I was thinking earlier I wasn't mad into the current plot of TRH, but I realized no matter what they're doing I'm filled with love for my HUSBAND, y'all!! 😢 😍
Prologue: The first fanfiction, when I started writing for Royal Romance, was Lighthouse. Others came afterwards. I posted Lighthouse later on tumblr because I was too nervous to share it. Lighthouse was an abstract of the Royal Romance AU swirling in my mind. I always wanted to write backstory and the future of the Lighthouse. As it was my first you may find it a naïve creation. Your first creation is like first love which remains close to heart. Even if its not perfect, I still call it my dream fic. And yeah, once again I need some words of motivation as I find it difficult to express in English. (English is not my native language). So, you all are requested to like, share, message and re-blog the primary part of my story so that I will be able to go on! One more thing, I am still searching for the name of this AU/story, so I invite suggestions.
Drake was staring on the ceiling of the hotel room thinking about all the incidents of recent past. He cursed himself for running away from Riley just after kissing her for the very first time. But he had to run away as he couldn’t betray his best friend. One who had obliged him for all the possible things in his life. But that Kiss. That was not just a kiss. That was most love that he could ever get in his life. It was best coz it has been exchanged a thousand times between their eyes before reaching lips. The moment is gone now. Riley must be hating him. What are you thinking of me, Brooks? A coward. Or may be that I don’t want you. You don’t know how much I want you. Can’t you see it in my eyes? I just want you to be here in my arms so that I can kiss you and tell you how much I love you! If I ever get a chance, I swear I will take care of you until my last breath.
I’ll always save you from these nobles and this fucking court. You are mine to take care of. And I want to be loved by you and only you. You are the most beautiful girl in the world. No. Universe. How can a girl be so confident? So full of life. I have always seen those dull and crappy noble women. They just don’t stand anywhere against you. I know, you will beat them all. You will win. I know that. But somewhere I don’t want you to win. I hope Liam rejects you. So that I can make you my own. But there are no possibilities for this situation as Liam is head over heels for you. In the end, you will win and I will lose. You will be right beside him and rule this country. And I will look at YOU from the crowd mourning for my lost love. I have lost the love of my life. Again. Yeah Stella ditched me. I didn’t know she was a gold digger. I was an emotional fool back then. It’s true that I gave her my heart. It hurt a lot later. She married a rich businessman. I hated girls after that. I didn’t want anybody come closer to me for almost 5 years. This time it’s much different Brooks. I will be never be able to love again, to live my life again, after you leave. Fuck. It hurts when I only think about it. What will happen when you will be gone in real. Would I be able to breathe? Shit! When did it all start? What I have with you, I don’t want with anyone else. When did I start to love you, Brooks? I don’t even remember falling for you. Now, I fell in love with you so hard that I will never be able to rise again.
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A/N : I apologize to all of you, my loyal followers! I love you guys and I hate disappointing you, but life has just been so crazy lately that I haven’t found the time to write. I was going through my drive and reading this story and was inspired to finish this unfinished chapter. It sat in my files half finished for the longest of time. I don’t think this is very well written, but I wanted to publish it anyway. Sorry!
Summary: How does the gang cope after Catheryne’s rescue? How will she?
Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8, Part 9
Catheryne eerily feels the motion around her. She is unconscious, but she registers what is happening in her surroundings. Liam is carrying her through the corridors of the palace. He lays her down on her king-sized royal bed and cocoons her with a warm blanket. She can feel him sitting on the edge of her bed and hears the soft tone of a dialing phone. She wills her eyes to open, but her brain doesn’t respond.
She hears Liam’s conversation. Her heart breaks when she hears the distinct, recognizable pain of his voice, “Please, doctor, just tell me what it is.”
A good few minutes pass by. Catheryne connects the dots and figures that Liam is talking to Dr. Mallon about her recent episode. She could hear the faint mumble of her old ally’s voice. She couldn’t make out what he was saying but it sounds serious.
“Thank you, Dr. Mallon,” Liam whispers and hangs up the phone. Catheryne hears him release a deep sigh. She can hear the stress and the burden in his breath. She couldn’t help but feel responsible for making him that way. This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be happy and planning our wedding right now, but instead they were growing farther apart every day from the strains of Catheryne’s condition.
The bed shifts as Liam lays down beside her. He whispers in her ear, “I promise, Catheryne, I promise that I will fight beside you through all of this.”
She hears the sincerity in his voice. She has no shadow of a doubt that Liam will do anything for her. He will fight for her. He will die for her. He would give her the world, and she knows it. But could she allow him to waste his life on a broken woman like herself? Could she, in good conscience, let him sacrifice himself for her?
