#trigger rasism

[roryarthurwilliams]

Trigger warning: rasism, murder, threats

This is the story of how I got a fucking panic attack just now.. (I'm doing better now, thank you.)

Under the cut is a story that may contain triggers to some people. Be warned.

I walked to the stairs, where he yelled at me and started talking about America, and how fucked up it was. So I told him I agreed, and brought up Ferguson and how this cop should be arrested and justice should be given.. Instead of letting me leave, he walked up to me and started saying "All whites must die." and "We have to kill all whites." I *calmly* (Because I knew he might be under influence, since he asked for pot..) told him "Not all whites.." and wanted to walk off. That's when he started walking towards me, saying it again and again. Including: "All whites vermoorden" (Vermoorden is dutch, it means 'to kill')

At this point I ran off, already scared.

When I got to the bike parking place, a guy who I've seen multiple times when I still worked at the grocery shop stood there, checking bike locks. He walked up to me, said: "Hey Reno--" and stopped in his tracks when another guy told him to leave me alone..

Needless to say.. At this point my heart was racing, since that guy had almost beaten me up once already.

I cycled home, my heart racing and a panick attack welling up.. I feel fucked up, depressed and not well at all. Whatever I say, I'm not well, and I feel bad, very bad.

Thanks for reading

Edit: Also, I found out my classmates from my last university didn't like me at all, talked about me behind my back and ridiculed me.. WELL FUCK.