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Career Transition and Isolation: A Blessing or a Curse

The statistics are out and the news is not good. The Wall Street Journal says the average worker will have approximately 7 careers in one lifetime and the average American worker changes employers every 4 years. I have been fortunate to have been in my job for 15 years but that came after I made a career change from working as a Church Pastor to moving into the Senior Living Housing Industry.

Changing careers and jobs can be chaotic in a person’s life and can be a lonely experience. Shelly Trebesch in her book Isolation; a place of transformation in the life of a leader has a healthy approach to address various aspects of isolation sometimes caused by a career change. She approaches isolation from a spiritual perspective and says isolation is a fourfold process: striping, wrestling with God, increased intimacy with God and a looking forward to the future (Trebesch 1997, 35).

After reflecting on her principles and my career change in the past, I could relate to the four fold process as I experienced much of these phases. In the 1980s I had a positive experience starting a church in California with the support of two sister churches. My wife and I decided to leverage that experience to start a new church in Seattle but without the support of churches close by. After a couple of years, funds were dwindling and I decided to go bi-vocational and start a second career. The second career lead to become a Nursing Home Administrator with the goal to become an Executive Director of a faith based Continuing Care Retirement Community.

The decision led to a time of isolation and experiencing the 4 phases Trebesch talks about. Stripping was felt as I had a Masters of Divinity and was trained to lead people in a church environment. I knew very little about healthcare and geriatrics which led me on a journey of having my pay cut in half while I interned in a State sponsored Administrator in Training program. This took a year to learn and obtain my license.

The wrestling with God came about through prayer and reflection about working through an unsuccessful church planting effort and deciding to move into another career. Much was learned through a period of months of wrestling and seeking God’s direction in a real life crisis.

Increased intimacy grew over time as I saw God faithful walking along this career transition. He never left me and I found comfort in reading scripture (especially Psalms) and praying through the day to day experience. The lapsing of time and consistent spiritual disciplines helped to take away the pain as my new career became the new normal in my life.

Finally, the looking forward stage was feeling a release that it was ok to pursue another career as a lay pastor and not a professional pastor. This stage took a few years to be released to lean into my new career.

Changing careers can be a lonely and isolating experience and Trebesch’s work was encouraging to read and reflect over some of the isolating experience my journey has taken me. How about you? Tell me about a career change you experienced. Did you also experience the fourfold process? Was your experience a blessing or a curse?

Trebesch, Shelley. Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader. Altadena, California: Barnabas Publishers, 1997.

#dminglp #lgp3 #trebesch #career transition

Career Transition and Isolation: A Blessing or a Curse

After reflecting on her principles and my career change in the past, I could relate to the four fold process as I experienced much of these phases. In the 198s0 and 90s I had a positive experience starting a church in California with the support of two sister churches. My wife and I decided to leverage that experience to start a new church in Seattle but without the support of churches close by. After a couple of years, funds were dwindling and I decided to go bi-vocational and start a second career. The second career lead to become a Nursing Home Administrator with the goal to become an Executive Director of a faith based Continuing Care Retirement Community.

Finally, the looking forward stage was feeling a release that it was OK to pursue another career as a lay pastor and not a professional pastor. This stage took a few years to be released to lean into my new career.

Changing careers can be a lonely and isolating experience and Trebesch’s work was encouraging to read and reflect over some of the isolating experiences my journey has taken me. How about you? Tell me about a career change you experienced. Did you also experience the fourfold process? Was your experience a blessing or a curse?

Trebesch, Shelley. Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader. Altadena, California: Barnabas Publishers, 1997.

#dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch #career change

Stripped and Stranded

Reading Shelly Trebesch’s Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader, brought to mind an experience I had twenty years ago while traveling in Germany. I see that as an ‘Isolation’ according to Shelly’s description, one that leaders are taken through voluntarily or involuntarily. Passing through such a valley of ‘isolation’, transforms and liberates the leader to be more effective. I recall three distinct periods of involuntary ‘Isolation’ in my life of varied durations ranging from three days to two months that have not only left an indelible mark on me but have led to spiritual growth and a higher tenacity as a leader. They were difficult and painful to go through and perhaps ones that I would have definitely avoided. However, looking back, I see the value of those experiences in the shaping of my character, leadership and intimacy with God.