She decides to stop her worry for now. For the time being, she just wants to be close to Liam just the way they were before she was taken. After a little while, she hears the rhythmic breathing of Liam sleeping. She tried to go to sleep, but she was afraid. She is afraid of the images that she sees when she closes her eyes. She is afraid of the screams that she hears; mostly hers. So, she lays in the moonlit room with only Liam’s steady breathing to occupy her mind.
In the moon light, Liam’s features are almost angelic. She has never seen him so peaceful, so calm. The creases on his forehead are nonexistent. The stresses he carries from being the monarch gone as he lays there dreaming.
It was in that moment that she realizes she can’t burden him. She can’t stay with him in her condition. She lost herself in that tunnel and she needs to find her again if they were ever going to work.
Catheryne watches him sleep and lightly traces his cheek. Liam subconsciously gravitates toward her touch and inches closer to her. She smiles at the action and lay her head on his chest. Being in his arms is the safest she’s ever felt, but she couldn’t…she doesn’t feel safe…not anymore. The sad and terrifying thing is that the reason is because of herself. She might have escaped the tunnels, but Amir won in the end.
As she lays there in the dark, she decides to temporarily sleep her problems away beside the man that she loves. Morning will come and new complications with it. For now, she wants to just feel like the old Liam and Catheryne before that dreadful night, before she was taken.
The next day Catheryne wakes with an empty, cold bed beside her. She rubs her eyes open and finds a note on the pillow. She takes note of the neat Liam’s penmanship before reading, “Good morning, my love. I apologize for leaving so early, but there are matters I must attend to. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to let the staff, guards, or our friends know. I love you.” She admires his limitless of affection for her. Even through all he’s seen of her, he never stops loving her. She doesn’t doubt that he will ever stop.
Two months have slowly crept by in the palace and things have taken a routine around Catheryne. She had fully healed physically, and her episodes are less frequent. In the morning, she is awoken by the giddiness of Maxwell’s voice and personality. He forces her to a walk around the palace. By this time, the press has all but left and she can venture to the front of the palace and walk the garden mazes once again.
Ever since the events that transpired, Maxwell couldn’t seem to break through her walls. He’s tried different tactics and approaches but none of them works. He does understand why she is guarded. The pain and torture she went through is unfathomable. He just hopes that over time her mentality will also heal.
After their walk, Hana comes by to join them at breakfast. Maxwell leaves to let Hana try to coax Catheryne out of her shell. They walk up to Catheryne’s room and Hana tries to talk to her. She talks about some design ideas she has for Valtoria since Catheryne offered a place for her at her duchy when she was dealing with her family’s fiasco.
When they talk, Catheryne mostly sits by the window and watches the horizon with unreadable eyes. She nods and gives her opinion when asked, but more often than not she sits quietly as Hana fills the room with her divine voice and words. Sometimes, she offers words of encouragement such as “hang in there” or “it will get better over time”.
Will it? She wonders to herself. She has watched as the world adjusted around her. They don’t treat her the same. They keep her at arms lengths, are careful with their choices of word as they know one wrong move can send her to an episode. They look at her with wary and hesitation. She has contemplated one decision since the day she returned from the hospital and as time went on that decision became more solidified in her mind.
Liam visits her that night after two weeks of not seeing him with excuses such as too many paperwork being the reason. She understands he’s the king, but she also knows that he is limiting the time she spends with her. She can’t figure out why. In the moments that she needs him the most, he isn’t there. Is it because of fear? Shame? Embarrassment? Whatever the reason being, it still hurt.
She can still feel and see the love he has for her as they spent the night in each other’s arms, but there’s a tangible distance between them. One that they know should be spoken and addressed, but also knows how delicate the situation truly is. Catheryne holds onto Liam tightly afraid to let him go, unprepared to say goodbye. She feels the rise and fall of his sleeping form and memorizes it. An hour and a half go by and she makes sure that he is in deep sleep by whispering his name.
“Liam?” No response.
She rises from the bed and head to her closet to retrieve the backpack she has packed with essentials days ahead for this and settles it by her desk. She turns on the dim lamp and begin to write her final letter to her king.
My Dearest Liam,
When we first met in New York, I told you that what I wanted most in life was to fall in love. I lived and saw how my parents never failed to love each other even with the…lifestyle…that they chose. Coming to Cordonia for you, I was able to make that dream come true.
Falling in love with you has been the greatest adventure. I know with the recent events you blame yourself. You probably wish that you can turn back time and not meet me that fateful night so I wouldn’t come here, and I would be safe, but Liam I wouldn’t trade this for anything. I wouldn’t trade our love for my safety or anything in this world.
I know that you’ve been avoiding me since I woke up from the hospital. I don’t comprehend the reason why you would, but I forgive you. I know this isn’t easy for you. I guess putting distance is easier than having to deal with the situation. Ignorance and avoidance are far easier. I don’t blame you.
