#treytherebel

[arebelthatwrites]

Back again... like i never left

For the 9 people that actually follow this blog you know when i post on this its something wrong with me, or my situation ,etc. this time its purely a self thing .btw im still single. unfortunately. i want it to change so bad :( but hey that is life. don’t force it.

i had a feeling when i start talking to someone i will very clingy… a couple of months later i never been so clingy in my entire life. honestly i been played with all my life in one way or another. it never fails. i don’t want to be in that situation all over again. i don’t want to be a temporary help for no one. PERIOD. its sad i was still in that situation with alot of people. not the greatest feeling when you know you only a temporary fix until they actual man is back in there life, stop fucking up etc. i am better than that, i know im worth more than that. i just wish someone else seen me the way i see me. right now i never been more comfortable with one person and the feeling is mutual. its rare and im taking full advantage. in this life. you only have you. make yourself happy. idk if i am yet. but im trying right?

[arebelthatwrites]

A dream/nightmare of mines.

DISCLAIMER: IT IS S DREAM. No names will be mentioned . | I never just wake up and write but... I needed to write this out. | At was in the distant future. I had my hair cut, a nice beard. I woke up at home, not my mothers home my own house. I completely lost track of time. My brother calls me says your about to be late. Come on Bruh. So I drop everything and checked my phone. The background was us. So knowing you are in my mind witch means this is a great dream. My brother sends me his location. And time fast forwards, I don't know how I got dressed but I'm dressed and I facetime her, she is looking beautiful as usual, note I could only see her face and nothing else. And we talked for a quick minute until I had started to hang up but noticed there is a guy in the back. She puts her phone down and I start to hear things like. "That was then this is now". "I have a boyfriend". "It was only one time". "I was fucked up" "_____ stop playing with me" So my head is a mixture of being infuriated and hopeless. So I finally hit my destination I get out my car extremely angry. I get out to see my family on one side all very happy until they see my face. On the other side was her family with a mixture of girls I used to talk to sprinkled in. As I walked to the back , my brother has let me in on everything she is in the room with a guy by the name of Marcus, they have history and he tells me don't do anything stupid on your wedding day. I was in shock because it was my wedding day, and I know exactly who my brother was talking about. I look through the window in the door to see them kiss. I open the door and charged in and before I could do anything I woke up from my dream. I'm still confused about why it was a dream because my nightmares have no color and why was it all happening to me. I don't want to lose her. That scared the shit out of me and instantly made me think about us. Would I ever get that far to only feel hopeless at the end?