The following is a gist of the narrative from my 1994 journal related to my ‘isolation’ in Germany that lasted three days:

Completely stripped of all identity, I was stranded in a foreign land without money and unable to contact friends or family. (This was prior to the days of cell phones and laptops). On the 24th of September 1994, my brief case was stolen from me in Frankfurt Germany. The culprit walked away with everything of immediate value to me - things that I could not afford to lose, things that I thought were irreplaceable; they had been snatched away from me; my passport, plane ticket, my Bible, wallet, my address book, journal and calendar. Each had a meaning, and each had a special place in my heart. They were all my favorites. Not just articles, but things of value that I was attached to and proud of; things that I thought I couldn’t live without. One moment it seemed as though I had everything and the next moment it was all taken away. I could not prove to anyone who I was.

Let me describe what these things meant to me then:

My passport - I was always proud to see it, hold it, and show it. Three books pinned together. Many extra pages ofVisas and endorsements of arrival and departures from many countries around the world. I had never lost an opportunity to display it with great pride. I was the world traveler.

My diary and calendar - a busy schedule for the next two years. The pride of my job. My appointments – speaking engagements. It was an affirmation of the importance of my position to me. I felt wanted … accepted … needed … by a lot of people.

My wallet - credit cards and money provided a false sense of security. A feeling that nothing can get out of hand and out of control as long as I had it.

My Bible - I loved it. It was well marked, and filled with a lot of notes and sermon outlines. Preparation time for sermons was needless. I could open my favorite Bible and preach without notes, or dependence on the Lord. Just a quick “magic prayer” would do.

My address book - the knowledge of having many friends whom I could turn to when in need. The impulse was not to pray and turn to God, but to get to the nearest telephone.”

As essential and valuable as all the above could be, they needed to be placed in proper perspective. In my life they were misplaced. My pride and independence had to be broken. That conceited feeling and the confidence of being able to take care of myself under all circumstances had to go. I now stood naked before the Lord, without anything to offer except my desire - no- my dire need to depend on Him. I was able to see who I really was, and that was all that mattered. Stripped of all these things and outside of the context of my work, I had lost all identity, since it was all focused on ‘doing’. This experience helped me realize that my life and leadership was about ‘being’. Trebesch insightfully points out that: “Instead of finding identity in the ministry or in what one does, transformed leaders find identity by looking at the Artist, by looking toward the Author (Trebesch 1997, 50).” This experience transformed me in a remarkable way.

I find myself closely identifying with what I believe to be the most important principle underlying ‘Isolation’ that Shelly describes; and the heart of Christian leadership: “Most importantly these transformed leaders have a deeper more intimate relationship with God which is primary for their lives. Just as one enjoys the company of a friend who knows him/her deeply, these leaders enjoy God (52).” Will I ever get to that point?

Trebesch, Shelley. Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader.Altadena, California: Barnabas Publishers, 1997.

#dmin #dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch

Stripped and Stranded

The following is a gist of the narrative from my 1994 journal related to my ‘isolation’ in Germany that lasted three days:

Completely stripped of all identity, I was stranded in a foreign land without money and unable to contact friends or family. (This was prior to the days of cell phones and laptops). On the 24th of September 1994, my brief case was stolen from me in Frankfurt Germany. The culprit walked away with everything of immediate value to me - things that I could not afford to lose, things that I thought were irreplaceable; they had been snatched away from me; my passport, plane ticket, my Bible, wallet, my address book, journal and calendar. Each had a meaning, and each had a special place in my heart. They were all my favorites. Not just articles, but things of value that I was attached to and proud of; things that I thought I couldn't live without. One moment it seemed as though I had everything and the next moment it was all taken away. I could not prove to anyone who I was.

Let me describe what these things meant to me then:

My wallet - credit cards and money provided a false sense of security. A feeling that nothing can get out of hand and out of control as long as I had it.

