I mean, if you were a princess from ancient Egypt I think we’d each want to bloom like a majestic lotus in the stock room of a run-down Philadelphia department store. It’s were all the best things happen.
Like Andrew McCarthy. He plays a down on his luck window dresser / sculptor / ARTISTE! Jonathan Switcher who just needs his a break. We all know how cut-throat the world of window displays can be – the real opportunities to show your vision are few and far between. He gets that chance when Claire Timkin of Prince & Company department store hires him.
They’ve been losing business to Illustra, the department store across the street.
But now Jonathan is there, and his muse Emmy is there and they make great window displays and Illustra guy is mad, and gets mole James Spader to try and thwart Jonathan, but Jonathan will not be thwarted because 80’s fashion, Egyptian magic and HOLLYWOOD MONTROSE!
I love Hollywood.
Why? Because he’s black and gay and he’s un-fucking-apologetic about it. Because Jonathan treats him like a co-worker. Because he’s flamboyant and amazing at his job. This in the midst of a super-homophobic time is a revelation.
All that and he holds back a throng of bad guys with a hose.
Sure, does he shriek? Yes. But it doesn’t matter because that’s just another amazing uncloseted thing about him. He’s magnificent. Meshach Taylor made him a real, reliable good person.
Do I recommend Mannequin? No.
Am I praying someone has made a super-cut of the film with only Hollywood’s scenes? FUCK YES!
Mannequin Trailer: https://youtu.be/OTfhUj4LZVE
Roger Ebert’s cut-throat review (R. Ebert): https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/mannequin-1987
[i] So we get some heavy appropriation, right off the top.
"TRACHICK" Even tho its #onlytuesday I figured I gotta try and make #trashytuesday lol 😉Here is my Trashy C.O.U.T.U.R.E. By Photographer: @_imagemaster MUA: @k.henry__ Wardrobe stylist: @rdy2rck #trashy #trashyfashion #newspaper #newspaperdress #recycle #recycling #foragoodcause #fashion #fashionphotography #photoshoot #enchantedmodel #modeling #model #hairstyles #makeupartist
All About Steve (2009) Phil Traill 1h 39m [Trashy Tuesday]
“On the journey of life, just find someone as normal as you.” - Mary
I’m always curious about bad movies starring talented people. They’ve been in good movies in the past, so why pick this one? Will it be so obviously bad that it was clearly the lure of a paycheck, or will we watch some beautiful material that’s been mangled? That’s behind the selection of All About Steve.
The film was vilified in the press when it came out…and long after. So why did Sandra Bullock, Bradley Cooper, Ken Jeong and Thomas Haden Church all agree to be in it?
Well, to their credit it had a lot of potential.
Sandra Bullock plays quirky protagonist Mary Horowitz, who writes crossword puzzles for the local paper, lives with her caring parents, and loves her red boots even if no one else does. Mom and Dad (Beth Grant and Howard Hessman) set Mary up on a blind date with Steve (Bradley Cooper) a camera operator for a cable news network. When Steve gets called out to cover a story, Mary misunderstands and thinks she should follow him. He’s cute and she’d like to get some action.
She makes friends with some protestors outside the hospital where Steve is covering a medical sensation. Mary hitches a ride with them and along the road, Steve drifts from her mind because she’s having a good time with her new pals. As they pull up just outside the sinkhole, Steve and his crew are waiting just past the onlookers.
See, doesn’t that seem like fun?
The film looks great too. Big bright production. Colourful outdoor locations with solid production design in a summery palette. No expense spared.
I feel like the intention was, “A road trip movie that’s Amelie by way of the Farrelly brothers” (right down to the lead being named Mary and “About” in the title for Pete’s sake). She’s a smart but awkward misfit trying to find her place in the world. Regrettably the script feels like it was being rewritten as it was being filmed; we go places and learn things that never pay off and the tone of the performances feel disconnected from each other.
I dig what they were going for in All About Steve but the execution did not live up to the sum of the parts. It’s a light entertainment that doesn’t ever lift.
TRASHY TUESDAY: Red Dawn (1984) John Milius 1h 54min
“Don't cry! Hold it back! Let it turn to something else. Just let it turn - to something else. Okay?“ - Jed Eckert
Red Dawn is an alternate history fantasy about the immutable power of American exceptionalism, flavoured with extra Ronald Reagan[i].
In this 1984, The Soviets (along with other commies) take their shot and invade a strategically weakened United States instigating World War III.[ii] Their landing site is a high school football field in a remote Colorado town, for reasons that are not clear in any way. Those Russkies have troops, choppers and tanks; what they don’t have is Patrick Swayze.
Swayze plays Jed, a football star who knows how to use a rifle. He’s near that high school when the invasion happens, and peels over in his truck to rescue some kids. There’s chaos in town so they drive into the mountains to wait. But the US military doesn’t come and that rag tag group of kids becomes a guerilla fighting force that takes the invaders down over the course of the fall and winter[iii]. They’re Wolverines, goddammit!
While the overt politics of this film are reprehensible in a pro-violence, pro-militarism, “those kids[iv] are contravening the Geneva Convention kind of way” I did find this film fascinating and well, entertaining.
Swayze is a big part of that and the supporting cast around the kids is superb. Powers Boothe is great as Andy, a USAF officer and Harry Dean Stanton is rousing as Tom, Jed’s dad who’s been taken prisoner.
The visuals are striking too – the paratroopers landing in the school yard comes to mind. This movie loves the landscape it’s in and captures the changing seasons. The story however meanders a bit, and the energy lags over the second half.
What I found strangely appealing in this little piece of propaganda, was that the undercurrent of Leftist Fighter envy throughout. John Milius co-wrote and directed Red Dawn and the thesis statement of the film seems to be, “Americans are also tough and hard, and we would be really cool guerilla fighters too if only we had the chance![v]”
That’s the fantasy Milius constructed: Role playing Contras for McDonaldland. [vi]
TRAILER: https://youtu.be/1_I4WgBfETc
NOTES:
[i] Don’t forget those shavings of toxic masculinity!
[ii] I watched this movie and two days later in real life, Russia invaded Ukraine. I just felt I should disclose that, for reasons that are not clear in any way.
[iii] The puffer coat game is TIGHT in this film. Do not sleep on Jennifer Grey or Lea Thompson.
[iv] Some shit that happens in this movie is ridiculous! Like where the fuck did those kids in the woods get berets and snow-camo 2 months into the siege?
[v] …Why do we always have to be the invading force!” (whines into Sony Walkman)
[vi] I could keep going about the way Milius fetishizes the military leaders on the other side. He loves the authoritarian Strelnikov, the sly Bratchenko, and the ethical Bella. You can tell by the extraordinary amount of screentime they get. Like, bro? I thought you cared about those freezing American kids. Cut to them.
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