By now, you must be wondering why I am writing you this letter. The painful reason is to say goodbye. I am not brave enough to tell you in person. If I did, I could never fathom leaving you. Please understand that this is the hardest I’ve ever had to make. It is the most painful thing I’ve ever had to do, and I’ve been tortured.
You must be wondering why I am doing this. It’s for you. I can’t stand watching the world change around and for me anymore. Everyone looks and treats me differently in the palace. I can see fear in the eyes of our friends, and in your eyes. I can no longer be ok with being the person that holds you down.
I also need to leave for my own self. I can’t heal being trapped in the palace. I lost my old self in the walls of those tunnels. I must find who I am, how I fit into this world, into your world again. I don’t know if we will ever see each other again. One thing I ask of you is to live your life. Be happy. If not for yourself, for me.
I love you, Liam. I will always love you. You own my heart, now and forever.
Catheryne
She folds it and lays it gently on top of her pillow. She bends low and kisses Liam’s forehead and gaze at his moonlit face and memorizes it the best she can. A teardrop falls from her eyes to his cheeks and he shifts slightly. She wipes it away with her thumb as she lowers a light and gentle kiss to his lips.
“I love you,” she whispers to his ear.
She walks away and slips quietly out of the room into the dark corridor of the hallway. She maneuvers the various turns that lead to the staff’s entrance and quietly steps out of cool night air.
She heads toward the stables and is startled when she hears a voice.
“Knightely? What are you doing here?” Drake asks.
“Oh, Drake! I didn’t even notice you were here. I didn’t know you would be here so late. What are you doing here?”
“I couldn’t sleep. You didn’t answer my question. What are you doing here?”
“Oh, I was going to take Nightingale for a night ride. Couldn’t sleep,” it wasn’t a complete lie. She was going to take her magnificent black horse for a ride. She just wasn’t returning with her.
“I’ll go with you.”
“Oh no, uhm, you don’t have to do that. I just wanted to be alone, if that’s ok,” she hurriedly says. Come on, Ryne, you were taught to lie for a living and to survive, surely you can lie to one of your best friends just this once.Drake sees through her and squints his eyes suspiciously.
“Knightely, what’s going on? You don’t seem like yourself. And what’s with the backpack?”
She sighs. Nothing gets past him. She might as well be honest. He’ll be able to help Liam when he wakes and finds her gone.
“I’m leaving, Drake. It’s for the best.”
“What are you talking about? What do you mean you’re leaving? Where are you going?”
“I’m not the same. I have to go find myself and I can’t do that while I’m here and when I’m surrounded by people who look at me every day with pity in their eyes. Like the one you’re giving me right now,” she spills.
She watches as he paces the length of the stable and back to her, running his fingers through his hair.
“Where are you going?”
“I don’t know yet, and if I did, I wouldn’t tell you.”
“Does…does he…does Liam know?”
“No, he’ll find out when he wakes,” she admits shamefully. “I can’t say goodbye to him, not in person. There are many things I can take, Drake, but not that. I won’t be able to forgive myself when I see the hurt in his eyes. I won’t be able to live with myself. I wouldn’t be able to leave.”
“Then, don’t. You don’t have to do this, Catheryne.”
The use of her name startles her a little. She knows he means it if he uses her actual name and for a second, she doubts her decision, but then she remembers the countless reasons why she must go.
“I have to, Drake. For me. My body has healed, and now it’s my mind’s turn. Please, Drake, you gotta let me go.”
“God, Catheryne. Do you know what you’re asking me? When Liam finds out that I let you go, he might never forgive me. Don’t you understand that I have to try to convince you to stay?”
“But you know you won’t”
A moment passes before he whispers, “I know.”
“Go,” he whispers so quietly into the night that Catheryne might not have heard it all if her focus hadn’t been so intent on him.
“Thank you, Drake.”
“Will we see you again?” he asks as she opens the gate to Nightingale’s pen.
“I don’t know. I hope so,” she answers truthfully.
He stays quiet as he watches her prepare the horse for the ride. When she was finished, she turns to him.
“Take care of him. He’ll need you now more than ever. And tell him…tell him, I’m sorry and that I love him more than anything in this world.”
She mounts the horse and gets ready to take, but he grabs the rein before she can flick it.
“You know he’ll never stop looking for you, right?”
“I know, but if there’s one thing my parents taught me, it’s how to disappear. Goodbye, Drake. You were the best friend an outsider can ask for.” She places her hand on his shoulder and squeezes it lightly.
He places his hand on top of hers. He didn’t need to say anything else. She knew what he meant with that simple gesture and he lets go and watches her as she became nothing but a dot on the dark horizon.