My address book - the knowledge of having many friends whom I could turn to when in need. The impulse was not to pray and turn to God, but to get to the nearest telephone.”

Trebesch, Shelley. Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader. Altadena, California: Barnabas Publishers, 1997.

#dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch

Isolation: Into the Desert

The motif of entering into the desert, a dry and waterless place, for a time of spiritual testing, pain, and growth is prevalent throughout the Bible. Shelley Trebesch in her book Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of a Leader explicates these periods of isolation for Biblical leaders from Moses to Paul, not failing to mention Jesus’ rather important sojourn into the desert for 40 days. What is interesting is that the theme of isolation does not end with the closing of the canon. Trebesch points out that in her research at least 90% of leaders will experience a time of isolation in their lives. When one begins to think historically through a list of Christian leaders, the isolation experience further becomes standard. Patrick spent years as a slave in a foreign land before catching the vision to reach the pagans of Ireland with the gospel. Teresa de Avila faced an uphill climb and much isolation in her attempts to enact her vision, and her friend John of the Cross gave us the very apt phrase of anguish in isolation, “the dark night of the soul.” More recently it was discovered that Mother Teresa had experienced tremendous bouts of spiritual isolation. Off the top of my head I can think of several good friends who have passed through seasons of isolation because of ministry changes, failures, retirement, or conflict.

Trebesch defines isolation (via Clinton) within the leadership model as: “the setting aside of a leader from normal ministry involvement in its natural context usually for an extended time in order to experience God in a new and deeper way (10).” For Trebesch the focal point for any isolation experience is to grow in greater intimacy with God, and to thus encounter a time of radical spiritual transformation. Isolation experiences can be entered into either voluntarily or involuntarily, but they are always a result of God wanting to do something new in the core of our lives. Ultimately, Trebesch find three main reasons why God brings us into an isolation experience: “to transform identity, to introduce a paradigm shift, and to deepen his relationship with the leader (46).”

All of this written on the page often sounds admirable and deeply spiritual. It seems that we would all want to jump expectantly at the opportunity to have an isolation experience, but Trebesch does an important job in reminding us that isolation experiences, sojourning through the desert alone, are not pleasant experiences. They are often a result of chaos in the world that leads to sickness, imprisonment, failure, burnout, and transition. Isolation is often a place of deep anguish and pain, as the familiar and the comfortable melt away. Trebesch outlines the process of isolation in the steps of: 1. Stripping, 2. Wrestling with God, 3. Increased intimacy, and finally 4. Release to Look Towards the Future. The process of stripping and wrestling with God are painful and disorienting, but is the key of what allows us to be re-made and transformed anew.

Trebesch’s work here is ultimately hopeful, in showing the role of isolation (as painful as it can be) in radically forming and shaping leaders to be more like God and more in line with God. Isolation is often a part of God’s plan, and the Bible would suggest that the humbling of leaders into truly godly people is an essential part of the leadership process for God. As Western Christians however, we often shy away from the transformative pain of isolation. We question those who have burned out, or failed. Rarely do we offer pastors and leaders the grace and understanding they need in these moments. As leaders ourselves, we do not see the power of the isolation experience to our own health and vitality. As such, we fight against God’s plan for our lives, avoiding the pain that can transform us. Really, this is scary stuff!! No one wants to enter the desert alone. We demand comfort and safety, when God calls into a place of danger, isolation, and chaos. God calls us into the whirlwind to meet him and be transformed. Perhaps as Western Christians we need to recapture the spiritual practices of sacrifice, of pain, of pilgrimage into the wilderness (a practice that was once common), and an embrace of isolation.

Have you ever experienced a period of isolation? If so, how did God use it to change you?

#isolation #leadership #lgp3 #dminlgp #trebesch

Isolation: Into the Desert

Have you ever experienced a period of isolation? If so, how did God use it to change you?

#dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch

A Rare Commodity

You need to talk with Larry; he is a man of humility and great wisdom. These were the words my Pastor spoke to me after asking him, “Who would be a good person to seek out for mentorship during my time in seminary?” To be honest, his words surprised me. I’m not quite sure what I expected, but I didn’t expect a non-staff person by the name of Larry. Regardless of my issue with the name Larry, over the next four years I was able to watch and be cared for by an incredible model of humility.

