Oct 18, 2023
This is how it would go, wouldn't it?
And don't worry, the therapist is fine, they just fled the scene when the couch caught on fire
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This is how it would go, wouldn't it?
And don't worry, the therapist is fine, they just fled the scene when the couch caught on fire
🎤✨ BroZone Archetypes: Before vs. After the Breakup ✨🎤
(aka how one band's breakup emotionally destroyed five trolls)
Let’s get something straight right away: John Dory slapped labels on his brothers to keep them focused, keep them marketable, keep them together. But intent does not cancel impact.
John Dory looks at that mess and goes: “Okay. We need structure. Roles. Clear lanes.”
So he assigns them:
💖 Spruce, “You’re the Heartthrob. People look when you smile.”
🤪 Clay, “You keep things light. You’re the Fun One.”
💔 Floyd, “You feel deeply. You’re the Sensitive One.”
🐣 Branch, “You’re the Baby. Be cute.”
👑 John Dory, “I’ll lead. I’ll carry the pressure.”
From a leader’s POV? Efficient. Clean. Balanced. From my POV? A life sentence.
⚡ Clay: The First One Who Actually Noticed
At that scene inside of Rhonda, Clay looks around the room and doesn’t see a band. He sees the aftermath.
Spruce? Settled. A dad. No smolder, just responsibility. Branch? Less color, droopy ears, his energy… off. Something obviously went down with him, Clay can see it in a second. But what do you even say to that? He can’t exactly call it out. So his brain does a survival hack: “Slightly taller, zero glasses.” It’s nonsense. It’s not accurate. It’s Clay’s way of saying: I SEE you, Branch. I SEE that life threw you into the fire and you’re still standing. I ain’t calling you out. Just… here’s a fact I can safely spit out.
John Dory? Still issuing notes like the breakup never happened. Still pretending the old labels exist. Clay’s blood boils quietly. And then he gestures at himself. “And I’m a licensed CPA. Put some respect on my name, fool!”
EXCUSE ME???
That is not a joke. That is a man screaming: I rebuilt myself so hard I turned into paperwork. Fun Boy? Dead. Buried. Replaced with spreadsheets and a sad book club. He didn’t just move on, he overcorrected.
Clay saw it before anyone else. He saw that everyone changed, even if they don’t fully understand how. Everyone except John, who still clings to old roles like life didn’t happen.
Clay isn’t cruel here. He’s exhausted. He’s the first to say it out loud: “We grew up. You didn’t notice. And that’s the problem.”
And the fact that “Slightly taller with zero glasses” is literally the only thing he can say about Branch? That is proof. Proof that Clay’s brain had to patch the chaos with whatever scraps it could find, while internally screaming: Yeah… shit went down for you...
📉 The Pattern
Spruce:
Then:
Heartthrob
Admired
Desired
Charisma
Abs
Charm
Fanservice
The one parents pretended not to notice their kids crushing on After:
Dad
Grounded
Private
Family
Emotionally focused on others
→ From being looked at → to looking after
Clay: Then:
Fun Boy
Carefree
Chaotic joy
Goofy
Lighthearted
Comic relief After:
CPA
Controlled
Emotionally muted
Sad book club
→ From joy without structure → to structure without joy
John Dory: Then:
Leader
Confident
Outward focus
Direction
Decision-maker
The one who said “We’ve got this.” After:
Loner
Obsessive
Isolated
Inward spiral
→ From guiding others → to being unable to guide himself
Branch: Then:
Baby
Color
Innocence
Optimism
Joy After:
Gray
Survivalist
Fear
Control
Emotional shutdown
→ From vulnerability → to armor
Floyd:
So Floyd is a little unclear, at least at the service... let's look at what we see and know. Then:
Emotionally open
Empathetic
Expressive
Comfortable with vulnerability
The one who felt deeply and showed it
So if the pattern holds… he would become...
The Emotionally Closed One
Quietly withdrawn
Emotionally guarded
Avoidant of vulnerability
Keeps feelings internal instead of expressing them
Stops being the 'emotional translator' for others
💎 Floyd in The Diamond: This Man is Not Fighting
Let’s be clear:
Floyd:
Is calm most of the time
Speaks gently to Veneer
Doesn’t scream at Velvet
Sings ONE song
Focuses on others
That is NOT resilience. That is acceptance with a smile.
