#trigger picking

[mouseyfox]

I”m having a horrible time with my trich today.

I want to leave my hair down but every time I take it out of the half-assed bun I’ve been putting it in my urge to pull is almost instant, but I keep getting irritated at leaving it in a bun because I feel better with the feeling of the weight of my hair being loose than if it’s all coiled up so I’m at an impasse. I may try braiding it and see if that helps stop my pulling urges. *sighs* I hate trichotillomania I really do.

[mouseyfox]

I’ve been sitting on the urge to pull my hair for two hours now and IT WON’T GO AWAY. I’m afraid of putting my hands in my hair, or attempting to put it up because I know, I KNOW that I’ll pull at least one strand if I do.

I wish I had a hat I can stand, or a beanie I don’t look horrible in, or SOMETHING to help with this. Or hell even just someone to french braid my hair for me just SOMETHING to make this urge go away without actually pulling.

[mouseyfox]

Okay, I just realized that this is stressing me out enough that I’m pulling out my hair, so two more attempts at beating Undyne and then if I still can’t beat her fuck it I’m closing the game for the night.

[mouseyfox]

Oh my GOD Ruadan is such a whiney butt this morning! I guess it’s kind of welcome though considering I’m going in for a consultation about my hair today and it’s more than kinda freaking me out... since yesterday.

[mouseyfox]

Errands are through and I'm having an anxiety attack BC there was this condescending cunt in Great Clips who didn't even style my hair being rude BC the place I work at didn't hire her cause she couldn't pass the fucking drug test which has nothing to do with me or a reason to be rude to me and I have lived in the south long enough to recognize your fucking TONE lady. Your comments on the hair style I asked for and did not receive were unwanted and rude and nearly made me cry in that fucking salon chair you fucking prick. *takes a deep breath* The lady at Sally's afterwards was very sweet and helpful though and taught me more about clip ins and sew ins and all sorts of extensions but they are expensive and will not be bought yet but I have a dark purple to highlight my hair and some argon oil mousse and I got what I needed from Hastings despite there being TOO much noise from the YuGiOh tournament that made me have three hyperventilation attacks in the store before checking out. It has been a bad but not horrible afternoon and I am ready to go home.

[mouseyfox]

That frustrating as fuck moment when your hair is tangled and you want to comb it out with your fingers but you’re having such bad pulling urges you have to make yourself leave your hair alone cause the instant you brush it you’re gonna start pulling.

[mouseyfox]

I've actually been REALLY bad about picking this past week. I dug out like five hangnails with just my teeth so now my fingers are all mad at me and were inflamed earlier (I kept making sure to wash them at work). That's not even counting the amount of skin I dug into just because it had one inconsequential mark or pimple or what-have-you. 

I REALLY need to get some fidget rings I can wear to work and play with when I'm sitting down or driving so I'll quit picking at my skin anytime I'm still for too long. Thankfully my zoloft has helped some with the hair pulling urges, but I've got a long way to go on the skin picking.

[mouseyfox]

Oh lookit that my Dyshidrosis is back. Hello allergy/stress/whatever the hell causes you bumps. Now to just keep myself from tearing the underside of my fingers off because of my compulsion to pop all of you.