A few days ago a student stopped me after class and asked me, “What does it mean to be humble?” Wow, great question. I began to think about a modern day example I could share with my student. My mind immediately went to Larry. I began to tell my student stories about Larry. See, Larry was one of “those guys”, he simply embodied wisdom and humility. The way he conducted himself, his gentle manner, his ability to listen, and his simple presence always carried weight. When you were around him, you felt as if you were with a holy man.

One day Larry shared with me his story. He was very clear to point out how God used the simple things of life to shape his soul. No flash, no lofty ministry positions, no seminary, just simple life to refine his soul. He shared about;

Getting married

Having kids

Learning how to discipline kids

Marital struggles

Loss of parents

Loss of job and finances

Releasing children to adulthood

And significant times of isolation

To Larry, life was the ultimate tool for producing humility.

This past week while reading Isolation: A Place of Transformation in the Life of A Leader by Shelley Trebesch a was struck by the inward transformation which takes place before and after isolation. Primarily, a movement from performance orientation to freedom in humility. And to be frank, no one in my life has ever demonstrated this better then Larry.

In fact, the very meaning of the word humility has its root in the Latin humus, meaning “of the earth”. You could define the term as “staying grounded.” During our time, Larry shared with me a key model of humility from church history that became a guide for his formation. It was called St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility.

Benedict who lived in the 16th century has provided us with some great wisdom in the area of staying grounded. Well known for his love of God and care for others, Benedict had at his core the idea of staying grounded through the pursuit of humility. He created the following ladder to act as a guide to help serve as we pursue transformation.

St. Benedict’s Ladder of Humility

Step 8 – Transformed into the Love of God

Step 7 – Purposeful to speak less

Step 6 – Deeply aware of being chief of all sinners

Step 5 – Radical honesty to Others about our weaknesses

Step 4 – Patience to accept the difficulty of others

Step 3 – Willing to subject ourselves to direction of others

Step 2 – Busy doing God’s Will

Step 1 – Fearful of God and Mindfulness of Him

Simple Questions

After Larry shared the previous ladder with me, he would simply ask the following questions. (Every time we got together, he asked the exact same questions):

How are you doing in your journey toward humility?

Where on the ladder would you currently place yourself?

What practices or people would you need to invite into your life to continue on the journey?

What would you need to eliminate to continue on the journey?

I remember the last words Larry spoke with me. He said, “Rick, remember, humility is a rare commodity. Tend to your soul, your wife, your family, and don’t miss out on the simple things of life.”

I have come to learn that Larry and humility are both rare commodities.

Who is the Larry in your life – a loving voice continually encouraging you to stay grounded? How would you respond to Larry’s questions? Have you embraced isolation as a formative practice, or have you tried to escape it's grip?

#dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch

The Leadership Process: Moving Through Times of Isolation

Literature on effective leadership had been prolific. Ken Blanchard defines it as “the capacity to influence others by unleashing their power and impact for the greater good”.[1] Leadership is influence for mutual good is a good starting point. Kouzes and Posner add that leadership as “the art of mobilizing other to want to struggle for shaped aspirations”.[2] There is struggle. There is a process. There are as many variables as what makes a leader as there are as what makes a human being. It is the social context, the time in history, a person’s upbringing, the type of organization, the events that led up to a leader’s role and many others. Regardless of how scientific the process may be, it is a human endeavor. Leaders are formed, not merely by innate gifts, but an ongoing process with other people. It is the challenge of working with human beings that make a leader. I know of no leader that has not gone through at least one crisis that has made her or him the leader they are today. As easy as some pop literature may make leadership development, it always emerges through pressure and struggle. Many times leadership brings with it times of feeling isolated from the people they lead as one pastor expresses it, “ I feel so alone in this thing”. One biblical character that comes to mind is Elijah. Before a great victory Elijah complains, “I am the only one of the Lord’s prophets left”. (1 Kings 18:22) Then, after a great victory he retreated from public interaction for fear for his life. He felt isolated and alone. He complained to God that he was the only prophet left who was committed to Yahweh. As Elijah complains to God, God does not abandon him to frustration. Through the message of a plant, the Lord reminds and refreshes Elijah of his leadership calling. (1 Kings 19) This feeling of isolation is part of the process.