Floyd didn’t snap. He didn’t harden. He didn’t armor up. He let go. He reached the point of: “If this is how it is… then okay.”
Do you understand how scary that is??
🎶 “For All The Lonely People” is a Farewell Song
He didn’t sing:
“Save me”
“I’m scared”
“I want to live”
He sang a song that sounds like: “If this is the last thing I do, let it comfort someone else.”
That is not a man expecting to walk away. That is a man who has already made peace with not coming back.
🚑 Why Branch Singing Matters so Much
Branch doesn’t sing at Floyd. He sings for him. He just says: “No. You don’t get to disappear quietly.” That song isn’t nostalgia. It’s CPR. It’s Branch dragging Floyd back from flatlining by force.
🧾Conclusion
Spruce abandoned desire and charm. Clay abandoned chaos and laughter. John abandoned guidance and connection. Branch abandoned innocence and color.
And Floyd? Floyd didn’t just flip: he collapsed into himself. He was flatlining, colorless, fading, and yet… nothing. No screaming, no clawing. He didn’t rage. He didn’t plead. He didn’t even panic. He just endured. Quiet. Calm. Unmoving. Accepting death like a polite guest.
The diamond didn’t break him, it exposed him. Every quiet, measured breath became a scream you couldn’t hear. The other brothers’ inversions were a warning: if they became their opposites, Floyd became the opposite of everything that screams life.
He wasn’t just broken. He wasn’t just hurt. He was the embodiment of endurance in the face of annihilation, staring at the edge and shrugging. And that… that is terrifying. Because the scariest kind of broken isn’t loud. It smiles softly, sings one song, and lets the world believe it’s okay while dying slowly...
I like to think that even though probably two decades have passed since they last saw him, Branch is still the precious baby boy of the family and all the brothers have kinda a silent agreement to protect him.
They are like: "If you even do as much as touch a hair on his head, we are going to find you and rip your intestines out, one by one, so you can feel excruciating pain that you will remember for the rest of your life."
We all see Floyd as a sweet and sarcastic boy, but damn if someone hurts Branch, he will be the first to start breaking arms and legs.
They protect, they attack, but most importantly, they got each other's back.
What happened in the first family counseling session of the brothers (it contains a spoiler from Trolls 3 since it is based on the movie, so be warned)
Edit: Originates from the meme I made to this topic. Enjoy :)
Therapist: So, at the beginning I always like to begin with the question: why are you here?
The brothers are sitting on a couch in a nicely dimmed room which has green paint on the walls. The therapist sits across them in his armchair, between him and them a coffee table with a vase of fresh flowers, a cup full of pencils, a neat stack of papers and - what immediately catches Clay's eyes - a burning scented candle. (The order in which the brothers sit on the couch from left to right: Branch, Clay, Spruce, Floyd, John)
All: ...
John: Honestly, I think there is no reason for why we are here.
Bruce: And I think, that you are probably one of the main reasons why we are here. And you probably need it the most.
John: I'm sorry, but I think the real reason we are here is because our little brother's lady forced him to do it.
Branch: WHAT? *he whipped his head around* She didn't force me to do it, she recommended it to me and I took her advice because you know what? I actually CARE about our family and I think we could do a lot better.
John: Do you want to say that I don't care about this family?
Floyd: Guys, guys, please, calm down.
Branch: Geez, John, I don't know, did not really get the vibes when you said we would go our separate ways after we saved Floyd.
John: Are you still bent down on this? Look, I'm sorry that I said that but things are different now, right? We are together now, so why are still hung up on the past?
Branch: Just because something is in the past doesn't mean it doesn't have any effect on me anymore. And besides, it has been, what, two weeks ago? I wouldn't call it the past yet.
John: Potato, tomato. See, this is your problem: you take things way out of proportions and let your emotions control you.
Bruce: Well, at least he shows his emotions and talks about them, in contrast to someone else.
John: Excuse me?
Bruce: You heard me.
Clay, interrupting their talk since he also was not listening to them, asks the therapist: Is the candle not a fire hazard? Is this even allowed in such an establishment?
