"I dont want to feel like this anymore" spell.
Listen, this spell is hard. It was hard for me. And it hurt. But it felt so good in the end. Lets start this early;
TRIGGER WARNING:
Abuse. ~ SA. ~ Traumatic events
I made this spell because, well because i didnt want to feel like I did anymore.
Now that thats out of the way, lets get to the actual spell.
here's what youre going to need:
Sewing pins
A tall tapered candle (red or black)
A holder for the candle with room at the bottom
Salt of your choice ( I just used pure white salt)
Enough white candles to make a ring around your main candle.
Time. A lot of time.
Step one: Take your candle and one of the sewing pins. Carve the entire surface with what happened. It can be sentances or single words. Put all the most painful events you can in various areas on the candle. I swore and cried while I did this, feel free to do the same. Pour those feelings about what happened into the candle. Squeeze it and force your feelings into it. Once everything is carved into the candle, take more pins and push them into the most painful events. Be careful not to break the candle.
Step 2. Do some warding and draw a circle if you need.
Step 3. Stick that bitch into the holder and pour the salt around it. I did this so that all that awfulness I just forced into that candle would stay put.
Step 4. Put all the white candles in a circle around the main one, or form a wall in between you and it.
Step 5: light the white candles first. Then the center one. As it burns, let those feelings burn away with it. Feel them leaving in the smoke. Feel the fire burning them away. When the pins drop, let an event flow out from you. Let it fall out of you just as the pin fall out of the candle.
Step 6: Stop when you get tired. Doesnt matter how much the candle has burned away. But stop when youre tired, post breakdown tired. Blow out tbhe candles and leave them for a bit.
Step 7: take care of yourself. Do some grounding and some HEALTHY self care. Talk to a friend, cominucate your feelings. Do something you enjoy.
Finally;
Put the candles away. Dont touch them again till youre ready to burn the candle more. It can be months before you touch it again. Hell, in my case it was years. Literal years. Heres my proof:
This is what mine looked like:
This was the first night I did this spell. I felt gross and sad and angry.
I did the first part of this spell in
August of 2016
This is where the part about a lot of time comes in. The next time i burned this candle?
September 14th, 2018.
You can see it, its dusty and tall and the salt has turned solid. It came with me through two moves, through two years of life. I didnt feel ready to do this again till two years later. Maybe you'll be ready in a week, maybe a month. My point is dont push your limits to hard. I only burned it when I felt like i needed too.
Its still sitting in my bedroom, waiting for me to need it again.
When youre done:
Destroy the pins, leftover wax, and salt. Burning them in a fire is my recommendation. Dont keep any of it.
And remember; take care of yourself. Recovery is a long journey. 💙
×disclaimer×
This spell is NO REPLACEMENT FOR THERAPY. Please, if youre in need of this spell contemplate seeing a medical professional as well. Magick and science arent enemies. BE SAFE. BE SMART.