How to join the Transgender Ancestor Rite: an FAQ on our updated format
What is it?
an annual, non-denominational ritual honoring transgender individuals who have passed on
an act of solidarity with the lineage of transgender ancestors who have come before us and paved the way, as well as with the descendants who will come after us when we are gone
a chance to share tenderness and kindness with the restless spirits of transgender people who lost their lives to violence
an opportunity for living transgender folks, including those who have lost trans loved ones, to grieve, mourn, and pray
a labor of love from a multiracial group of trans spirit workers, each at various stages of study in ancestor veneration practices, who have been putting on this ritual since 2014
When is it?
the ritual should take place on or around the Trans Day of Remembrance on November 20th, preferably within a week
most of us do it at night but any time of day is fine
if you need to do it a little before or after the 20th, don't sweat it
Where is it?
wherever you are!
groups are welcome to host local events and inform us about them, but the ritual itself takes place in a location of your own choosing, usually at home
if you have access to a local TDOR event that could incorporate some or all of this ritual, you are welcome to bring it there
most of the organizers have historically been located in the northeastern US but you don’t have to be
Who is it for?
it honors everyone from this year’s Trans Day of Remembrance official list, as well as any other deaths of trans individuals from the year that participants wish to include
illness losses, violent deaths, suicides, and natural deaths are all eligible for inclusion
it includes, cumulatively, all transgender deaths from previous years as well, named on the TDOR lists and unnamed, throughout history
it honors and praises the trans ancestors, people who were alive both recently and longer ago, who feel themselves in connection with us, who have received the care and honor we offered through previous years’ rituals, who are bright and well and who can tend the line from the other side
participants can be trans or cisgender, of any or no denomination or faith
Does it cost money?
nope! this is an anticapitalist affair
you can buy incense and offerings if you like, but you don’t need to spend money to participate
Why are y’all doing this?
honestly this could take pages and pages about the importance of this work and of soothing the troubled dead and tending our ancestral line et cetera et cetera ad infinitum but the short version is
we gotta
our ancestors require it and we’re making sure they get it
Okay, how does it work?
during the ritual, you sit or stand at an altar, light a candle, put out a glass of fresh water, and read a prayer
you may also make any other offerings you feel called to do
if so moved, you read the names of the dead from this year's TDOR list and call on our bright and well ancestors to tend to these newly passed souls
all the people participating in all the different places in the world help create a rising raft of energy that is greater than the sum of its parts, delivering the restless dead among our line into the care of our bright and well ancestors, who, in turn, also care for us, the living
Prayers? I thought you said this was non-denominational.
prayers can involve divinity, or they can be kind and soothing words to say to the dead
you can look through our prayers tag to get ideas and inspiration, but feel free to find poems on your own and/or write something yourself as well
you are welcome to include deity or not, as you prefer
the organizers of this ritual incorporate gods and spirits in our practices but you by no means need to
on the flip side, if you want your gods involved, feel free to do so in whatever respectful manner works for you
What do I need on my altar?
the basics are an altar cloth (white is traditional; a bandana works), a cup to be filled with water, and a new or dedicated candle (white is traditional here also but follow your instincts)
other great offerings include cut flowers, portions of your food and drink (though alcohol is not advised with restless spirits), tobacco, honey, pictures and/or names of the deceased, art, music, dancing, and any gender paraphernalia you think the ancestors might like
do not put pictures of living people on the altar
it can be as simple or ornate as you choose: the important parts are the candle, the cup, and the cloth
Isn’t it sketchy to be working with dead people?
a little bit
it is much less sketchy since our format change in 2022, at which point this ritual shifted from working directly with restless spirits (dicey) to interfacing with them only through our cadre of elevated bright and well ancestors who have already benefited from previous years' rituals
we advise that you cleanse or purify in whatever way you prefer, ideally before and after the working
if you’re in a Western (especially American Christian) culture that views death as The End and discussion of death as taboo, consider reading up on cultures where ancestor veneration is a normal part of everyday life (hint: it’s most of them)
Other questions? Send them in and we’ll answer them, and maybe add them to the list! If you post about the ritual, tag #troe2023 and we will check it out!
genuinely feeling quite fucked up about losing Miss Major
when I started doing trans ancestor work, of course I had dead friends, but they were peers, we were young enough that none of them were exactly community leaders
as people like Cecilia and Miss Major cross over, people a generation above me that I've known, spoken or even worked directly with, who were immense forces in our world, who were mothers to so so so many, myself in some ways included, it feels way fucking different
I'm in the cohort of trans adults who had a drastically smaller pool of elders because of AIDS, and losing the people I've been able to look up to directly feels really crushing
I don't know what it is like to have or be a parent in the trans/drag sense, and maybe that's a circumstances thing or maybe it's an avoidant attachment thing, but I'm thinking a lot about those relationships as so many are mourning another mother lost
rest in power, Miss Major, may your memory be a blessing, may you never thirst, and may your descendants continue to tell it like it fucking is 🖤
Because I am caregiving a parent, my main altar for the Transcestors is at my house, and I took the topper with me. When I opened the bedroom drapes this morning, the sunlight fell directly on my mini altar.
He was sure he must have looked odd, just standing outside the pub with his head tilted to peer inside, like some sort of stalker.
"Are you waiting for someone too?" The voice was small and fragile, seemingly like glass. But, even though the words were smooth and harmless, he jumped slightly at the words. He'd been so consumed by his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed the little kids sitting on the bench outside the pub.
"...No. I am..." Ryo started to answer, but the words were left in the back of his throat. What was he doing here? He enjoyed entering the village to look around and forget who he was for an hour or two, but what was he doing outside of a pub? Was he actually debating whether to go in or not?
"That's okay. You don't have to answer her questions. She asks a lot of them," The other kid spoke up. His voice was rougher than his sisters; slightly raspy but still full of youth.
"You told me that wasn't a bad thing!" The fragility in her voice was gone, but the smoothness remained. She spoke well for a peasant child. Her words were pronounced clear and sharp, without a blur of the consonant or vowel sounds. How old was she? It was dark, but from what he could see the girl must have been around eight or nine years of age. The boy was older, perhaps ten or eleven years of age.
"It's not..." He answered, pulling the girl closer to him. The bench was long, but the night was cold, and he seemed like a good big brother. It was then that Ryo realized that sitting on a bench outside of a pub wasn't an activity that children tended to do, especially after the sun had set.
"Why are the two of you sitting here?" Ryo looked back at the pub, full of boisterous laughter and shouting. He heard some profanities, the slang of the peasants, and grimaced as he looked back at the children.
"Papa is in there. We're waiting for him. Mama doesn't let us in the house without him," She laid her head on her brother's shoulder and let out a soft yawn before playing with the hem of her little dress.
Ryo didn't know how to answer that. He'd never really dealt with kids before. He knew the basics, but...what do you say when the parents were clearly neglecting their children?
"You don't need to worry about us, sir," The boy spoke up now. His voice was still raspy, but there was a sort of resolve firm in them that Ryo wasn't expecting from a child of ten years. He was tempted to just leave, ignore these little peasant children and their little problems.
But he didn't move. He just stood there for a few minutes. He could leave. Why wasn't he? Why was today so confusing? Why was he moving toward the bench? Why was he sitting with these children? Why was he asking them what their names were?
- An excerpt from “The Reflection of Eternity” gooo check it outttt (Various yandere x reader slow burn fanfic set in prince and princess times - read on Quotev)