Floyd: Guys, please, calm down. We haven't even properly started and we are already fighting with each other. Let's all breathe for just a moment and then resume to talk.
...Silence for a few moments ...
Therapist:....So I see, there is a lot of pent up aggression going on he-
John: NOPE, no! You know what? It has been fun and all but I honestly don't want to be here anymore. So, I'll be taking my leave.
Floyd: John, plea-
John: Floyd, I'm sorry, but I really can't do it. I already know how this whole thing is going to go, therefore, why should I even stick around?
Bruce: Wait, what do you mean by tha-
Branch: Oh, because you know everything, don't you?
John slowly getting irritated with this situation, suddenly stands up and says: Listen he- *THUMP* *CRASH*
But he is interrupted by the sound of the coffee table falling to the ground. He stood up too fast and took the coffee table in his momentum with him, which made it rock back and forth, till it finally hit the ground facing the brothers. But with the coffee table, also the vase and the scented candle came to the ground. The vase bursts into many splinters which fly into the air in various directions. One splinter shoots into John's foot.
At the sight of the first drop of blood coming from his foot, John says: Oh my god, hahaha, look at that..
And passes out.
Floyd: OH MY GOD, JOHN, ARE YOU OK?
Bruce: Ohhhhhh, I remember now. He was always afraid of blood, ever since he was a kid. Did not think, it still bothered him.
Floyd: Didn't he live in the wilderness for 20 years? How did he survive?
Branch: oh my god, OH MY GOD!
Branch rolled off screaming from the couch.
While Bruce and Floyd were busy with John, the scented candle rolled it's way to the couch and ignited it.
Clay: AHA, I KNEW IT. *Clay laughs* I knew it would be a fire hazard. You have some explaining to do, mister. *he pointed his finger at the therapist, smiling*
His smile drops.
Clay:...Oh shit.
Branch: HOW DO WE PUT OUT THE FIRE? WHAT IS EVEN HERE TO PUT OUT A FIRE? *running around frantic, looking for something that would help against the fire*
Floyd: Ok, so we have an unconscious body and a fire going on. Just, d-don't FREAK out, Bruce, and stay calm!
Bruce:...I am calm.
Floyd: I SAID STAY CALM!
Clay:...Is not the first step to dealing with building fires 'Inform people in the immediate area to evacuate'? Well, *turns to the therapist* I think you should be the one to leave and warn people, AND also call 911, as we have a *stares at the unconscious John, the anxious Floyd, the confused Bruce and the frantic Branch running around* situation going on.
The therapist, staring at this whole situation in horror:...I honestly don't get paid enough for this. *flees the scene*
*The gang is over at Branch's bunker*
John: Ohhhh, we each get our own oven?
Branch: ... N-No...
Branch, laughing: How many ovens do you think I have???
John, motioning to their kitchen: Three, I thought!
Branch: I see a-
Branch, motioning to one device: This is a microwave.
John: Oh, well I-
Branch: Hey wait wait, actually- hang on- *fiddles with the buttons on the microwave*
Branch, amazed: Its got a bake setting!
Floyd: Ohoho, you learn something new every day!
Clay: Do we- Do we roshambo for who gets to pick first?
Branch: Now I've just discovered I have more ovens than I thought, we don't have to roshambo nothin!
Branch: I am someone who owns four ovens...
Branch, louder and way too happy: I am someone... who owns FOUR OVENS...
Branch: I didn't know I was so rich with ovens...
Poppy, pointing to another appliance: Also the toaster oven!
Branch:
Bruce: Ohhh, toasty boy! Four- Five ovens!
Branch:
Branch, fucking ECSTATIC: I AM SOMEONE WHO OWNS FIVE OVENS
Incorrect quotes from Trolls 3 (and other instances) round foooouuuuurrrr
Branch: Not trying to brag or anything, but I can wake up without an alarm clock now simply due to my crippling and overwhelming anxiety, so...
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Viva about Clay: His eyes are so intense. His attitude so awkward. I think I wanna kiss him.
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Branch: Violence isn't the answer.
Poppy: You’re right.
Branch: *sighs in relief*
Poppy: Violence is the question.
Branch: What?
Poppy, bolting away: And the answer is yes.
