#triviabomb

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this is your roughly once-every-three-years update on my life as a whole, this is

don’t live in a house that torments me anymore. not quite as likely to save money well. nostalgic for doing things i’m good at.

I was earnestly considering all manner of changes to my life prior to mid-March of this year, but here I am now, quietly and responsibly barely leaving my house.

I miss my family.

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I haven’t opened my closet door in years now 🤭

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one of my housemates tells me I talk like the Big Lebowski when I’m uncertain about something

and man...like, that’s probably true

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a "creepy" coincidence

@ohtze (whom anyone interested in 1) Star Wars, 2) writing, or 3) I don't know just look, there is cool stuff should follow) posted about a horror-y movie called Beyond the Black Rainbow a while back (which I had not previously heard of). It involves a girl named Elena with special powers, a cult, and a man who is obsessed with her (and her power). She is imprisoned by the man/cult and tries to escape. okay, so, prior to having heard about this movie, I wrote a romantic horror* lyricographic** novel (currently still stuck in art hell, atoning for its sins) in which there is a girl named Elena who has special powers, there is a man who particularly covets her power (and her), and did I mention that he is the founder of a cult? And she is also a prisoner who tries to escape? (*by analogy, the way some romantic comedies are not very funny but the romance story is cheerful and lighthearted, a romantic horror would be not very boo!scary, but the romance story iisss...) (**I made up a word to describe the medium it's in because I couldn't find a pre-existing example. *thumbs up*) (and then I wrote myself a note saying "if we could turn pretension into electricity, this would solve the energy crisis") weirded out by the similarity between the surface level descriptions of the movie and my own work, I decided to watch it sometime. Tonight, my roommates and I finally did. there were (relievingly!) enough substantial differences between the movie and my story that I do not feel...worried? threatened? terribly unoriginal? But I still feel SOMETHING about this level of coincidence, and I really do not know yet what it is.

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@queermalapropist and @shujyman are two very cool people among all of you very cool people

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Doing the luminosity thing

http://lesswrong.com/lw/1xh/living_luminously/

In the City of Lights, not currently strongly endorsing or repudiating any behavior,

As Therlin, I do. I get things done. I solve problems. I attempt to encourage others to do what’s best for them, though sometimes I get too caught up in my own idea of what’s best, or I nag. I am concerned(!) about politics. And nutrition. I enjoy prestige and respect. I enjoy being in charge. I tend to undervalue others’ usefulness. I want to control and dominate. I am anger; sometimes, perhaps rather righteous, but, with Wrenos, mostly flashes of wrath meant to protect from hurt. I am focused on achieving goals. I am arrogant. I get stressed. I am concerned with both reality and practicality. My practicality prevents me from any serious violation of laws that I am not otherwise morally unaligned with. With Wrenos, I may be a stickler for following rules. 

As Kantes, I am moved by the vastness, oneness, interconnectedness, all-of-the-universe-and-existence. I want to walk in a garden alone or with only my closest loved ones. I named the sub-agents. I like beauty. I love it. I seek it. I love, from a distance. I love the stars. I love art and craftsmanship. I love a well-told story. I love reflection, discovery, and understanding. I meditate on the less verbally accessible aspects of reality. I create, think, and imagine. I get lost in thought and am absentminded. I am unconcerned with practicality,  but reality is a place to play in. With Wrenos, I may spend the day reading fiction or playing video games or watching movies, and this is either good or bad; there are pros and cons.

As Wrenos, I want cuddling and kissing and soft feelings. I want cake. I want to be protected and safe. I want to be allowed to be unconcerned with my personal presentation or any responsibilities. I want to do only those things I want to do, and nothing I do not want to do. I love my friends and family. I love the dark and horror stories. I love to feel that I may be devoured entirely and lost in any overwhelming feeling. I like to be praised, spoiled, rewarded, but I also like to be teased and scolded. I am selfish or only concerned with the safety and happiness of me-and-mine. I survive difficult situations where Therlin breaks or Kantes dissolves. I persist, low and quiet. With Kantes, I am a dark room–I am the sheltering of the self in order to witness the world. I am unconcerned with either practicality or reality; I am concerned with immediate gratification.

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it is a 78,000-word-long POEM that was an important thing to leave out you could also consider it multiple poems, but it is regardless one story

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my 78,000-word rough draft is done so I think I can take at least tomorrow off from writing and pretend revision isn't gonna be a clusterfuck