There are times where leaders are forced by circumstances beyond their control into times of isolation. There are other times when the leader feels compelled to withdraw or quit one organization because he or she no longer fits. Regardless there is a process for the Christian leader that can either grow them or hinder their development. Shelley G. Trebesch’s book Isolation--A Place of Transformation In The Life of a Leader describes the process well. She states that there is a fourfold process that a leader goes through in isolation. She calls the stages stripping, wrestling with God, increased intimacy and release for the future. Combining personal examples and other Christians she cites case studies to support her claim.

The first stage of stripping can be very painful. People know that to be a better leader the leader must grow. The growing pains can either be resisted or embraced. To grow is to move into the fray not to retreat from it. As pointed out by Manfred Kets de Vries in The Leadership Mystique there are hidden irrational forces in any organization. There are also hidden irrational forces in a leader. Every leader has a “core confliction relationship theme” (CCRT) that contains the desires of a leader, their reactions to others and how they anticipate people will respond in the context of the leaders desires.[3] This creates conflict for a leader. In one church I served in, there was a conflict with my CCRT and the culture of the church’s CCRT. This was definitely a stripping process. I said to myself that I did not like who I was becoming (or expected to become). It eventually led to me leaving that church. My expectations, my perceptions and my attitudes toward church all were being stripped away. My conclusion as I took the present leadership position in my church was “What do I need to unlearn about church to be the mission of Jesus in the neighborhood”. Everything was up for grabs.

Trebesch next speaks of a wrestling phase in the experience of isolation. For Christian church leaders this may be a wrestling with God. More often than not it is a wrestling with the church organization, as we know it. This wrestling shakes up our preconceptions. For me, unexamined assumptions about what it means to lead a church were being squeezed under pressure. This often wounding experience, can make a person bitter or it makes a much more humane and caring leader. Bitterness and resentment is poison to a leader’s soul. Blaming others for the entire problem takes all power away from the leader. Seeing oneself as complicit in the problem without blame or shame has been one of the most healing elements of moving out of the wrestling phase. Without a disciplining of our spirits, we can be caught off guard. As the Apostle Paul states, “I discipline my body like an athlete, training it to do what it should. Otherwise, I fear that after preaching to others I myself might be disqualified.” (1 Corinthians 9:27)

The next stage is increased intimacy with God. Sensitivity to God’s voice is what is missing in secular literature on leadership. Gordon Smith is perceptive of the need for hearing from God. Discernment is a key sensitivity that leaders need in church. Spiritual discernment is needed in a complex world. Through it, we can respond with courage. With reoccurring news of Christian leaders moral failures, it reminds us of the need to be alert to respond in ways that show love and justice.[4] The last stage then is leading with a renewed voice as one moves into the future. To be a Christian leader initially is a response to Jesus calling to follow him. This involves both trusting in Jesus to bring forth good and suffering for him (Philippians 1:29). Even though we go through times of isolation we know we are never alone. The burden does not have to weigh us down. Smith encourages us to know that, “The calling of God is not burdensome, even though it necessarily includes both challenge and responsibility. Rather, discerning vocation is substantially a matter of discerning what bring us joy and finding though that discernment who we truly are.”[5]

[1] Ken Blanchard, Leading at a Higher Level. Upper Saddle River, New Jersey. Financial Times Press, 2007, p. xix.

[2] James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner, The Leadership Challenge. San Francisco: Jossey- Bass, 1995, p.30.

[3] Manfred Kets de Vries. Pp.44-45.

[4] Gordon T Smith, The Voice of Jesus: Discernment, Prayer and the Witness of the Spirit. Downer’s Grove: IVP Press, 2003, p.183.

[5] Ibid., p.199.

#dminlgp #lgp3 #trebesch