Branch, running after her: NO-
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Branch: Dear friends, your Christmas gift this year… is me. That’s right, another year of friendship. Your membership has been renewed.
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Bruce, whispering to Branch, who’s on the phone with Poppy: Ask her something!
Branch: How are you feeling?
Poppy: Fine.
Bruce: Something personal!
Branch: At what age did you first get your period?
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John: Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever sat in total darkness alone wondering why you are not good enough?
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Branch: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Poppy: ... Your what?
Branch: My friends.
Smidge: Is he saying “friends”?
Suki: I think he's being sarcastic.
Biggie: No, no, no, this is delirium, he's cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Branch! All of your friends are in this room.
Branch: I have other friends! You asked me to make new friends, I made new friends! It was a task. I complete tasks.
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Branch: No one's dying!
John: Not with that attitude.
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Poppy: Am I going too far?
Branch: No, no, no. You went too far about seven hours ago. Now you're going to prison.
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Branch: Oh, look at my little cousins in their flower boy outfits.
Poppy, coos: Aw, they’ll look so cute next to the ring bear.
Branch, sighs contentedly: Yeah... Wait, you said “ring bear-er,” right?
Poppy, nods: Ring bear.
Branch: Ring bear-ER.
Poppy: Ring bear.
Branch: Poppy, are you planning some dangerous stunt with a wild animal at our wedding because, I swear to God–
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John: Well, well, well... if it isn’t my old friend: the dawning realization that I fucked up bad.
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John: I’m an idiot.
Branch:
Bruce:
Clay:
Floyd:
John:
Floyd: If you’re waiting for us to disagree, this is going to be a long day.
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Shapeshifter: *transforms to look like Branch*
Branch: Okay, are you like BLIND? You look nothing like me. First off, I'm way taller. Secondly, I DO NOT look so sleep deprived and lastly, if you could drag comb through that hair you're like a 7 on a good day and I've been told by my girlfriend I'm a constant 10.
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Poppy: Bridge the generation gap by combining old and new slang into one!
Viva: Tubular AF!
John: Mood to the max!
Branch, annoyed: Groovy, I hate it.
Floyd, just as annoyed: If he breathes, he’s a square.
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Bruce: Rules are made to be broken.
Clay: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken.
Poppy: Uh, piñatas.
Viva: Glow sticks.
John: Karate boards.
Branch: Spaghetti when you have a small pot.
Bruce: Rules.
Clay:
Incorrect Quotes from Trolls 3 ( and a little from other movies, kinda inspired by @enzogabriella)
Poppy: Ok, maybe playing ‘whose family is most dysfunctional’ wasn’t the best idea we’ve had. Branch's been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can’t get him out...
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Branch: bitches b like “im baby” but have childhood trauma and neglect like wtf do u know about being baby u were forced to grow up from an early age anyways I’m bitches
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Branch: Poppy, what do IDK, LY, and TTYL mean? Poppy: I don’t know, love you, talk to you later Branch: Ok, I love you too, I’ll just ask Floyd.
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Viva: Favorite horror movie? Bruce: It John: Saw Clay: Annabelle Poppy: High School Musical. after watching it I spent all my middle school years terrified that the entire school would start singing something and I’d be the only one who didn’t know the lyrics
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Cop: You’re receiving a ticket for having three people on one motorcycle. John: Shit. Bruce: Wait, three? Cop: Yeah? Clay: OH MY GOD FLOYD FELL OFF!!!
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Branch, walking into his bunker: Hello, people who do not live here. Floyd: Hey. Bruce: Hi. Clay: Hello. John: Hey! Branch: I gave you the key to my place for emergencies only! John: We were out of Doritos.
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Branch: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Poppy: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Branch: No! Four to five seconds! Poppy: Too late!!!
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John: You lying, cheating, piece of shit! Branch: Oh yeah? You’re the idiot who thinks you can get away with everything you do. WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD John: I’m leaving you, and I’M TAKING RONDA WITH ME Poppy, picking up the monopoly board: I think we’re gonna stop playing now.
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Velvet: If you can’t beat them, dress better than them
This is sooo cute <3
(and so canon. You cannot tell me this is not an actual thing that happened)